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Sex Offenders: What can be done?

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Tue, 09 Sep 2025 13:00:00 +0000

It’s been a long time since I’ve had the time to write what’s been on my mind, but I can’t wait any longer: What can be done about the growing number of sex offenders?

My practice is growing. We are adding groups in both of our offices. While that is a good thing for my business, that’s a really bad thing for society.

Some Background About my Experience with Sex Offenders

In addition to running a therapy practice that works with individuals who have committed sex crimes, I have other gigs.

One of them is as an instructor for a school that teaches law enforcement officers to conduct polygraph examinations. I spend 20 hours with them teaching them about psychology. Last month, I spent my first day with this cohort.

One of the 18 attendees was an officer from North Carolina who is the ICAC (Internet Crimes Against Children) officer for his department. He shared with me the weekly email that he gets from NCMEC (National Center for Missing and Exploited Children).

This is one of the places that people report sexual abuse, child sexual exploitation materials, etc. They keep excellent statistics and ICAC officers get the data each week. I am a data geek and therefore asked if he could forward me the information.

My jaw dropped. Speechless.

I quickly moved into feeling overwhelmed and a bit of despair.

With nearly 20 years in the industry, I know it is bad out there. I know it is REALLY BAD.

But, I didn’t know it was this bad.

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

Here’s a Snapshot

The NCMEC report that he forwarded me provided the following numbers:

In one week, NCMEC’s Cybertip line received 503,139 reports JUST from Electronic Service Providers (Kik, Snapchat, etc.)

That is over half a million reports in one week.

The public made nearly an additional 2500 reports in that week. Of those more than half million reports made just to the CyberTipline that week, over 480,000 of them were for CSAM.

To date, this year only, there have been over 12 million CSAM reports to the CyberTipline.

But there is no way for law enforcement to police these numbers.

They simply do not have the manpower to investigate every one of these tips. They not only have to investigate tips sent to their jurisdictions, they also have all other crimes to deal with outside of the CyberTipline.

There is also, unfortunately, no way to get all of the CSAM off of the web. It just can’t be done.

Again, it’s a workforce and technology thing.

I shared this with one of my colleagues at work and got a message that night that it is stuck in his head, too.

What Do We Do?

When I ask that question, I am asking it outside of the law enforcement/legal system.

I am tired of there not being really any primary prevention for CSAM use. Or any other type of sexual offending.

I am also not at all an expert in prevention outside of my work. My work is secondary or tertiary prevention depending on your point of view.

The thing that comes to mind is Education.

Parents need more education about pornography and what’s happening online.

Furthermore, children need more education and pornography literacy information.

And what do we do for the people who are engaging in offending or who are attracted to children and not offending and want to keep it that way?

We need to normalize therapy.

If you have never heard of Project Dunkelfeld in Germany, check it out. It’s one of the best examples of primary prevention of sex offenders I can point to.

Learn more about Primary Prevention and its benefits in these articles:

Next Steps in Dealing with Sex Offenders

Right now, I have no answers.

Thinking about what I can do about prevention is going to be renting a lot of space in my head for a while.

I implore all of you to think about what you can do as well.

Yes, we need to continue to report abuse when it happens.

But, wouldn’t the world be better if we could figure out how to stop sex offenders from offending in the first place?

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses? Then you should stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

Are you a Licensed Professional Counselor seeking engaging, unique Continuing Education courses? Dr. Weeks offers accredited courses on her practice website on the effects of Pornography Abstinence and other unique topics!

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post Sex Offenders: What can be done? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Adverse Childhood Experiences and Sibling Incest

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Tue, 02 Apr 2024 17:15:01 +0000

I have written a little about sibling incest on this blog. It is something that’s, unfortunately, rather common and not frequently researched. I appreciate when I see research on the topic. I hold out hope for anything that can aid our understanding and guide us toward prevention and treatment.

The Study on Sibling Incest and Adverse Childhood Experiences

A study was published in 2023 in the Journal of Sexual Aggression by Tomsen and colleagues.

This study specifically looked at youth who sexually abuse through the lens of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) by comparing ACE experiences between youth who sexually harmed a sibling and those who sexually harmed a non-sibling child.

So, let’s dig right into the research.

Are you exploring your trauma? Do you feel your childhood experiences were detrimental to your current mental or physical health? Utilize this free, validated, self-report questionnaire to find out.

Take the Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) Questionnaire

Subjects of the Sibling Incest Study

The subjects were adolescent males in Australia who were referred to a Youth Forensic Service for assessment and treatment. All were between the age of 12 and 19 when they started treatment.

The study used the classic ACE questionnaire but also added their own questions to it. They added the variables of caregiver inconsistency, social isolation, bullying victimization, and poor social interaction.

They also looked at whether the youth were prone to internalizing problems (i.e., depression, anxiety), externalizing problems (i.e. aggression) or early sexual behavior problems prior to the age of 10.

Learn More about Sibling Sexual Abuse

Results of the Sibling Incest Study

The study found the youth who sexually harmed a sibling had higher ACE scores than those who sexually harmed a non-sibling. They also found significant differences in family functioning between the two groups.

The differences were found for caregiver sexual abuse victimization, caregiver mental health problems and caregiver inconsistently.

These issues were more prevalent for the youth who sexually harmed siblings.

Youth who sexually harmed siblings were also more likely to experience social isolation and bullying before the age of 12.

The youth who sexually harmed siblings were also more likely to internalize problems than externalize them.

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

What does this mean for treatment?

The authors suggest this provides evidence that treatment for youth who sexually harm others needs to also include the entire family system. Not just the youth.

They also suggest that interventions for youth who sexually harm siblings should include interventions related to developing interpersonal skills and social functioning.

Reference: Thomsen, L., Ogilvie, J. & Rynne, J. (2023). Adverse childhood experiences and psychosocial functioning problems for youths who sexually harm siblings. Journal of Sexual Aggression, 29:3, 374-390.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post Adverse Childhood Experiences and Sibling Incest first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

New Efforts to Protect Teens on Snapchat

Mike — Wed, 13 Sep 2023 20:22:34 +0000

Protections for teens on Snapchat have been slow coming and lacking features of other social media competitors.¹

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Last week Snap Inc., Snapchat’s parent company, released a group of new features targeting 13-17 year olds on the platform. These new features are designed to create a “more age-appropriate viewing experience.”²

But what draws teens, drug dealers³, and those looking to sexually exploit teens to Snapchat?

The Myth of Security on Snapchat

Snapchat’s primary appeal is its perceived security.

Disappearing messages and images, combined with the gamification of “snap streaks,” makes the platform appealing to teens.

The former is also what draws people with untoward intent to Snapchat. The promise of being able to disappear.

The Anatomy of a Snap

Users can send texts, images from their camera roll, and images/videos taken with the app, known as snaps, within a conversation.

Unless texts, images, or snaps are saved to the chat, they disappear after viewing, or within 24 hours. Further, snaps can be set to disappear immediately after viewing, with the ability to view them a second time, or to be retained if the receiver saves the snap.

However, users can retain messages by saving them to the chat, taking a screenshot, or saving them to camera roll. The last two options will send a notification so the sender knows what’s happening with the content.

On the other hand, if a user uses a third-party application, not the built-in screenshot method, to record the screen, no notification will be sent. I bring this up to reinforce the fact that things that happen online can last forever.

See the latest research on criminality related to social media:

Social Anxiety and Loneliness in Online Solicitation Offenders

See more articles related to social media

What are the New Features Protecting Teens on Snapchat?

Safer Contact
- In-App Warnings
  - A warning pops up if a teen adds someone who isn’t in their phone’s contacts and they don’t share enough mutuals with.
- Stronger Friending Protections
  - Higher number of mutual friends before Snapchat recommends someone. As well as requiring a higher number of mutuals before allowing a friend request to happen.
New Strike System for Accounts Promoting Age-Inappropriate Content
- Content promoted by media organizations, verified creators, and random users is vetted to ensure age appropriateness. Violations result in content, then accounts being removed.
Education About Common Online Risks
- Informational productions created in conjunction with the National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE) and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) about:
  - Catfishing
  - Financial sextortion
  - Taking and sharing explicit images
  - And more

Accessible via parents.snapchat.com, a handy family center walks parents through the process of setting up an account for themselves and their children with both text and videos.

However, the protections offered are predicated on parents setting up a child’s account. If your child created an account without your knowledge, you’re out of luck.

If you’re unfamiliar with sextortion, check out Dr. Jen’s article How to Protect Your Child from Sextortion.

How do Other Social Media Apps Protect Teens?

YouTube and TikTok are the most used apps by teens. Occupying spots three and four are Instagram and Snapchat.⁴

I’ll quickly eliminate YouTube and TikTok. Because the former doesn’t have messaging, and the latter has limited messaging capabilities.

Instagram allows users to send text, pictures, and videos and has taken extra steps in utilizing AI to:

Identify problematic accounts⁵
Blur images that may contain “sensitive media”⁶

Both of these technologies are available to Snapchat, but aren’t utilized.

Protecting teens on Snapchat, particularly young girls, from unsolicited explicit images should be paramount.

“…adolescents often underestimate risks and perceive greater potential benefits from risky behavior.”
Smith, Chein, and Steinberg, 2014

Protecting Teens on Snapchat is Secondary to Profits

There is a fundamental disconnect between management and reality about how Snapchat is used. Beyond understanding its usage, particularly teens on Snapchat, executives don’t understand how users get their apps. When called before congress, Snap’s executives weren’t able to answer why their app is rated differently between devices and app stores.⁷

Furthermore, the measures designed to save teens from themselves are invasive. The in-app warnings require teens share their contact list with Snapchat. While this is an opt-in feature, it is still an invasion of privacy.

Matters that concern privacy should always be opt-in, especially for teens.

Learn why it’s important for everyone, especially teens, to be able to control their online experiences. Dick Pic Culture: How do Teenage Girls Navigate it?

Using AI for Fun and Profit

An artificial intelligence was released earlier this year, called “My AI.” It was marked for wide-release to all Snapchat accounts on February 27.

A journalist at the Washington Post created an account posing as a thirteen year old. The artificial intelligence engaged in discussions about sexual relationships and alcohol with that user.

Contrary to their guidelines, My AI wasn’t adjusted for age-appropriateness. Consequently, teens on Snapchat are now being exposed to explicit talk from peers, older people, and machines.

Again, Snap Inc seems more interested in “moving fast and breaking things” to capitalize on tech buzz than ensuring the safety of teens on Snapchat.

Separating Moral Panic from Reality to Protect Your Teens on Snapchat

Even though I’m not a fan of the business model of monetizing users against their will, I do believe that Snapchat can be a valuable outlet for teens.

Teens need to feel a sense of security and privacy to talk to their friends. They also need to be included in the now-integral to life social media experience.

But this doesn’t change the fact that teenagers are prone to taking risks without considering consequences.⁸ Fostering healthy emotional development starts at home.

Creating an open environment to discuss concerns and experiences starts long before your child asks for Snapchat. Put in the work as a parent, build mutual trust.

After you’ve formed that foundation, it’s much easier to give them freedom to explore safely.

And with your oversight.

TL/DR

Snapchat needs to do more to protect teens and be a better steward of social media.
Parents need to create an environment that fosters mutual trust.
Teens need to feel free to explore and secure enough to ask for advice.
Parents can visit parents.snapchat.com for more information about how Snapchat is helping them to protect their children.

References

Snap’s Dangerous New AI Risks Exposing Children to Sexual Exploitation and Abuse EndSexualExploitation.org ↩︎
Introducing New Safeguards to Protect our Community values.snap.com ↩︎
When one pill kills NBCNews.com ↩︎
Teens and social media: Key findings from Pew Research Center surveys PewResearch.org ↩︎
What’s Being Done to Protect Teens on Instagram and Messenger? DrJensRecoveryReadings.com ↩︎
Updates to the Sensitive Content Control about.instagram.com ↩︎
YouTube and Snapchat were asked to defend their apps’ age ratings in Senate hearing TechCrunch.com ↩︎
The Current Landscape of Adolescent Risk Behavior National Library of Medicine www.NCBI.NLM.NIH.gov ↩︎

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

The post New Efforts to Protect Teens on Snapchat first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

What’s Being Done to Protect Teens on Instagram and Messenger?

Mike — Sun, 09 Jul 2023 22:16:00 +0000

Meta, Facebook and Instagram’s parent company, will be using automated systems and giving parents more visibilityto protect teens on their platforms.

How Does Meta Currently Protect Teens?

Prior to these latest changes, Meta already did the following:

Messages to teens from adults over 19 are blocked, unless the teen follows the adult
Teens receive safety notices when messaged by adults who have previously exhibited suspicious behavior
“Take a Break”
- Suggests taking a break after scrolling for a ‘certain amount of time’
- Daily Limit, allowing users to set a maximum amount of time in the app
Quiet Mode: limits notifications and messages when enabled

See the latest research on criminality related to social media:

Social Anxiety and Loneliness in Online Solicitation Offenders

See more articles related to social media

What are the new features?

The following features, available in the US, UK, and Canada to start, rolled out on June 27, 2023.

Invites for DM

Adults must now send an invite to connect via direct message. Only one invite is allowed to be sent per day, limiting the reach of potential abuse on the platforms. This limit is lifted if the teen follows the adult sending the message.

Text Only

All new message requests will be text only. No photos, videos, voice messages, or calls will be accepted until the invite is approved. While not perfect, it will limit abuse.

Learn why it’s important for everyone, especially teens, to be able to control their online experiences. Dick Pic Culture: How do Teenage Girls Navigate it?

Managing Time to Protect Teens

Meta has finally acknowledging that outside influences aren’t the only way their platforms can harm teens.

When a ‘Take a Break’ message comes up, it will recommend teens set a reminder to stop scrolling. During focus testing, “more than 90% of teens keep these reminders on.”

‘Take a Break’ will also expand to include Facebook. Facebook’s explicit limit will be 20 minutes. Unlike Instagram’s vague, ‘a certain amount of time.’

Meta is exploring a nudge that will suggest teens close the app if they’re scrolling Reels at night.

Quiet mode will be expanding globally in coming weeks.

If you’re unfamiliar with sextortion, check out Dr. Jen’s article How to Protect Your Child from Sextortion.

Additional Parental Supervision to Protect Teens

Meta is giving parents a bigger window into their teens’ activities online.

When a teen blocks someone, Instagram will suggest the teen allows their parents to supervise their account.

Parents with access will now be able to see mutuals of both followers and those following their teens.

Meta has also expanded options for notifications from Parental Supervision on Instagram.

Conclusion

All of these tools are a good start, but it can’t replace having an actual conversation with your child.

Don’t let a billion dollar company be the medium you use to communicate with your children. Sit them down and talk to them about the realities of an always-connected world.

Link to Meta’s Post on these updates.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

The post What’s Being Done to Protect Teens on Instagram and Messenger? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

How to do Primary Prevention and More

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Fri, 24 Feb 2023 18:59:44 +0000

My reading over coffee this morning was a great article in Time Magazine about moving the US toward the primary prevention of child sexual abuse, a front page Wall Street Journal article about child predators using TikTok to gain access to victims and my first moderately threatening troll comments on a webinar on my YouTube page.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

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Primary Prevention vs Secondary Prevention

Let’s start with the Time Magazine article. This article, entitled America Has been going about stopping child sex abuse the wrong way, was written by Elizabeth Letourneau and Luke Malone.

Elizabeth Letourneau is the Director of the Moore Center for the Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse at John Hopkins. Luke Malone is an award winning journalist who writes about child sexual abuse and victimization.

Reading this article this morning felt very validating.

When I teach to LEO or other mental health professionals, I discuss how the US is very good at secondary prevention but not so good at primary prevention. Meaning, once we catch someone AFTER they have abused a child, the system is relatively good at holding them accountable. That includes: mandating treatment during incarceration and/or after while the person is on probation or parole.

This is secondary prevention. We work hard to prevent ANOTHER sexual assault from happening.

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

How should we do Primary Prevention?

Primary prevention, meaning we prevent the FIRST sexual assault from happening is not something our system is very good at.

Much of the teaching puts the onus on potential victims to stop potential assault rather than putting the responsibility on the abuser. This would be primary prevention.

Some other countries have done a better job at this and I point to Project Dunkelfeld in Germany. There, a person who is concerned they may offend against a child can call a program and receive treatment. The treatment program is publicly advertised and funded.

In the United States, for every $1 spent toward prevention research, $2700 is spent on incarcerating offenders. They also discuss current research projects that are working on ways of improving and increasing primary prevention in the US.

The authors have a book coming out at some point which I look forward to reading.

Learn more about Primary Prevention and its benefits in these articles:

Child Predators on TikTok

This app has made it big! They made it to the front page of the Wall Street Journal, a paper noted more for discussing financial markets than sexual abuse.

The WSJ featured an article discussing how TikTok has quickly become an avenue for child abusers to find and groom victims.

Those of us in the field have known this for some time.

It’s good to see it make the front page. Perhaps parents will read the article and start to monitor what their children are doing on the app. Frequently, there is little parental oversight on social media apps which leads some children to be vulnerable to predation.

If you’re unfamiliar with sextortion, check out Dr. Jen’s article How to Protect Your Child from Sextortion.

YouTube Trolls

Finally, to my first troll. I awoke this morning to some comments on a webinar on my YouTube channel about treating individuals with pedophilia. The comments were not surprising, but disappointing.

The person commented that I was an “intellectual” who should be “purged.” They made traditionally stereotypical comments about people who commit sex crimes needing to be beat up or killed. Though, in my mind, I made many replies, I have long ago learned that social media repartee with folks with strong but uninformed opinions goes nowhere.

So, to end my morning coffee, I simply reported them for making threats. Then I began my day of working in secondary prevention of sexual abuse.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

The post How to do Primary Prevention and More first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Dick Pic Culture: How do Teenage Girls Navigate it?

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Sat, 28 Jan 2023 17:11:26 +0000

Instagram and Snapchat mAPPing drawing exercise. (CLC2, Year 10 girls) Figure 1

As I sit to write this, I’m experiencing something I never anticipated in my professional life. I just wrote the phrase “Dick Pic Culture” in the headline.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Beyond just my blog, I can’t believe I’ll be writing about a study from a respected, peer reviewed scientific journal with the words Dick Pic in the title.

When I started working with problematic sexual behavior nearly 20 years ago, I did not foresee this. Yet here I am, writing, again, about research involving young women being sent pictures of men’s penises. And just how often those pictures are sent without consent.

Enough Shock. Now the Study.

Drawing of a faceless dick pic on Instagram: “Anonymous: that’s what boys do” (Swans, Year 9 girls) Figure 5

I recently came across this study, published in 2021, by researchers in the United Kingdom. It addressed the experiences of teenage girls being sent “dick pics” and it was done in a rather creative way.

The study examined a number of situations. The first was the unwanted receiving of the pictures from older men on Snapchat. Then they asked the girls (aged 11 to 18) about their experiences receiving these images from their same aged peers.

In the United Kingdom where the study took place, sending a picture of your genitalia to someone under the age of 18 is a sexual offense.

A 2018 survey in the UK of women aged 18 to 24 found that 47% of those women had received an unsolicited image of a man’s penis.

46% of those women received the image from an adult man before they were 18 years old. Therefore, nearly half of the women in that study were a victim of a criminal offense.

For this study, the authors ran focus group discussions combined with an arts-based method of social media post drawing to provide a space for the girls to share their experiences. The researchers worked with 144 girls between the ages of 11 and 18 who were all in school.

Are you looking for more reputable, data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The Results

Drawing of Snapchat Private Message: “Dick pick from weird boy in Ireland” (Swans, Year 8 girls) Figure 6

76% of the girls in the study had received a dick pic and, for the most part, these images were not requested.

However, despite these images being unwanted, the girls did not usually report the sender either to the social medial platform or their school. They stated that it was easier to block or ignore the sender than to report them.

Additionally, 70% of the girls had been asked to send nude images of themselves. The standard manner in which this is done is by sending an unsolicited dick pic in an attempt to solicit a trade of nude images.

The researchers refer to this as a transactional dick pic. Images sent by peers are often sent to be transactional.

How Does Dick Pic Culture Reflect on the Victim?

The study’s respondents reported stigmatization if it becomes public knowledge that they received a dick pic. There is an assumption that the girl would have sent an image in return, even if they didn’t. If the trade is refused, she may be subject to the anger of the sender. Or the sender might outright lie about getting a nude image in return.

When someone that the girls thought was a friend sends an unsolicited image, the respondents reported their reaction goes from feeling disgusted, to feeling awkward around the friend to the process being normalized.

Many reported that it was more “of a big deal” when they received a dick pic from someone they thought of as a friend.

When the sender was a friend, it brought up trust issues in the friendship and awkwardness when they would see the sender as they could not unsee the images.

The authors of the study do point out that not all girls are bothered by the receiving of unsolicited sexual images. Some girls have come to associate being sent these images as a sign of desirability.

Struggling with excessive sexual thoughts, urges, or activities that are causing you distress? Take the free, online Sexual Symptom Assessment Scale (SSAS) and get a link to share with your therapist.

What do the Authors Think About Dick Pic Culture?

Drawing/ Mind Map Covering Online Sexual Assault and Sex Education (SELC, Year 10 girls) Figure 11

The authors conclude that apps such as Snapchat have been integral in the increase in prevalence of unsolicited penis pictures.

In talking to the girls, they also found that they did not consider receiving these images a form of sexual harassment and, because of this, they more often than not, did not report the senders either to the app platform or to school officials.

In their conclusions, the authors suggest adopting the concept of online sexual harassment and image based sexual harassment. Doing so will help everyone involved better understand what happens when image sharing becomes a nonconsensual practice. Whether that be an unsolicited dick pic or the nonconsensual re-sharing of a consensually shared image.

A Perspective for the US

In the US, we tend to only take the sending of unsolicited sexual images seriously if the recipient of the images is a minor. This is a criminal offense.

When the recipient of the images is an adult, there appears to be little legal recourse.

This brings to mind an article recently published by the Canadian Lawyer Magazine, where Michael Spratt argues that the unsolicited dick pic should be criminalized, but with care.

Reference: Ringrose, J, Regehr, K. & Whitehead, S. (2021). Teen Girls’ Experiences Negotiating the Ubiquitous Dick Pic: Sexual Double Standards and the Normalization of Image Based Sexual Harassment. Sex Roles, 85, 558-576.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

The post Dick Pic Culture: How do Teenage Girls Navigate it? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Blocking Porn: Browsers – How to Decide?

Mike — Tue, 04 Oct 2022 16:21:12 +0000

Welcome to the next installment of our series Blocking Porn: Browsers. This is just a small piece of advice for content blocking for the top 4 most popular¹ browsers and some privacy-oriented alternative browsers.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

As always, it’s important to have a conversation about WHY content is being blocked whether it’s for your friend, your partner, or your child. Installing this software without the user’s consent isn’t just malicious, it’s illegal in some jurisdictions.

Technology can’t replace healthy communication in a relationship, it’s merely a tool to help better our lives.

Chrome

Google’s Chrome browser owns almost two-thirds of the market and has great customization options. It is available across all common desktop and mobile platforms.

There are also a few drawbacks, including Google’s constant spying on everything you’re doing, but that’s a whole different discussion.

Extensions

The easiest way to block porn in Chrome is by using extensions. Google Chrome Extension Store

These are the top two recommended blockers:

If you sign into your browser, your extensions will sync across your desktop devices. Meaning on PC, Mac, and ChromeBook all of your extensions SHOULD work. Chrome on iOS (iPhone/iPad) doesn’t support extensions and on Android support can be spotty. We’ll cover other options for blocking pornography on mobile devices in later installments in the series.

Alternate Search Engines

You aren’t required to use Google for search, even if you use Google’s Chrome browser. If you’ve set up Bing to be your safe search engine of choice, changing the default search engine is fairly straightforward. Instructions from Google.

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

Apple Safari

Safari

Safari is the default browser on Apple devices, including Mac, iPhone, and iPad. It’s not available for PC, Linux, Android, or Chromebooks.

Just like with Chrome, and the next two browsers, Safari has the ability to add extensions to add functionality, including restricting access to certain types of sites. Safari DOES support syncing extensions, bookmarks, and other settings across all supported devices.

Extensions

The top recommended extension for Safari to block pornography is Porn Blocker Plus – for Safari, available in the App Store.

Alternatively, the top extension from Google’s Chrome has been ported to Safari’s extension eco system: BlockSite.

Edge

Microsoft’s Edge browser is available on all major desktop and mobile platforms and is built on the Chromium framework. This is the same framework that underpins Google’s own Chrome browser. As such, it has excellent support for extensions, because they don’t need to be completely re-written from Chrome.

Extensions

Edge’s extensions store, which is very similar to Chrome due to their sharing the same framework, is available here. Chrome’s top content blocking extension is available on Edge as well, BlockSite.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Take the free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

Firefox

Firefox is a unique browser, built by the Mozilla foundation. It’s a privacy-focused browser and the developers are very transparent in their operations. And it’s available for all major desktop and mobile platforms, and just like all the others has its own extension store.

Extensions

BlockSite is here again. Mozilla also recommends Impulse Blocker by raicem.

Special Note

In an effort to prevent browser extensions from peering over your shoulder, Firefox does not allow them access in Private browser windows by default.

To ensure your extensions are enabled in in-private windows:

Go to the Add-ons Manager
Click on the 3 dots of the extension you want to enable
Click manage
In details, select Allow for “Run in Private Windows”

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

Alternative Browsers

Brave Browser

Brave

Brave, developed by Brave Software, Inc., is a privacy oriented, chromium based browser. It will block ads and trackers by default. Brave uses the Chrome web store for extensions. They also offer their own search engine, as the default option.

Iron

Developed by German company SRWare, the Iron browser is built on the Chromium framework with privacy and security in mind. It’s available for Windows, MacOS, Linux, and Android but is missing from iOS. While content filtering is not built into Iron, extensions are available.

Opera

Another Chromium-based browser solution with a unique user interface, Opera offers a wide variety of extensions, called addons in Opera, and themes to choose from. It’s available for Windows, MacOS, Linux, ChromeOS, Android, and iOS.

Other Tips

To avoid the temptation of circumventing controls, uninstall all other browsers from the device.
Make sure to check the settings of any installed extensions and ensure they’re enabled for private/incognito windows.
Be careful of extensions that don’t have a lot of reviews or downloads; the extension stores aren’t well moderated.
To function properly, extensions MUST access all of your browsing data, be sure to check the privacy policies of all extensions to see what they do with your data.

Anecdote: While writing this article I installed a Chrome filtering extension and got hit with pop-ups that tried to redirect me to install additional, known-malicious extensions. It was blocked by my network’s filtering system so it didn’t affect me, but take heed of my warning to check reviews and download numbers before allowing extensions I didn’t mention here access to all of your browsing data.

Wrap Up

The most popular extension, by far, is BlockSite. The free version will block pornography, paid subscriptions will add additional features and may help to improve your productivity. It also offers additional installation options on desktop and mobile devices that can do more than just filter browser content. I’ll cover this more later in the series.

Whatever option you choose, it’s important to remember that this is only one piece of a much larger plan, and part of that plan is being honest and having frank discussions about the ramifications of pornography addiction in your life and the lives of those you love.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

The post Blocking Porn: Browsers – How to Decide? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Content Blockers on my Children’s Devices?

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Fri, 09 Sep 2022 20:21:47 +0000

Content blockers can impact the digital lives that kids lead.

They live on their phones: Discord, Snapchat, Instagram, YouTube, BeReal, and TikTok; incidentally the latter has surpassed YouTube for total viewing hours per month.

And, as parents, you know the promise of good content on the internet, but there’s a lot of content out there that is not meant for children.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

The Accidental Problem

It is not uncommon for children to be exposed to online pornography as young as 8 years old. This early exposure is often accidental.

If you put a content blocker on your child’s device, it is best to talk to them about it and why you are doing it.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Take the free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

Since most parents don’t talk to their kids about online pornography, kids don’t usually feel comfortable coming to mom or dad with what they saw online.

Newer research suggests that this early online pornography exposure is correlated with future problematic sexual behavior.

What Content Blockers do parents use?

Many choose to enable parental controls on phones or in apps directly to try to limit the type of content their children can either accidentally or intentionally access.

Many apps now have internal parental controls as do most phones and tablets. In addition, there are entire marketplaces full of services and apps that you can purchase to block content on your device. These apps range from locking things down nearly completely to simply alerting someone that a certain type of content has been accessed.

If you’re unfamiliar with sextortion, check out Dr. Jen’s article How to Protect Your Child from Sextortion.

Beyond Technology

If you plan to put a content blocker on your child’s device, it is best to talk to them about it and why you are doing it. These conversations and limitations need to be had and reassessed as your child ages; some of the guards can be lowered in an age-appropriate manner.

These conversations are more important than any technology, because you have no control over what your child is watching on their friend’s tablet or phone. Maybe they can’t access pornography on their phone but their friends might be able to, and kids frequently share what they see.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

The post Content Blockers on my Children’s Devices? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

4 Ways to Block Pornography

Mike — Wed, 07 Sep 2022 00:19:18 +0000

There are many ways to block pornography; from narrow, focused methods to broad, restrictive methods.

In this installment of the Blocking Porn series, I’m going to give you an overview of the ways to block porn and discuss how to select a method.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Categories of Blocking Control

Safe Search
DNS
Operating System Parental Controls
Software Solutions

What solution is right for you?

Block Pornography with Safe Search

This one is probably the narrowest and some may say the least effective, but it’s still helpful. Turning on safe search on search engines. All major search engines have a safe search feature that will automatically block results that have pornography, drugs, and/or hate speech.

Pros

Simple
Focused

Cons

Only stops results from coming up in search
Must be set up on each search engine

More about Safe Search here.

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

Block Pornography with DNS

DNS, or Domain Name System, solutions can cast a wide net for blocking pornography and other harmful materials on your entire network, though the setup can be a little daunting for those who aren’t particularly tech savvy.

Pros

Network wide solution
Very configurable, depending on solution
Can be free, with enough technical know-how

Cons

Only works when the devices are accessing the internet from your own connection
Can be very complex to set up
Costs could balloon as more devices are added to service

Blocking Pornography with Operating System Parental Controls

Most operating systems (Windows, MacOS, Apple iOS, Android, ChromeOS) come with some sort of parental controls built in. These can be very effective and cast a wide net.

Pros

Can watch what’s happening in browser and what apps are being run
Once it’s setup it’s usually good to go
Flexible and configurable

Cons

Can be time consuming to setup
Fiddly – May require setting up multiple accounts (parent/child accounts, etc.) or complex permissions

If you’re unfamiliar with sextortion, check out Dr. Jen’s article How to Protect Your Child from Sextortion.

Software Solutions

These will, generally, be paid solutions that will allow very fine control over permissions and access. Many of these options will allow you to restrict not just web content, but what apps can be used or installed on a machine.

Pros

Reliable and difficult to circumvent
Very fine-grain control

Cons

Usually, a subscription model
Often times specific to a single device

An intermediate software solution would be a browser, either modified to block pornography or dedicated strictly for the task. There’s more information in this post.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Take the free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

What solution is right for you?

There are a lot of factors that go into choosing the right access control solution:

Who are you trying to protect from pornography or other offensive materials?
Is it for you or someone else?
What’s your budget?
What’s your level of technical expertise?
What discussions or thoughts brought you to the decision to block pornography?

Typically, the best answer, is a mixture of a couple of the four categories above. In future installments of the series, we’ll dive into each category a bit deeper and provide some links for helpful resources and how to have discussions about restricting access.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

The post 4 Ways to Block Pornography first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

3 Reasons You Might Want to Block Porn

Mike — Tue, 30 Aug 2022 18:03:22 +0000

Why might you block porn?

You might want to block porn if you’re a parent of young children.
Pornography is a drain on time, money, and computers.
You or loved one has a compulsive desire to view pornography.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

You’re a Parent of Young Children

Give Your Kids a Chance to be Kids and Block Porn

We all know kids will get into things they shouldn’t, it’s part of growing up.

With no guidance it’s very easy for them to fall down the rabbit hole.

But with the right mindset, frequent, open discussions with them, and some technological barriers you can help your child navigate the pitfalls of adolescence, defining their own sexuality, AND the internet.

Pornography is a Drain on Time, Money, and Computers

Pornography has always been a pervasive presence on the internet. From the early days of newsgroups through the modern “work-from-home revolution” that OnlyFans has brought, it can be tough to escape.

Blocking pornography for yourself and/or your loved ones can have a lot of benefits:

Simply put you’ll utilize your time better if you don’t lose time being tempted by and indulging in an idle pass time.
You won’t be tempted to spend money on memberships to pornography sites.
You’ll avoid the hassle of potentially infecting your computer with malware.

There are lots of other reasons to avoid viewing pornography too. Risk of divorce. Desensitization. Erectile Dysfunction. Just to name a few.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Then take this free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

You Might Want to Block Porn if You or a Loved One Has a Compulsion

This one can be difficult, whether it’s you or a loved one.

If you recognize you have an addiction to online pornography it can be difficult to curb the behavior on your own. We’ll have some suggestions in future installments for handling this particular situation whether you’re truly alone in handling the compulsive behavior or whether you just need some tips in asking your significant other, partner, or parent for help.

If you know a loved one is compulsively viewing pornography it can be a difficult and frustrating conversation to have but having some technical solutions in hand will be helpful.

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

Pornography Induced Erectile Dysfunction

I know, I mentioned Erectile Dysfunction above, but it’s important enough that I felt I should mention it again. This is a subheading that could definitely be it’s own reason for curbing your mature material intake. Consuming too much erotica can have severe effects on your brain and the way your body responds to stimulus; I’m not the expert though, so I’ll let Dr. Jen explain the details of Pornography Induced Erectile Dysfunction (PIED).

Conclusion

There’s lots of reasons to want to block pornography, these are the most common in our experience, but, what reasons do you have for wanting to block pornography? Let us know in a comment below!

In future installments in the series, we’ll cover:

The technology to block pornography.
What IS pornography?
How to discuss viewing pornography with your spouse/partner/significant other.
How to bring up discussions with parents or guardians if you’re a teen needing help with pornography habits.
And more!

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

The post 3 Reasons You Might Want to Block Porn first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.