In recent history, the world was introduced to AshelyMadison.com through the news of the site being hacked. The site’s millions of members were likely anxious and fearful of their information being leaked to unsuspecting husbands and wives. The world at large was introduced to a site that those of us in the sex addiction treatment community have known about for a long, long time. The fact is, if you want to cheat on your spouse or partner, the internet can help you in a myriad of ways. Ashley Madison is just one of many avenues you could take.
When the news of the hack surfaced I struggled with many of the comments I saw on blogs or websites about hoping the cheaters were outed, caught, divorced etc. I started to get a bit angry that no one was thinking about the spouses who would find out their husband or wife was on the site. What about their pain? Dealing with both sex addicts and their partners makes you acutely aware of the trauma of being betrayed. Many partners struggle with how they will ever trust anyone else again in a relationship, whether they stay with their current spouse or divorce and enter into a new relationship someday.
Enter Fidelitydating.com. In contrast to AM’s life is short, have an affair mantra, Fidelitydating’s catch phrase is Love is Precious, Stay Faithful. FidelityDating was created to be a safe place for people to date online that does not espouse the hook up culture. One of the first things you see on the website is the proviso, “by signing up you agree you are not in a relationship. You will be honest and faithful.” If there are apps for people who want to have an affair, why shouldn’t there be dating sites for people who want to be faithful!
In an interview in NJ.com, one of the founders relates her story of being betrayed in a relationship. She was in a long term relationship with a man and found out that he had gotten married while they were together. Julie Surrey, one of the founders, understands what it feels like to be lied to, betrayed and have the relationship rug pulled out from under you.
The site’s targeted user is someone who has been the victim of betrayal or cheating and is looking for a monogamous, faithful partner. Having gone through similar experiences, it stands to reason that those on the site would understand the emotional baggage that comes with an affair as well as the struggles to trust.
Though we can never truly predict other people’s behavior or make anyone be faithful in a relationship, starting with the premise of fidelity being a relationship non-negotiable (based on past relationship trauma) might help the odds of success in a new relationship. Using the website will, at least, likely weed out those who don’t want a committed, monogamous relationship as one hopes they would not sign up for the dating site.
Bravo to FidelityDating.com for adding themselves to the niche dating website world. In a world where we can find a dating site based on religion, lifestyle preference, hobbies, professions, etc., why not also have a site based on the overtly stated premise of fidelity?
For more information on Dr. Weeks or Sexual Addiction Treatment Services please visit our website at www.sexualaddictiontreatmentservices.com