Protect Children is a non-governmental not-for-profit organization, based out of Finland that recently published the results of their survey related to the ReDirection Project which looked at CSAM on the Dark Web. 

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Article originally appeared on the Mitigation Aide Research Archive on June 23, 2022.

About the ReDirection Project

The project aims to help consumers of Child Sexual Abuse Materials (CSAM) by providing them an anonymous and self-directed program designed for individuals who view CSAM. The ReDirection Project is the organization’s effort to provide primary prevention of child sexual abuse and exploitation.  

In 2020, they had two surveys on their website. The main survey, Help Us Help You, was for individuals who felt they needed some help with their CSAM production. The second survey was for those who felt they did not need help but were consuming CSAM materials. 

Preparing a sentencing report for a minor attracted person? Get the data you need, quickly, with Mitigation Aide.

• Characteristics of Male Internet Only Child Pornography Offenders
• Comparing Child Pornography Offenders to Child Contact Offenders: What’s the Difference?
• Updated Review of Online Child Pornography Offender Research

The Report about CSAM on the Dark Web

The recently published report is the result of over 8400 responses to the surveys. Survey respondents were all users of the dark web to consume CSAM materials.

The authors provide 6 main bullet point results from the survey:

1. A large number of individuals who consumed CSAM materials want to or have tried to stop using it in the past but have been unsuccessful in their attempts to stop.
2. 70% of the survey respondents stated that they had first been exposed to CSAM materials before they were 18 years old. Almost 40% were first exposed to CSAM prior to the age of 13. 
3. Almost half of the respondents (45%) view CSAM materials of girls aged 4 to 13 years old. 
4. More than half of the survey respondents have feared that their viewing of CSAM materials might lead them to a contact offense with a child. 
5. Nearly half of the survey respondents have watched actual child abuse on a livestream feed.
6. More research is needed.  As most research is conducted with individuals who are convicted of CSAM crimes, knowledge from those not arrested can be informative.  

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Learn more about Primary Prevention and its benefits in these articles:

• How to do Primary Prevention and More
• Help for Minor Attraction
• Research: CSAM on the Dark Web
• You Are Not a Monster: Review of a Long Dark Shadow
• Search: Primary Prevention on Dr. Jen’s Recovery Readings

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Specific Results of the Survey

• 70% of survey respondents first saw CSAM prior to the age of 18. Nearly 40% were under the age of 13.
• 51% first came across CSAM material by accident.
• 43% of survey respondents have been watching CSAM material for 1 to 4 weeks.
• 55% view illegal material occasionally.
• 45% view CSAM of girls between the ages of 4 and 13.
• 50% would like to stop viewing CSAM materials.
• 62% have tried to stop viewing CSAM materials at some point.
• For those who have stopped viewing CSAM, the main motivator was the negative feelings of guilt and shame.
• 45% have seen live streamed CSAM material.
• At some point in their CSAM use, 62% of respondents felt they were unable to control their use.
• 48% did not feel that their CSAM use made them afraid of a contact sexual offense.
• 56% reported that they never thought about direct sexual contact with a child after viewing CSAM.
• 63% of the CSAM users stated that they never sought direct contact with a child with the remainder seeking said contact anywhere from rarely to every time.
• About half the respondents had thought about or attempted suicide or self-harm.
• 58% never thought about telling anyone about their CSAM use.
• 54% of CSAM users stated they never had (29%) or never wanted (25%) contact with other CSAM users.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Then take this free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

Limitations of the Study

First: it is a survey of dark web users. 

It is possible that the survey results are not generalizable to other populations. 

Second: inherent in any voluntary survey, there is the possibility that there are characteristics of those willing to take a survey that are different from those individuals who chose not to, again possibly affecting the generalizability of the results. 

The Real Value of the Study

The authors are correct in that most of our knowledge of individuals who consume CSAM materials comes from people who have been arrested for its possession. Therefore, all data misses a huge segment of people, those who are viewing the material and not getting caught. Additionally, the more we know about the consumers of CSAM, the better able we are to create prevention programs to help decrease the use of CSAM at a primary prevention level.

Reference: Insoll, T, Ovaska, A & Vaaranen-Valkonen, N. (2022).  CSAM users in the Dark Web.  https://protectchildren.fi/2021/09/23/redirection-survey-report/

Article originally appeared on the Mitigation Aide Research Archive on June 23, 2022.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

The post Research: CSAM on the Dark Web first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

After years in this field, those of us who treat problematic or compulsive sexual behavior still hear from colleagues that they do not believe that sex addiction is real. 

Worse yet, those of us who treat it have been accused of simply being in it for the money. I have a good laugh at that one. 

However, one of the arguments that some opposed to the concept of sexual addiction make is that a loose diagnosis of the problem can be confounded by religious or personal beliefs. 

Moral Incongruence

This has spurred some great research by Perry, Grubbs and others about moral incongruence, whose basic premise is that some people’s distress over their sexual behavior, which they often label pornography addiction, is caused by them sexually acting in a manner that is against either their religious or personal values. Many of these individuals seek treatment for their self-diagnosed addiction. 

Are you a Licensed Professional Counselor in need of continuing education? Learn more about Sex Addiction, Erotic Conflict, and Moral Incongruence from Dr. Weeks and Sexual Addiction Treatment Services, an NBCC ACEP™ approved provider!

Sexual Addiction Treatment Services has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7250. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Sexual Addiction Treatment Services is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.

Enter, the World Health Organization

Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD) is not a name or diagnosis that has made its way into the internet lexicon like sex addiction or pornography addiction. It is, however, the World Health Organization’s recently (2019) approved diagnosis in the International Classification of Diseases-11 (ICD-11) relating to what is commonly referred to as sexual addiction. Reporting on the new system went into effect January 1 of this year. 

As a side note, the DSM-V does not recognize sexual addiction or pornography addiction as a valid mental health disorder. 

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses?

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Removing Ambiguity about Compulsive Sexual Behavior

One of the most exciting things about the diagnostic criteria for CSBD is that it removes the confound of moral incongruence from the diagnostic picture. The diagnostic criteria specifically states that any distress that is: “entirely related to moral judgments and disapproval about sexual impulses, urges, or behaviors is not sufficient to meet the requirement of marked distress. If one looks closely, the diagnostic criteria are strictly behavioral, removing the feelings of the actor or any family member of the actor from the picture.”

Why does this make a difference? 

Well, for several reasons:

1. This is global recognition that CSBD is a real and valid issue that many people struggle with.
2. It allows for a more nuanced diagnosis that can help clinicians provide treatment best suited for their clients.

The treatment paradigm for someone dealing with sexual behavior with moral incongruence is not necessarily the same treatment plan for someone with CSBD.  

Concerned that you may be dealing with CSBD? The CSBD-19 is a validated self-report assessment you can take to help you understand your behavior. 

Want to take the CSBD-19 right here in your browser with results you can share with your therapist? We’ve made that available for you for free!

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

The post What is Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

One of the unfortunate, but predictable, outcomes of the horrific Georgia shooting at the massage parlors is the rash of news articles talking about how Sex Addiction isn’t real. Most of what people are saying tends to focus on the lack of inclusion in the DSM-V. It never occurs to many how sex addiction can be confused with moral incongruence. What we need is a thorough discussion of the massive body of sex addiction research.

A full blown narrative of the research on sexual addiction conducted since the publication of the DSM-V in 2013 would be beyond the scope of this blog. I will, however, leave you with a few paragraphs regarding the topic that I recently included in a sentence mitigation report.

Are you a Licensed Professional Counselor in need of continuing education? Learn more about Sex Addiction, Erotic Conflict, and Moral Incongruence from Dr. Weeks and Sexual Addiction Treatment Services, an NBCC ACEP™ approved provider!

Sexual Addiction Treatment Services has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7250. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Sexual Addiction Treatment Services is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders– V: (DSM-V)

In the current edition of the DSM, there is no stated mental disorder that encompasses the concept of sexual addiction. Be that sexual addiction, sexual compulsivity, hypersexual disorder, etc. To simply negate a mental health phenomenon because it is not in a version of the DSM that is currently almost 8 years old is to negate both the history of the disorder with the DSM and the body of research that has been conducted since the DSM-V work group decided against including Hypersexual Disorder. 

Prior to the publication of the newest edition of the DSM-V in 2013, the Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders Workgroup (Kafka, 2014) considered the inclusion of Hypersexual Disorder into the upcoming edition of the DSM. The suggested diagnostic criteria were as follows:

The “Almost Officially” a Disorder

1. Over a period of at least six months, recurrent and intense sexual fantasies, sexual urges, and sexual behavior in association with four or more of the following criteria:
   1. Excessive time is consumed by sexual fantasies and urges and by planning for and engaging sexual behavior.
   2. Repetitively engaging in these sexual fantasies, urges and behaviors in response to dysphoric mood states (e.g., anxiety, depression, boredom, and irritability).
   3. Engaging repetitively in these sexual fantasies, urges and behavior in response to stressful life events.
   4. Repetitive and unsuccessful attempts to control or significantly reduce the sexual urges, fantasies, and behavior.
   5. Repetitively engaging in sexual behavior while disregarding the risk for physical or emotional harm to self or others.
2. There is clinically significant personal distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning associated with the frequency and intensity of sexual fantasies, urges or behavior. 
3. These sexual fantasies, urges and behavior are not due to the direct physiological effects of exogenous substances (e.g., drugs of abuse or medication), a co-occurring general medical condition or to a manic episode.
4. The person is at least 18 years of age.

Specify if masturbation, pornography, sexual behavior with consenting adults, cybersex, telephone sex and strip clubs.

It was ultimately decided that Hypersexual Disorder would not be included into the DSM-V. The main reasons cited for the lack of inclusion were concerns around diagnostic accuracy, moral and cultural confounds and a lack of research supporting the concept (Kafka, 2014).

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Take the free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

What’s changed in Sex Addiction Research since 2013?

In the nearly 8 years since the publication of the DSM-V, a vast body of scientific research in peer reviewed journals has been published seeking to understand the concept of sexual addiction and compulsivity which has also been termed hypersexuality.

A recent metanalysis was published by Grubbs et. al. (2020) that systematically reviewed the scientific research on the topic. Research on the topic, alternatively called sexual addiction, sexual compulsivity, hypersexuality, and compulsive sexual behavior began in the mid 1990’s. Research increased during the time that the DSM-V was in development. Knowledge on the topic continues to expand. The Grubbs et. al. (2020) metanalysis included 371 papers published in peer reviewed scientific journals documenting the results of 471 individual scientific studies. 

The Grubbs et. al. (2020) meta-analysis yielded several findings. On the negative side, the study found that there was a lack of rigorous outcomes studies for the treatment of Compulsive Sexual Behavior. Therefore, to date, there is no gold standard approach to treating the issue. The study did reveal that the Hypersexual Behavior Inventory (Reid et. al., 2011) is a well validated and clinically useful tool to assess Compulsive Sexual Behavior. The main finding pertinent to this case is that there is “clear evidence that CSB is a real phenomenon with clinical implications.”  (Grubbs et. al., 2020, p 11)

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses?

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International Classification of Diseases – 11 (ICD-11) and Sex Addiction Research

The ICD-11 is the international equivalent of the DSM-V in the United States. The International Statistical Classification of Diseases is published by the World Health Organization and its most recent version was published in 2019 (WHO, 2019). Like the DSM, prior to any condition being accepted into the ICD there is a process of extensive debate and consideration. The ICD-11 does include a diagnosis of Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD) which is classified under impulse control disorders. The diagnostic criteria share some traits with the proposed DSM-V diagnostic criteria for Hypersexual Disorder.

The Diagnostic criteria for Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (ICD-11)

            Essential (required) features for compulsive sexual behavior disorder:

1. A persistent pattern of failure to control intense, repetitive sexual impulses or urges resulting in repetitive sexual behavior, must be manifested by one or more of the following:
   1. Engaging in repetitive sexual activities has become a central focus of the person’s life to the point of neglecting health and personal care or other interests, activities, or responsibilities.
   2. Person has made numerous unsuccessful efforts to control or significantly reduce the repetitive sexual behavior.
   3. The person continues to engage in repetitive sexual behavior despite adverse consequences (repeated relationship disruption, occupational consequences, negative impact on health, etc.).
   4. Person continues to engage in repetitive sexual behavior even when the individual derives little or no satisfaction from it.
2. The pattern of failure to control intense sexual impulses or urges and resulting repetitive sexual behavior is manifested over an extended period of time (e.g., 6 months or more.)
3. The pattern of repetitive sexual behavior causes marked distress or significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational, or other important areas of functioning   NOTE:  Distress that is entirely related to moral judgments and disapproval about sexual impulses, urges or behaviors is not enough to meet this criterion.

The inclusion of the rule out relating to erotic conflict or moral incongruence is a necessary criterion to address historical concerns about pathologizing sex with a label of addiction or compulsivity. Simply engaging in a sexual behavior that is non-normative or outside of a person’s religious or moral belief is not sufficient to diagnose Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder according to the ICD-11.

Check out my more recent article about Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder for more information about CSBD and its classification.

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

References

Bothe, B., Potenza, M.N., Griffiths, M.D., Kraus, S.W., Klein, V., Fuss, J., & Demetrovics, Z. (2020). Journal of Behavioral Addictions 9(2), 247-258.

Gola, M., Lewczuk, K., Potenza, M.N., Kingston, D.A., Grubbs, J.B., Stark, R. & Reid, R. (2020). What should be included in the criteria for compulsive sexual behavior disorder. Journal of Behavioral Addictions published online November 25, 2020.

Grubbs, J.A., Hoagland, K.C., Lee, B.N., Grant, J.T., Davison, P, Reid, R.C. & Kraus, S.W. (2020). Sexual Addiction 25 years on: A systematic and methodological review of empirical literature and an agenda for future research. Clinical Psychology Review (82), 1-15.

Kafka, M.P. (2014).  What happened to hypersexual disorder?  Archives of Sexual Behavior, 43(7), 1259-1261.

Reid, R.C., Garos, S. & Carpenter, B.N.  Reliability, validity, and psychometric development of the hypersexual behavior inventory in an outpatient sample of men.  Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity, 18(1), 30-51.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

The post The Importance of Sex Addiction Research first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Last night, after my final session ended at 8 pm, I looked at the news quickly before I packed up to leave the office. The biggest piece was the horrific murder of eight people in a massage parlor shooting. Many of the victims were women of Asian descent. 

These stories were followed by news that the shooter said he did this because of his sex addiction.

In a moment of full transparency, I will acknowledge that my thought after seeing sex addiction being brought up as a motive for a mass shooting was, “oh no, we don’t need this.” 

The legitimacy of sex addiction continues to be hotly debated in some circles and when horrible things happen and sex addiction is spoken about in conjunction with these horrific acts, it can add fuel to the debate fire.

Condolences

I would like to start this post by saying that I am deeply saddened for the victims and their families. The tragedy is compounded by the fact that many women who work in these massage parlors are victims of sex trafficking. I am also very sorry that the man who committed these crimes felt such despair. This extreme violence shouldn’t ever be the only option.

Much of my work is in forensic psychology, that is the lens through which I am viewing this. When a person commits a crime, there are both aggravating and mitigating factors. As I have no knowledge of the specifics in this case, I am going to speak in generalities. 

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Then take this free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

Mitigating Factors

Mitigating factors are things that may influence the person to commit the act. They are in no way, shape or form an excuse for the commission of the crime. They are the things that can explain the underlying factors that drove the person to the final criminal act. 

It is well established that addiction is frequently a mitigating factor in many crimes. We know that there is an association between drug addiction and crimes such as forgery, theft, etc. Other crimes may be influenced by a person’s untreated mental health issues.

In this case, it may well be that a mitigating factor was sexual addiction. 

This would mean that the perpetrator felt he had an addiction to sexual behaviors and that he could not control them.

Per newspaper reports, he sought treatment for these issues. At some point, his behavior continued to feel out of control and he likely had deep feelings of shame around his sexual behavior; news reports have claimed that his religious beliefs fueled this shame. 

Obviously, there may be other mitigating factors as well.

Aggravating Factors

On the other side of mitigating factors are aggravating factors. These are issues that make the crime particularly heinous. 

Again, not having reviewed the case, I can speculate that an aggravating factor here is the fact that many women who work in massage parlors are victims of sexual trafficking. Research from many nonprofit advocacy groups that work to stop sex trafficking has shown that many of these women  are often from China or South Korea. These women are often under extreme financial pressure, have limited resources and are recruited to work by fraudulent means and often do not know that they will be expected to perform work of a sexual nature. 

If the victims in this case were also victims of sexual trafficking, it makes them even more of a vulnerable population.

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

The Realities

In this case, we can speculate that this man’s feelings of despair over his inability to control his sexual behavior overrode his sense of right and wrong. As I stated before, mitigating factors are explanations and not excuses. A person who has been to treatment has knowledge of coping skills and resources that could have been used instead of resorting to an act of violence. 

There were other options. 

There are two major takeaways from this horrible act of violence in Georgia. 

1.  Sex trafficking is a major problem in the United States.  If you are unaware of this, please do some research on the topic.  Please also support the many great nonprofit organizations that work to stop the trafficking and help the victims of sex trafficking. 
2. Problematic sexual behavior is treatable.  Violence is NEVER an acceptable answer. 

If you feel that you are suffering from a sexual addiction or are having difficulty controlling your sexual behaviors, please reach out to our office. We will be happy to direct you to treatment in your area.

Resources to learn about Sex Trafficking

Office of Juvenile Justice

Human Trafficking Hotline

Minnesota Coalition Against Sexual Assault

Valley Against Sex Trafficking

Resources for Treatment

Sexual Addiction Treatment Services

International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals

Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health

The post Georgia Massage Parlor Shooting first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Rob Weiss’s latest contribution to the recovery community is his book, Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency. 

This book, and the philosophy of prodependence are an alternate take on the idea of codependency that has been rampant in the addiction recovery movement for decades. 

What is Codependency?

Codependence has been defined as “a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition, such as an addiction” (Merriam-Webster). 

In the recovery community the spouse, partner or family of someone suffering from an addiction is often labeled a codependent. 

This term came into the recovery lexicon in the 1980’s and became part of everyday language. 

A codependency diagnosis was rejected by the APA for the inclusion into the DSM but the “diagnosis” has persisted and there are 12 step meetings for Codependents (CODA). 

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

How is Prodependence Different from Codependency?

Rob Weiss proposes the the concept of Prodependence. He, and other therapists, believe codependence is not helpful to family members. 

Family members, loved ones, or care givers of addicts, in the codependency model, are often told they’re part of the problem. However, they’re just trying to cope with a very difficult situation. 

Prodependence is a term to describe “attachment relationships that are healthfully interdependent, where one person’s strengths support the vulnerabilities of another and vice versa, with this mutual support occurring automatically and without question.” (p53.) 

Rob prefers this concept as it celebrates a loved one’s desire to help the addict in their life without shame or blame.

Distancing from the term ‘enabling’

Prodependence looks at the behaviors of those around the addict as attempts to maintain or restore healthy attachment.

Not as enabling. 

Treating prodependence is similar to treating co-dependence in terms of encouraging healthy boundaries and self care. 

However, it differs by being a strength based, attachment driven model that values loved ones of an addict.

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses?

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Kindness and Empathy, Not Shaming

Another key idea behind prodependence, is that an addict has an attachment disorder and needs healthy attachment to truly heal. 

Encouraging prodependence, treating addicts and their loved ones with kindness, empathy and respect, can help repair attachment traumas. 

Intimacy Versus Codependency

Another difference between prodependence and codependence is looking at addiction as an intimacy disorder. In opposition to tough love, intimacy disorders are treated with the pursuit of healthy, intimate and ongoing connection.

While suggesting that codependence may be an outdated concept is risky, it doesn’t feel groundbreaking. Prodependence feels like the natural conclusion when you consider what we’ve learned about attachment, intimacy and shame.

As Johann Hari suggests in his TED Talk, “What if all we were taught about addiction is wrong?” 

Perhaps, instead, we should treat addicts and their loved ones without shame and blame. We might get farther modeling healthy attachment, boundaries, compassion, and empathy instead.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

The post Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency – Book Review first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Respected psychotherapist Enod Gray has released Neglect: The Silent Abuser, an excellent primer for recognizing and learning to heal from the consequences of childhood neglect.

Most Don’t or Can’t Identify Childhood Neglect

Most people who come to therapy can recognize overt abuse. Overt abuse is abuse that is obvious to the person or a form of abuse that is easily recognizable. 

For example, physical or sexual abuse, though frequently minimized, are often identified as abuse. 

Verbal abuse people can, sometimes, have more difficulty recognizing. But, again, this type of abuse tends to be more overt. Think of a parent who also calls their child names or humiliates them consistently.

But What About Childhood Neglect?

Neglect is something most people have a harder time identifying. 

Most people think more overt neglect, such as growing up lacking food, safe shelter, etc. Neglect most often brings forth thoughts of physical neglect. 

Most people don’t immediately think of emotional neglect when they are asked about it, because, frequently, it’s not overt or consciously done. It’s also a form of neglect that is easy to minimize or rationalize. 

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Are you exploring your trauma? Do you feel your childhood experiences were detrimental to your current mental or physical health? Utilize this free, validated, self-report questionnaire to find out.

Take the Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) Questionnaire

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What is Emotional Childhood Neglect?

For example, if you grew up in a household with a parent with a mental illness, you may not have received the emotional care and nurturing you needed. However, this neglect was not consciously or intentionally done. It would have been a consequence of the parent’s mental illness and not, necessarily, consciously done. 

As another example, if you grew up in a household with a sibling with a physical disability, this likely took up most of your parents’ time and energy. Likely there was some unintentional neglect in this family system. One family member needed more time and energy, therefore the children without those more overt needs are assumed to be just fine.

Addiction and Neglect

Addiction in one or both parents can also result in childhood neglect. If a parent is struggling with addiction, they won’t be able to meet their child’s needs for nurturance. 

Frequently, we therapists also see neglect in families where one parent is a workaholic. 

Again, this neglect is not something consciously done. It’s often justified by providing the children with all the material goods and experiences they could wish for. Unfortunately, children more often need time, not stuff.

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses?

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

Vignettes of Childhood Neglect

Neglect: The Silent Abuser does a nice job of discussing the topic and its effect on our adult behavior. It does so at a cursory, but understandable level. 

The factual information is nicely complemented by stories of clients of the author.

Often, it is these client vignettes that are most relatable to readers. 

Light on Solutions

After addressing the process of neglect, Ms. Gray provides guidelines and thoughts on how to address the struggles of adults who grew up with neglect. 

In this section of the book, I found myself wishing for more “meat.” 

The thoughts and ideas are brief overviews of ways to help healing such as journaling, yoga, EMDR, and other forms of therapy. 

Though wished for more tools for healing from this book, it is perfectly suited to those new to the concept of neglect as abuse in their own childhood. It feels like a primer for someone just starting their journey into recovery from neglect. 

It also provides an excellent array of resources for further investigation. I would recommend this book to a client who wants a quick and easy read to serve as an introduction to the concept of neglect and the road to healing.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post How to Heal from Childhood Neglect: A Book Review first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

The sex offender treatment world can tend to label out of the box practices “deviant” and the sex therapy world thinks that all conventional sex practices are pretty much just fine. The sex addiction world can tend to think all non-normative sexual practices are an addiction. But where does that leave sex doll use?

As a clinician, I live at an intersection between these three worlds. 

• Sex Addiction Therapy
• Sexual Offender Therapy
• Sex Therapy

These are often conflicting worlds.

It is probably safe to say that these three different but connected worlds all likely have different thoughts about sex dolls.

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Interested in more information about sex dolls and their owners? Here’s all of our posts about them:

• Sex Doll Owners and Contact Offenses: Correlations?
• Why do people own sex dolls?
• Let’s Talk About Sex Dolls
• Sex Doll Use: Is it Deviance, Addiction, or Something else?

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Sex Doll Stigma

Sex doll use and ownership is something that is seriously stigmatized. People who own dolls are often labeled perverts. 

Many people look down on doll owners. While some think if a minor attracted person has a sex doll it will increase their likelihood to actually offend against a child. 

We see this view point when countries or states enact legislation about importation and/or ownership of sex dolls as well as a recent controversy in Texas about the opening of a doll brothel.

It is easy to pass a law about sexual behavior on an emotional basis, however, if the science ends up saying that the law is unhelpful or even harmful, it is nearly impossible to get these types of laws overturned. 

The reality is that most of these statements are either stigmas or assumptions as it is a topic that is little researched.

That’s why I was so excited to see a session at this year’s ATSA conference dedicated to research about doll ownership. 

Dr. Craig Harper and Jeremy Malcolm presented preliminary research regarding sex doll ownership. The first study presented was a qualitative study about the motivations for sex doll ownership. 

The proviso here is that the sample size is still small (6) but is growing as the research is ongoing.

So, Why own a sex doll?

Two themes emerged. 

First: The “perfect partner” scenario.

Second: Sex. 

The owners of the dolls identified deficits on real people or themselves that made relationships difficult. 

The men in the study cited things such as a doll not always being critical as a reason to have a doll versus a real relationship. 

Some men cited their own personal deficits as reasons for having a doll. They suffered from great anxiety when interacting with others and found it easier to have a doll. Therefore, the dolls took on emotional significance as well. 

Creating the perfect partner: We all know that real people have flaws. When creating a sex doll, it is totally customizable and can be created to perfectly match a person’s arousal template.

Does Sex Doll Use Make People Aggressive?

The second study was quantitative and looked at whether or not doll ownership predicted sexual aggression. 

I consider this a topic of great importance, because many people hold the belief that having a sex doll, particularly when you are talking about child sex dolls, will increase a person’s likelihood to offend against a real child.

This study comprised a control group and a group of sex doll owners who owned adult sex dolls, and had them take a survey. My summary of the results:

• Owning a sex doll did not increase the likelihood of sexual aggression. 
• There were no differences between doll owners and non-doll owners on measures of sexual assault proclivity or paraphilic interest. 
• There were no differences between doll owners and non-doll owners on the emotional factors studied, nor in attachment style.

Struggling with excessive sexual thoughts, urges, or activities that are causing you distress? Take the free, online Sexual Symptom Assessment Scale (SSAS) and get a link to share with your therapist.

The study did find that doll owners scored higher in some of the implicit rape theories endorsements. 

Particularly, they scored higher on hostility toward women, seeing women as sexual objects, seeing women as dangerous and sexual entitlement. 

It should be noted that the study did not look at causation: Therefore, you cannot say whether owning a doll increased these scores or that people with these attitudes are more likely to get a doll. However, we can just note a difference.

Rem,ember this is preliminary data. 

The second study has 70 doll owners and 90 controls at present. However, the research is a step in the right direction as it is empirically looking at doll ownership. The second study found preliminary evidence that owning a sex doll is not associated with an increase in sexual aggression. 

Why does it matter?

Laws in states and countries are being enacted regarding sex doll ownership. 

These laws are being proposed without research to back up whether or not bans would be effective. 

It is easy to pass a law about sexual behavior on an emotional basis, however, if the science ends up saying that the law is unhelpful or even harmful, it is nearly impossible to get these types of laws overturned. 

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

The post Sex Doll Use: Is it Deviance, Addiction, or Something Else? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

A recovery book by actor and comedian Russell Brand may not be what you might be expecting in the way of a book review from an addiction therapist, but we should all have an open mind, right?

I started keeping a peripheral eye on Mr. Brand when I began focusing my clinical work on sexual addiction.  Mr. Brand made it very public (writing about it in several books) that he attended the Keystone Extended Care Unit in Chester, Pennsylvania for his in patient sexual addiction treatment.  This is what put him on my radar. I have friends and colleagues who work there and have referred many clients to treatment at Keystone ECU.  When his new book about recovery came out, I thought, “why not?”

Recovery: Freedom from our Addictions has been a pleasant surprise from the get go.  This book is a 12-step book.  The book takes the reader through the entire 12 step process, step by step.  Russell shares his own story of recovery, the good and the bad, in a very relatable way.  He also, very openly, shares his own struggles with the steps.  He has struggled with the concept of God or higher power which is a huge road block for many people who attend or think to attend 12 step meetings.  He addresses his own self-centeredness, inability to ask for help and isolation, which is very relatable to anyone who has dealt with addiction of any kind.

In addition to the book, on his website, www.russellbrand.com, he provides a supplement to the book.  He provides the reader with his own questions and worksheets to work the steps.  I have read many 12 step books and I honestly feel as though these are some of the easiest to follow and real guides I have ever seen.  They are absent the preachy vibe that can come with some 12 step worksheets.  They are also rather blunt, which is a style I prefer.  Honestly, I have printed these out and given them to clients who I know struggle with the higher power concept of the 12 steps or have some other issues with their experiences of the people in the 12 step rooms.

Of course, this is a book by Russell Brand, so it is full of obscenity.  It is not for the reader who objects to a multitude of f-bombs in every chapter.  This is part of why I really like this book.  It is real.  It is raw.  It is what actually happens when a person goes through the 12-step program, not a sanitized version of the process that makes many people feel that recovery is unattainable.

The 12^th step of AA states that “After having a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry the message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in our own affairs.”  This book is Russell’s 12^th step.  It is a great 12^th step and one of the most enjoyable recovery books I have read in a really long time.

For more information on Dr. Weeks clinical work please see our website at www.sexualaddictiontreatmentservices.com 

The post Book Review: Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions by Russell Brand first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Join me this Friday for a free one hour webinar hosted by The Center for Healthy Sex at 12:00 pm (PT) to talk about the effects of cybersex and sexting on children.

Click here to see the event details  http://centerforhealthysex.com/sex-therapy-resources/upcoming-events/

You can also check out my book on the topic:  The New Age of Sex Education:  How to Talk to your Teen about Cybersex and Pornography in the Digital Age.  

The post Sex Ed by Porn: Free Webinar Friday first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

I specialize in working with sexual addiction and problematic sexual behavior. Most of my clients are men.  Working with male addicts for over a dozen years has taught me, in person, that many more boys are sexually abused than the numbers tell us.  These boys do not tell anyone and do not seek help.  These boys turn into men who are profoundly affected by their sexual abuse experiences as children and most of the time, don’t even know it.  They do not name what happened to them as abuse, or they don’t want to.  They feel so much shame about being abused that they lock part of themselves away so tightly it can take years (like 5 to 7 years) of therapy before they even acknowledge to a trusted therapist what happened to them.  These men who were abused as boys suffer in silence.

I realize that many people (myself included) will respond to this by saying that many girls and women do not disclose their sexual abuse and that they too live lives that are deeply affected by their abuse histories.  Having spent time working in a Women’s Trauma and Addiction PHP and IOP program, I do not dispute this.  However, I see a difference.

When women finally find the courage to come forward to seek treatment for their sexual abuse, they can find resources.  There are many group, individual and support resources for women who are survivors of sexual abuse.  Finding help is not so easy for men.  I will share an example from my practice to explain.

I have a male client who came to me last year who I will call Tom.  Tom has a pornography addiction and came to treatment after the problem began to cause a great deal of disruption in his life.  He had never gone to therapy and near the beginning of our work together, he disclosed that, when he was a boy, he was sexually abused by a neighbor boy who was near his age.  He had never shared this with anyone in his life and as soon as he acknowledged the abuse, the floodgates opened.  He started to have flashbacks and other PTSD symptoms.  Tom is a take charge kind of guy and we nearly immediately started to look for resources for him to do trauma work outside of our individual sessions.

First, we looked for men’s specific groups.  There was nothing and we are directly outside of a major east coast city.  Then we looked for trauma groups.  Tom talked to a few places that had groups for trauma survivors and was told that, as a man, he would make the women in the group uncomfortable so they could not have him join the group.  He then had an intake with a county resource for group trauma work.  After his intake, they told him that his case was too complicated and he could not join the group.  After months of looking, we literally could not find a group for sexual trauma survivors that was either all men or that would allow men into the group.

Tom continues his trauma work in individual therapy but craves the connection and understanding that one gets in group work.  He wants to know he is not alone and the therapeutic community was unable to tell him that, as a man, he is not alone.

Tom is just one example of many that I could pull from my case load.  To me, he is the loudest example of how we, as a treatment community, fail male survivors of sexual assault.  I have had other clients walk out of public events for sexual abuse survivors because, as the only man in attendance, they felt unwelcome and uncomfortable.

Why do we treatment professionals who work so closely with trauma not offer more resources to men? Are we uncomfortable?  Is there a reason we focus more closely on female survivors of sexual abuse?  These are questions to which I have no answers.  I have only heartbreak.  I can only do my part to welcome male sexual abuse survivors into therapy when they come and to start group programming for them in my practice.

I challenge other treatment professionals to process this issue and see what we can do to create more resources for men and to be more welcoming.

For a good online resource for male survivors of sexual abuse, please see www.1in6.org

The post We Are Failing Male Sexual Abuse Survivors first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.