Another Book on Boundaries
I admit that I am a sucker for any book on boundaries. Nearly all of our clients struggle with boundaries in their relationships, so I am always on the hunt for another resource that may speak to my clients.
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The other day, while perusing the shelves at Barnes and Noble, I came across this little book titled Set Boundaries, Find Peace: a guide to reclaiming yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab.
It felt like she marketed it just to me!
The Author
Being a digital immigrant, I’m not up on all of the therapists who qualify as Instagram influencers.
Apparently, the author, is.
With that information in hand, after I had purchased the book, I did my best read it with an open mind. I was not sure what I was going to get because, for some reason, an Instagram Influencer therapist had a negative connotation for me.
I was very pleasantly surprised.
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This is a lovely little Book on Boundaries!
While you are not going to find any earth shattering insights into boundaries, you are going to find the information about boundaries shared in a very down to earth and relatable way. Set Boundaries… is written for everyone and avoids the typical therapy/self help trappings of pretense or intellectualism.
Particularly helpful for my clients was the information provided in chapter 8 which talks about trauma and boundaries.
With very tangible examples, Ms. Tawwab provides examples of physical, sexual and emotional boundaries.
She then goes on to discuss how those boundary violations in trauma can lead to different attachment styles, again, with great real life examples of the behaviors that come from, say, an anxious attachment. The part of this chapter I found myself sharing with clients, before I even finished the book, was about self care.
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Self Care
We hear the term self care tossed around a lot. What is self care, really?
It is more than just taking some time for yourself to do some yoga, take a walk or have a cup of tea; all of which are super hard if you have a trauma history.
Here are a few of my favorite of her examples of self care:
- Spending holidays doing things that you enjoy, instead of being guilted into something you hate by family
- Checking in less often with people who drain your energy
- Allowing yourself to feel pleasure and teaching yourself things you weren’t taught in childhood
While the list is much longer, these are the examples that resonate with my clients most.
Beyond her relatable text and excellent examples, Ms. Tawwab also provides exercises or reflection questions at the end of each chapter for the reader to write about and reflect on.
Conclusion
So, yes, this is another book about boundaries.
But it is a good little book about boundaries that is both very readable and relatable. Even while writing this, I’m thinking about buying the book in bulk to have in the office to give to clients and staff.
Buy Set Boundaries, Find Peace: a guide to reclaiming yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab on Amazon.
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