What really drives sexual desire? We often rely on a handful of common assumptions about age, gender, and relationships to answer this question. But what happens when we peel back the layers and look at the science behind sex drive?

A groundbreaking study from the Estonian Biobank provides some of the clearest answers to date, challenging much of our conventional wisdom.

By analyzing data from over 67,000 participants (N = 67,334), researchers uncovered a complex tapestry of unseen forces shaping who wants sex and why. This article shares the most counter-intuitive findings from this massive study that are changing our understanding of human libido.

The Gender Gap in Desire is Wider and More Persistent Than we Thought

The first force this study brings into sharp focus is gender.

While it’s no secret that men, on average, report higher sex drive than women, this research revealed the difference to be exceptionally large and consistent across the lifespan.

In fact, the effect size found was even larger than those documented in previous large-scale meta-analyses. η² = 0.18, a large effect size indicating that gender alone explained a substantial 18% of the difference in desire.

This robust finding underscores just how profound and persistent the influence of gender is on libido. The study’s authors highlight the sheer magnitude of this difference across different life stages:

“Even the peak of average woman’s sexual desire at ages around 20 to 30 remains lower than men’s average levels across much of adulthood. It is only after the age of 60 + that men’s declining sexual desire falls below the highest levels ever reported by women.”

Furthermore, the research showed that this gap in desire actually widens with age, reaching its peak in the 60+ age group.

Men’s Sex Drive Peaks Surprisingly Late

We’re often told that a man’s sex drive is like a rocket. Supposedly peaking in his late teens and slowly coming down.

This study, however, suggests it’s more of a long climb to a high plateau.

Contrary to popular belief, men’s sexual desire actually peaked around their late 30s to early 40s. This finding was particularly surprising because it runs counter to what we know about male biology.

The researchers noted the unexpected nature of this pattern:

“A noteworthy finding was that men’s sexual desire peaked around the age of 40, exceeding even early adulthood levels… This pattern is surprising because it does not align with the well-documented trajectory of testosterone decline…”

This suggests that factors beyond simple biology are at play.

The researchers propose that men in this age group “are more likely to be in stable long-term relationships, which have been associated with increased sexual activity and emotional intimacy.”

In another fascinating hypothesis, they suggest that as men get older, their “levels of desire may be starting to adapt to their partner’s declining levels of desire,” which could help explain the drop-off in later life.

Licensed Professional Counselors, do you need continuing education hours?

Look no further!

If you find this article interesting, Dr. Weeks’ course Sexual Education and Porn Use in Women, and her other unique courses, will engage and educate!

Parenthood Affects Men and Women’s Desire in Opposite Ways

One of the most fascinating unseen forces revealed by the study was how parenthood impacts libido differently for men and women.

For men, having more children was consistently associated with higher sexual desire. This effect grew stronger with each additional child, with the largest positive association found in fathers with five children. β = 0.43, indicating a strong positive association between fatherhood of five children and higher desire compared to mothers.

This stands in stark contrast to the experience of women, where the demands of parenthood are frequently linked to a decline in desire. A trend also suggested by the study’s data.

The researchers speculate that this opposing effect may reflect:

“…gendered differences in parental roles, stress levels, time availability, and energy investment within a family.”

They also offer a thought-provoking alternative explanation: it’s possible that “higher levels of desire may contribute to men having more children” in the first place, showing the complex relationship between cause and effect.

Single People May Actually Have a Higher Sex Drive

It’s often assumed that being in a committed relationship is the key to a healthy sex drive.

At first glance, the data seemed to support this, showing that partnered people had slightly higher desire on average. But when the researchers used a more powerful statistical lens, controlling for factors like age and gender, the picture flipped.

Partnered individuals actually reported lower sexual desire compared to their single counterparts. β = −0.10, a small but statistically significant effect suggesting that, all else being equal, being in a relationship was linked to a slight decrease in desire.

This surprising result challenges the idea that a relationship automatically sustains high desire. The study’s authors suggest this could be related to habituation in long-term partnerships, a phenomenon that “particularly for women, points to the potential for habituation and shifts in relational dynamics over time.”

In other words, the comfort of a long-term relationship may sometimes come at the expense of novelty.

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses?

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

Your Career Choice Could Be Linked to Your Libido

In perhaps the most novel finding, the study uncovered a remarkable link between a person’s occupation and their level of sexual desire. Simple averages suggested that people in manual-labor and military jobs had the highest libido, but the researchers quickly noted this was likely because those fields are dominated by younger men.

The real story emerged after controlling for factors like age and gender. The study then compared all occupations to a baseline group: senior managers. The results were clear:

• Lower Desire Occupations (Compared to Senior Managers): After accounting for other factors, nearly every other occupation was linked to significantly lower sexual desire. This effect was especially strong for elementary workers (β = -0.27), skilled workers and craftsmen (β = -0.19), and office and customer service workers (β = -0.16).

This highlights the often-overlooked connection between our professional lives, daily stress, and our personal well-being. It suggests that the pressures and routines of our jobs can be a powerful, hidden influence on our libido.

Conclusion: Rethinking What We Know About Sex Drive

This research paints a new picture where desire isn’t just a biological switch. It’s a dynamic outcome of a person’s age, gender, parental role, relationship status, and even their career.

The fact that these demographic and life factors alone could explain nearly 30% of the variance in sexual desire underscores just how profoundly they shape this fundamental human experience.

As we learn more about the complex web of factors that shape our desires, how might we change the conversations we have about sexuality in our own relationships?

Drop your thoughts in the comments.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The Study

Below is the study this post was based on for those who’d like to further explore these revelations about Sex Drive.

The post Sex Drive: 5 Surprising Facts from a 67k Person Study first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Protections for teens on Snapchat have been slow coming and lacking features of other social media competitors.¹

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Last week Snap Inc., Snapchat’s parent company, released a group of new features targeting 13-17 year olds on the platform. These new features are designed to create a “more age-appropriate viewing experience.”²

But what draws teens, drug dealers³, and those looking to sexually exploit teens to Snapchat?

The Myth of Security on Snapchat

Snapchat’s primary appeal is its perceived security.

Disappearing messages and images, combined with the gamification of “snap streaks,” makes the platform appealing to teens.

The former is also what draws people with untoward intent to Snapchat. The promise of being able to disappear.

The Anatomy of a Snap

Users can send texts, images from their camera roll, and images/videos taken with the app, known as snaps, within a conversation.

Unless texts, images, or snaps are saved to the chat, they disappear after viewing, or within 24 hours. Further, snaps can be set to disappear immediately after viewing, with the ability to view them a second time, or to be retained if the receiver saves the snap.

However, users can retain messages by saving them to the chat, taking a screenshot, or saving them to camera roll. The last two options will send a notification so the sender knows what’s happening with the content.

On the other hand, if a user uses a third-party application, not the built-in screenshot method, to record the screen, no notification will be sent. I bring this up to reinforce the fact that things that happen online can last forever.

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See the latest research on criminality related to social media:

• Social Anxiety and Loneliness in Online Solicitation Offenders

See more articles related to social media

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What are the New Features Protecting Teens on Snapchat?

• Safer Contact
  • In-App Warnings
    • A warning pops up if a teen adds someone who isn’t in their phone’s contacts and they don’t share enough mutuals with.
  • Stronger Friending Protections
    • Higher number of mutual friends before Snapchat recommends someone. As well as requiring a higher number of mutuals before allowing a friend request to happen.
• New Strike System for Accounts Promoting Age-Inappropriate Content
  • Content promoted by media organizations, verified creators, and random users is vetted to ensure age appropriateness. Violations result in content, then accounts being removed.
• Education About Common Online Risks
  • Informational productions created in conjunction with the National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE) and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) about:
    • Catfishing
    • Financial sextortion
    • Taking and sharing explicit images
    • And more

Accessible via parents.snapchat.com, a handy family center walks parents through the process of setting up an account for themselves and their children with both text and videos.

However, the protections offered are predicated on parents setting up a child’s account. If your child created an account without your knowledge, you’re out of luck.

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If you’re unfamiliar with sextortion, check out Dr. Jen’s article How to Protect Your Child from Sextortion.

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How do Other Social Media Apps Protect Teens?

YouTube and TikTok are the most used apps by teens. Occupying spots three and four are Instagram and Snapchat.⁴

I’ll quickly eliminate YouTube and TikTok. Because the former doesn’t have messaging, and the latter has limited messaging capabilities.

Instagram allows users to send text, pictures, and videos and has taken extra steps in utilizing AI to:

• Identify problematic accounts⁵
• Blur images that may contain “sensitive media”⁶

Both of these technologies are available to Snapchat, but aren’t utilized.

Protecting teens on Snapchat, particularly young girls, from unsolicited explicit images should be paramount.

“…adolescents often underestimate risks and perceive greater potential benefits from risky behavior.”

Smith, Chein, and Steinberg, 2014

Protecting Teens on Snapchat is Secondary to Profits

There is a fundamental disconnect between management and reality about how Snapchat is used. Beyond understanding its usage, particularly teens on Snapchat, executives don’t understand how users get their apps. When called before congress, Snap’s executives weren’t able to answer why their app is rated differently between devices and app stores.⁷

Furthermore, the measures designed to save teens from themselves are invasive. The in-app warnings require teens share their contact list with Snapchat. While this is an opt-in feature, it is still an invasion of privacy.

Matters that concern privacy should always be opt-in, especially for teens.

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Learn why it’s important for everyone, especially teens, to be able to control their online experiences. Dick Pic Culture: How do Teenage Girls Navigate it?

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Using AI for Fun and Profit

An artificial intelligence was released earlier this year, called “My AI.” It was marked for wide-release to all Snapchat accounts on February 27.

A journalist at the Washington Post created an account posing as a thirteen year old. The artificial intelligence engaged in discussions about sexual relationships and alcohol with that user.

Contrary to their guidelines, My AI wasn’t adjusted for age-appropriateness. Consequently, teens on Snapchat are now being exposed to explicit talk from peers, older people, and machines.

Again, Snap Inc seems more interested in “moving fast and breaking things” to capitalize on tech buzz than ensuring the safety of teens on Snapchat.

Separating Moral Panic from Reality to Protect Your Teens on Snapchat

Even though I’m not a fan of the business model of monetizing users against their will, I do believe that Snapchat can be a valuable outlet for teens.

Teens need to feel a sense of security and privacy to talk to their friends. They also need to be included in the now-integral to life social media experience.

But this doesn’t change the fact that teenagers are prone to taking risks without considering consequences.⁸ Fostering healthy emotional development starts at home.

Creating an open environment to discuss concerns and experiences starts long before your child asks for Snapchat. Put in the work as a parent, build mutual trust.

After you’ve formed that foundation, it’s much easier to give them freedom to explore safely.

And with your oversight.

TL/DR

• Snapchat needs to do more to protect teens and be a better steward of social media.
• Parents need to create an environment that fosters mutual trust.
• Teens need to feel free to explore and secure enough to ask for advice.
• Parents can visit parents.snapchat.com for more information about how Snapchat is helping them to protect their children.

References

1. Snap’s Dangerous New AI Risks Exposing Children to Sexual Exploitation and Abuse EndSexualExploitation.org ↩︎
2. Introducing New Safeguards to Protect our Community values.snap.com ↩︎
3. When one pill kills NBCNews.com ↩︎
4. Teens and social media: Key findings from Pew Research Center surveys PewResearch.org ↩︎
5. What’s Being Done to Protect Teens on Instagram and Messenger? DrJensRecoveryReadings.com ↩︎
6. Updates to the Sensitive Content Control about.instagram.com ↩︎
7. YouTube and Snapchat were asked to defend their apps’ age ratings in Senate hearing TechCrunch.com ↩︎
8. The Current Landscape of Adolescent Risk Behavior National Library of Medicine www.NCBI.NLM.NIH.gov ↩︎

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses? Then you should stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

The post New Efforts to Protect Teens on Snapchat first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

A popular assumption about people who engage in BDSM is that there must be some kind of psychological pathology underlying their kink. After all, the DSM-V lists some paraphilias, though it now distinguishes between a paraphilia and paraphilic disorder. But, is BDSM healthy?

More on Paraphilia versus Paraphilic Disorder

A paraphilia refers to a specific sexual interest that deviates from the culturally normative. It involves intense and recurrent sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors that revolve around non-human objects, non-consenting individuals, or activities causing suffering or humiliation. Examples of paraphilias include exhibitionism, voyeurism, fetishism, sadism, masochism, and pedophilia.

A paraphilic disorder, as defined in the DSM-V, is characterized by distress, impairment, or harm to oneself or others due to the presence of a paraphilia. While the presence of a paraphilia alone does not necessarily indicate a disorder, when it causes significant distress or harm or interferes with a person’s ability to function in daily life, it may be classified as a paraphilic disorder.

The distinction between a paraphilia and a paraphilic disorder lies in the impact of the condition on an individual’s well-being and functioning. A paraphilia becomes a paraphilic disorder when it causes distress, impairs interpersonal relationships, creates a risk of harm to oneself or others, or results in an inability to control or limit the behavior associated with the paraphilia.

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Check out the latest research on fetishes and criminality:

• Criminal Histories and Recidivism Rates for Juveniles Convicted of Child Pornography Possession

Read more articles about BDSM.

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The Study

A 2006 study by Connolly sought to address psychological functioning in BDSM practitioners in a rather thorough manner. The author recruited 132 BDSM practitioners from southern California to participate in the study.

The study asked them to answer a rather in depth battery of psychological assessments including the MMPI-2, MCMI, Beck Depression Inventory and many others. It assessed all manner of psychological issues, including trauma. The participants were also asked questions about their BDSM activities and preferred behaviors.

Struggling with excessive sexual thoughts, urges, or activities that are causing you distress? Take the free, online Sexual Symptom Assessment Scale (SSAS) and get a link to share with your therapist.

Did the study answer the question: Is BDSM Healthy?

The study found that across most psychological categories tested, BDSM participants scored similarly to the normative samples.

• Depression
  • The participants in this sample scored lower in depression than the normative sample
• Anxiety
  • The participants scored overall lower in anxiety than comparative groups
• PTSD & Trauma
  • PTSD scores on the MMPI-2 and MCMI – III were lower than the general population
• Dissociation
  • The participants scores were higher than the normative sample on the MDI scale
• Sadism & Masochism
  • The participants scored low on psychological sadism.
• Personality
  • The participants scored higher on narcissism than the norm and did not score higher than the norm on any other personality profiles.

Are you a Licensed Professional Counselor in need of continuing education? Learn more about Sex Addiction, Erotic Conflict, and Moral Incongruence from Dr. Weeks and Sexual Addiction Treatment Services, an NBCC ACEP™ approved provider!

Sexual Addiction Treatment Services has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7250. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Sexual Addiction Treatment Services is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.

So, Is BDSM Healthy?

The results indicated that the people in the study sample, BDSM practitioners from Southern California, were no different than the normative samples used on all of the assessment measures.

There was evidence for higher levels narcissism in the study population. There was also some evidence to suggest that this group had higher levels of narcissism than the normative sample as well. Additionally, the study participants did not have higher levels of trauma than the normative sample.

The authors conclude that there is “little support for the view that psychopathology underlies the behavior.”

Reference: Connolly, P. (2006). Psychological Functioning of Bondage/Domination/Sado-Masochism (BDSM) Practitioners. Journal of Psychology and Human Sexuality, DOI: 10.1300/JO56v18n01_05

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post Is BDSM Healthy or a Deviant Fetish? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

My reading over coffee this morning was a great article in Time Magazine about moving the US toward the primary prevention of child sexual abuse, a front page Wall Street Journal article about child predators using TikTok to gain access to victims and my first moderately threatening troll comments on a webinar on my YouTube page.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Primary Prevention vs Secondary Prevention

Let’s start with the Time Magazine article. This article, entitled America Has been going about stopping child sex abuse the wrong way, was written by Elizabeth Letourneau and Luke Malone.

Elizabeth Letourneau is the Director of the Moore Center for the Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse at John Hopkins. Luke Malone is an award winning journalist who writes about child sexual abuse and victimization.

Reading this article this morning felt very validating.

When I teach to LEO or other mental health professionals, I discuss how the US is very good at secondary prevention but not so good at primary prevention. Meaning, once we catch someone AFTER they have abused a child, the system is relatively good at holding them accountable. That includes: mandating treatment during incarceration and/or after while the person is on probation or parole.

This is secondary prevention. We work hard to prevent ANOTHER sexual assault from happening.

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses?

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

How should we do Primary Prevention?

Primary prevention, meaning we prevent the FIRST sexual assault from happening is not something our system is very good at.

Much of the teaching puts the onus on potential victims to stop potential assault rather than putting the responsibility on the abuser. This would be primary prevention.

Some other countries have done a better job at this and I point to Project Dunkelfeld in Germany. There, a person who is concerned they may offend against a child can call a program and receive treatment. The treatment program is publicly advertised and funded.

In the United States, for every $1 spent toward prevention research, $2700 is spent on incarcerating offenders. They also discuss current research projects that are working on ways of improving and increasing primary prevention in the US.

The authors have a book coming out at some point which I look forward to reading.

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Learn more about Primary Prevention and its benefits in these articles:

• How to do Primary Prevention and More
• Help for Minor Attraction
• Research: CSAM on the Dark Web
• You Are Not a Monster: Review of a Long Dark Shadow
• Search: Primary Prevention on Dr. Jen’s Recovery Readings

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Child Predators on TikTok

This app has made it big! They made it to the front page of the Wall Street Journal, a paper noted more for discussing financial markets than sexual abuse.

The WSJ featured an article discussing how TikTok has quickly become an avenue for child abusers to find and groom victims.

Those of us in the field have known this for some time.

It’s good to see it make the front page. Perhaps parents will read the article and start to monitor what their children are doing on the app. Frequently, there is little parental oversight on social media apps which leads some children to be vulnerable to predation.

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If you’re unfamiliar with sextortion, check out Dr. Jen’s article How to Protect Your Child from Sextortion.

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YouTube Trolls

Finally, to my first troll. I awoke this morning to some comments on a webinar on my YouTube channel about treating individuals with pedophilia. The comments were not surprising, but disappointing.

The person commented that I was an “intellectual” who should be “purged.” They made traditionally stereotypical comments about people who commit sex crimes needing to be beat up or killed. Though, in my mind, I made many replies, I have long ago learned that social media repartee with folks with strong but uninformed opinions goes nowhere.

So, to end my morning coffee, I simply reported them for making threats. Then I began my day of working in secondary prevention of sexual abuse.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses? Then you should stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

The post How to do Primary Prevention and More first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Welcome to the next installment of our series Blocking Porn: Browsers. This is just a small piece of advice for content blocking for the top 4 most popular¹ browsers and some privacy-oriented alternative browsers.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

As always, it’s important to have a conversation about WHY content is being blocked whether it’s for your friend, your partner, or your child. Installing this software without the user’s consent isn’t just malicious, it’s illegal in some jurisdictions.

Technology can’t replace healthy communication in a relationship, it’s merely a tool to help better our lives.

Chrome

Google’s Chrome browser owns almost two-thirds of the market and has great customization options. It is available across all common desktop and mobile platforms.

There are also a few drawbacks, including Google’s constant spying on everything you’re doing, but that’s a whole different discussion.

Extensions

The easiest way to block porn in Chrome is by using extensions. Google Chrome Extension Store

These are the top two recommended blockers:

• BlockSite
• Smart Internet Porn Filter from vRate

If you sign into your browser, your extensions will sync across your desktop devices. Meaning on PC, Mac, and ChromeBook all of your extensions SHOULD work. Chrome on iOS (iPhone/iPad) doesn’t support extensions and on Android support can be spotty. We’ll cover other options for blocking pornography on mobile devices in later installments in the series.

Alternate Search Engines

You aren’t required to use Google for search, even if you use Google’s Chrome browser. If you’ve set up Bing to be your safe search engine of choice, changing the default search engine is fairly straightforward. Instructions from Google.

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses?

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

Safari

Safari is the default browser on Apple devices, including Mac, iPhone, and iPad. It’s not available for PC, Linux, Android, or Chromebooks.

Just like with Chrome, and the next two browsers, Safari has the ability to add extensions to add functionality, including restricting access to certain types of sites. Safari DOES support syncing extensions, bookmarks, and other settings across all supported devices.

Extensions

The top recommended extension for Safari to block pornography is Porn Blocker Plus – for Safari, available in the App Store.

Alternatively, the top extension from Google’s Chrome has been ported to Safari’s extension eco system: BlockSite.

Edge

Microsoft’s Edge browser is available on all major desktop and mobile platforms and is built on the Chromium framework. This is the same framework that underpins Google’s own Chrome browser. As such, it has excellent support for extensions, because they don’t need to be completely re-written from Chrome.

Extensions

Edge’s extensions store, which is very similar to Chrome due to their sharing the same framework, is available here. Chrome’s top content blocking extension is available on Edge as well, BlockSite.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Take the free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

Firefox

Firefox is a unique browser, built by the Mozilla foundation. It’s a privacy-focused browser and the developers are very transparent in their operations. And it’s available for all major desktop and mobile platforms, and just like all the others has its own extension store.

Extensions

BlockSite is here again. Mozilla also recommends Impulse Blocker by raicem.

Special Note

In an effort to prevent browser extensions from peering over your shoulder, Firefox does not allow them access in Private browser windows by default.

To ensure your extensions are enabled in in-private windows:

1. Go to the Add-ons Manager
2. Click on the 3 dots of the extension you want to enable
3. Click manage
4. In details, select Allow for “Run in Private Windows”

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

Alternative Browsers

Brave

Brave, developed by Brave Software, Inc., is a privacy oriented, chromium based browser. It will block ads and trackers by default. Brave uses the Chrome web store for extensions. They also offer their own search engine, as the default option.

Iron

Developed by German company SRWare, the Iron browser is built on the Chromium framework with privacy and security in mind. It’s available for Windows, MacOS, Linux, and Android but is missing from iOS. While content filtering is not built into Iron, extensions are available.

Opera

Another Chromium-based browser solution with a unique user interface, Opera offers a wide variety of extensions, called addons in Opera, and themes to choose from. It’s available for Windows, MacOS, Linux, ChromeOS, Android, and iOS.

Other Tips

• To avoid the temptation of circumventing controls, uninstall all other browsers from the device.
• Make sure to check the settings of any installed extensions and ensure they’re enabled for private/incognito windows.
• Be careful of extensions that don’t have a lot of reviews or downloads; the extension stores aren’t well moderated.
• To function properly, extensions MUST access all of your browsing data, be sure to check the privacy policies of all extensions to see what they do with your data.

Anecdote: While writing this article I installed a Chrome filtering extension and got hit with pop-ups that tried to redirect me to install additional, known-malicious extensions. It was blocked by my network’s filtering system so it didn’t affect me, but take heed of my warning to check reviews and download numbers before allowing extensions I didn’t mention here access to all of your browsing data.

Wrap Up

The most popular extension, by far, is BlockSite. The free version will block pornography, paid subscriptions will add additional features and may help to improve your productivity. It also offers additional installation options on desktop and mobile devices that can do more than just filter browser content. I’ll cover this more later in the series.

Whatever option you choose, it’s important to remember that this is only one piece of a much larger plan, and part of that plan is being honest and having frank discussions about the ramifications of pornography addiction in your life and the lives of those you love.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

The post Blocking Porn: Browsers – How to Decide? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Maybe you’ve noticed that Google removed the popular “accountability” apps Covenant Eyes and Accountable2You from its Play store last week.

Maybe you haven’t, and that’s probably for the best.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

What are accountability apps?

These apps can filter undesirable content, such as pornography, and “other questionable material” from devices. More than just filtering, though, they offer to allow someone to be your accountability partner. They can send either immediate alerts or a digest of activity.

Having someone else hold you accountable in your efforts to be productive or curb a compulsive behavior sounds great, right?

Absolutely! If it’s done willingly.

Why were they removed?

And why is this article about Covenant Eyes on a blog about mental health?

During an investigation by Dhruv Mehrotra for Wired, it was discovered that the Android versions of these two apps used the accessibility features of Android devices. Accessibility features are intended to help those with hearing or vision impairments. Unfortunately, these apps used these features to monitor and report all device usage, even innocuous behavior.

That wouldn’t be an issue if your accountability partner is someone you have selected and trust, but therein lies the problem.

Covenant Eyes and Accountable2You have large outreach projects dedicated to getting churches to use the apps. In other words, to assist the churches in controlling and monitoring the behavior of parishioners under the guise of strict adherence to the church’s beliefs.

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses?

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

Consent versus Coercion

Threatening, pressuring, or strongly recommending, an individual consent to having their digital activities monitored is not consent.

More than just standard filtering and monitoring, Accountable2You also flags LGBTQIA+ content regardless of whether or not it is pornographic in nature. This is the “other questionable material” I referred to earlier. My issue is not that LGBTQIA+ material is blocked or flagged, but that any topic related to it is flagged in a similar fashion to hardcore pornography.

Pressuring people, vilifying them for whom they love, and monitoring all of their digital moves can create intense shame for the individuals being monitored. Particularly if they don’t conform to the heteronormative ideals of some religious organizations.

Shame encourages people to hide, withdraw, or turn to maladaptive coping mechanisms. Therefore, shame can make the initial behaviors worse. More about shame from Dr. Jen here and here.

Google has chosen to remove these apps from their store using violations of their technology policies because condemning them for violating users’ privacy rights is too political. Time will tell if Google steps up in favor of individual rights over appeasing a small but vocal and wealthy minority.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Then take this free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

What to do about Covenant Eyes after these revelations?

Broadly speaking, if you’re using an accountability app and you feel you were under duress when you selected your accountability partner, it’s time to re-evaluate that relationship and your continued use of the software.

If you still want to use one of these solutions on a non-Android platform, Windows, MacOS, or iOS, they are still available. You can still use them on Android because they can be “side-loaded” using instructions on the company websites.

If you would like a simple, straightforward filtering solution without the shame, check out BlockSite, for desktop and mobile devices.

For those of you who’d like accountability monitoring and filtering, I recommend EverAccountable, for desktop and mobile devices. EverAccountable also uses mental health friendly language in relation to how to handle slips and relapses.

An Important Note about Privacy

The Wired article referenced above also talked about third-parties having access to data from these apps. One, in particular, called Fortify was singled out because the company was cagey about revealing its third-party partners in its privacy policy and it sent the user’s password, along with other data, in plaintext to Facebook.

Transparency in a privacy policy is key and obfuscating passwords is Software Development 101. These kinds of mistakes call in to question the security of the entire app.

I did a quick read through of the privacy policies of both alternatives I mentioned above and saw no red flags, but I encourage you to read through them yourself.

• BlockSite privacy policy
• EverAccountable privacy policy

If you are part of the LGBTQIA+ community, local to the Lehigh Valley in Pennsylvania, and need support a great place to start is the Bradbury-Sullivan LGBT Community Center.

Need support and not local to the Lehigh Valley? Check out the LGBT National Help Center.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

The post Why did Google Remove Covenant Eyes? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Content blockers can impact the digital lives that kids lead.

They live on their phones: Discord, Snapchat, Instagram, YouTube, BeReal, and TikTok; incidentally the latter has surpassed YouTube for total viewing hours per month. 

And, as parents, you know the promise of good content on the internet, but there’s a lot of content out there that is not meant for children.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

The Accidental Problem

It is not uncommon for children to be exposed to online pornography as young as 8 years old. This early exposure is often accidental. 

If you put a content blocker on your child’s device, it is best to talk to them about it and why you are doing it.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Take the free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

Since most parents don’t talk to their kids about online pornography, kids don’t usually feel comfortable coming to mom or dad with what they saw online. 

Newer research suggests that this early online pornography exposure is correlated with future problematic sexual behavior.

What Content Blockers do parents use?

Many choose to enable parental controls on phones or in apps directly to try to limit the type of content their children can either accidentally or intentionally access. 

Many apps now have internal parental controls as do most phones and tablets. In addition, there are entire marketplaces full of services and apps that you can purchase to block content on your device. These apps range from locking things down nearly completely to simply alerting someone that a certain type of content has been accessed. 

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If you’re unfamiliar with sextortion, check out Dr. Jen’s article How to Protect Your Child from Sextortion.

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Beyond Technology

If you plan to put a content blocker on your child’s device, it is best to talk to them about it and why you are doing it. These conversations and limitations need to be had and reassessed as your child ages; some of the guards can be lowered in an age-appropriate manner. 

These conversations are more important than any technology, because you have no control over what your child is watching on their friend’s tablet or phone. Maybe they can’t access pornography on their phone but their friends might be able to, and kids frequently share what they see.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses?

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

The post Content Blockers on my Children’s Devices? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

There are many ways to block pornography; from narrow, focused methods to broad, restrictive methods.

In this installment of the Blocking Porn series, I’m going to give you an overview of the ways to block porn and discuss how to select a method.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Categories of Blocking Control

1. Safe Search
2. DNS
3. Operating System Parental Controls
4. Software Solutions

What solution is right for you?

Block Pornography with Safe Search

This one is probably the narrowest and some may say the least effective, but it’s still helpful. Turning on safe search on search engines. All major search engines have a safe search feature that will automatically block results that have pornography, drugs, and/or hate speech.

Pros

• Simple
• Focused

Cons

• Only stops results from coming up in search
• Must be set up on each search engine

More about Safe Search here.

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses?

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

Block Pornography with DNS

DNS, or Domain Name System, solutions can cast a wide net for blocking pornography and other harmful materials on your entire network, though the setup can be a little daunting for those who aren’t particularly tech savvy.

Pros

• Network wide solution
• Very configurable, depending on solution
• Can be free, with enough technical know-how

Cons

• Only works when the devices are accessing the internet from your own connection
• Can be very complex to set up
• Costs could balloon as more devices are added to service

Blocking Pornography with Operating System Parental Controls

Most operating systems (Windows, MacOS, Apple iOS, Android, ChromeOS) come with some sort of parental controls built in. These can be very effective and cast a wide net.

Pros

• Can watch what’s happening in browser and what apps are being run
• Once it’s setup it’s usually good to go
• Flexible and configurable

Cons

• Can be time consuming to setup
• Fiddly – May require setting up multiple accounts (parent/child accounts, etc.) or complex permissions

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If you’re unfamiliar with sextortion, check out Dr. Jen’s article How to Protect Your Child from Sextortion.

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Software Solutions

These will, generally, be paid solutions that will allow very fine control over permissions and access. Many of these options will allow you to restrict not just web content, but what apps can be used or installed on a machine.

Pros

• Reliable and difficult to circumvent
• Very fine-grain control

Cons

• Usually, a subscription model
• Often times specific to a single device

An intermediate software solution would be a browser, either modified to block pornography or dedicated strictly for the task. There’s more information in this post.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Take the free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

What solution is right for you?

There are a lot of factors that go into choosing the right access control solution:

• Who are you trying to protect from pornography or other offensive materials?
• Is it for you or someone else?
• What’s your budget?
• What’s your level of technical expertise?
• What discussions or thoughts brought you to the decision to block pornography?

Typically, the best answer, is a mixture of a couple of the four categories above. In future installments of the series, we’ll dive into each category a bit deeper and provide some links for helpful resources and how to have discussions about restricting access.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

The post 4 Ways to Block Pornography first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Why might you block porn?

1. You might want to block porn if you’re a parent of young children.
2. Pornography is a drain on time, money, and computers.
3. You or loved one has a compulsive desire to view pornography.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

You’re a Parent of Young Children

Give Your Kids a Chance to be Kids and Block Porn

We all know kids will get into things they shouldn’t, it’s part of growing up.

With no guidance it’s very easy for them to fall down the rabbit hole.

But with the right mindset, frequent, open discussions with them, and some technological barriers you can help your child navigate the pitfalls of adolescence, defining their own sexuality, AND the internet.

Pornography is a Drain on Time, Money, and Computers

Pornography has always been a pervasive presence on the internet. From the early days of newsgroups through the modern “work-from-home revolution” that OnlyFans has brought, it can be tough to escape.

Blocking pornography for yourself and/or your loved ones can have a lot of benefits:

• Simply put you’ll utilize your time better if you don’t lose time being tempted by and indulging in an idle pass time.
• You won’t be tempted to spend money on memberships to pornography sites.
• You’ll avoid the hassle of potentially infecting your computer with malware.

There are lots of other reasons to avoid viewing pornography too. Risk of divorce. Desensitization. Erectile Dysfunction. Just to name a few.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Then take this free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

You Might Want to Block Porn if You or a Loved One Has a Compulsion

This one can be difficult, whether it’s you or a loved one.

If you recognize you have an addiction to online pornography it can be difficult to curb the behavior on your own. We’ll have some suggestions in future installments for handling this particular situation whether you’re truly alone in handling the compulsive behavior or whether you just need some tips in asking your significant other, partner, or parent for help.

If you know a loved one is compulsively viewing pornography it can be a difficult and frustrating conversation to have but having some technical solutions in hand will be helpful.

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses?

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

Pornography Induced Erectile Dysfunction

I know, I mentioned Erectile Dysfunction above, but it’s important enough that I felt I should mention it again. This is a subheading that could definitely be it’s own reason for curbing your mature material intake. Consuming too much erotica can have severe effects on your brain and the way your body responds to stimulus; I’m not the expert though, so I’ll let Dr. Jen explain the details of Pornography Induced Erectile Dysfunction (PIED).

Conclusion

There’s lots of reasons to want to block pornography, these are the most common in our experience, but, what reasons do you have for wanting to block pornography? Let us know in a comment below!

In future installments in the series, we’ll cover:

• The technology to block pornography.
• What IS pornography?
• How to discuss viewing pornography with your spouse/partner/significant other.
• How to bring up discussions with parents or guardians if you’re a teen needing help with pornography habits.
• And more!

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

The post 3 Reasons You Might Want to Block Porn first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

The concept of pornography induced erectile dysfunction (PIED) has spurred movements such as NoFap, where men pledge to stop viewing pornography and masturbating to it. A quick Google or Ted Talk search will result in a number of sites or talks discussing pornography induced erectile dysfunction (PIED).

Despite there being quite a bit of support for these ideas and movements in some quarters, there is still a lack of scientific evidence that supports PIED.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Learn more about curbing your urges in our series on Blocking Porn.

The Study

A study published last year in the JMIR Public Health and Surveillance Journal by Jacob et al, was a collaboration between researchers and medical doctors that sought to study the issue.

The authors, in consultation with urologists, created a 118-item questionnaire that included demographic information, medical history, pornography consumption, masturbation frequency as well as the Cyber Pornography Addiction Test, International Index of Erectile Function and the Alcohol Use Disorders Identification test (AUDIT) which are all validated tests. The study participants were all in Denmark and Belgium and over 3400 individuals (aged 18 to 35) survey responses were used in the study. 

For me, some of the best parts of this study are the descriptive analyses. When talking about sex addiction or problematic sexual behavior, there is this assumption that we know what “normal” pornography use or masturbation is and from there can quantify abnormal. However, we really don’t have a lot of recent statistics on how much pornography people are using and how often they masturbate.  

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Then take this free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

Pornography, Masturbation, and Erectile Dysfunction

The study found that 84.9% of the men surveyed started to masturbate between the ages of 10 and 14 years old and more than 70% of these men masturbated multiple times a week. 98.98% of these men used pornography while they masturbated. The study found that the median age that the men started to masturbate to pornography was 13-14 years old. Most of these men (over 90%) skipped to the “best parts” of the pornography during masturbation and over 80% of them stated that an average pornography/masturbation session lasted between 5 and 30 minutes. For the men in this study, it is safe to say that masturbating to pornography would be considered normal. 

Erectile Dysfunction

The study found that over 21% of the men who were sexually active experienced some degree of erectile dysfunction. There was a statistically significant relationship between erectile dysfunction and how high the person scored on the cyber pornography addiction test, meaning individuals who had higher CYPAT scores also had higher levels of ED.

From a clinical perspective, there were several interesting findings. First, 61% of individuals who were sexually active and had some ED issues reported that they never had ED issues when they were masturbating to pornography. Second, 58% of individuals who started to masturbate to pornography before they were 10 years old had more ED issues.  

Summary of Results

1. How often someone viewed pornography did not have an impact on ED
2. How often someone masturbated did not affect ED
3. There was a significant relationship between ED and Pornography Addiction (as tested with the CYPAT)
4. Individuals who started to masturbate to pornography at a very young age, at or before 10 years old, had higher rates of ED.  
5. Other factors related to ED are experiencing performance pressure, relationship issues and identified sexual orientation. 

Struggling with excessive sexual thoughts, urges, or activities that are causing you distress? Take the free, online Sexual Symptom Assessment Scale (SSAS) and get a link to share with your therapist.

For me, there are two big takeaways from this study.

The first is that viewing and masturbating to pornography is a normal behavior for men in this age category. 

The second is that starting to view and masturbate to pornography at a young age has more detrimental effects than doing so at an older age.

This study provides more support for the need to talk to children about pornography and limit their access to pornography until they are older, and it is more developmentally appropriate. 

Since this post dealt more with validating the scientific concepts behind PIED I want to leave you with an informational resource if you’re struggling: Your Brain on Porn.  

Reference:  Jacobs T, Geysemans B, Van Hal G, Glazemakers I, Fog-Poulsen K, Vermandel A, De Wachter S, De Win G Associations Between Online Pornography Consumption and Sexual Dysfunction in Young Men: Multivariate Analysis Based on an International Web-Based Survey JMIR Public Health Surveillance Journal 2021;7(10):e32542 doi: 10.2196/32542

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

The post Pornography Use and Erectile Dysfunction first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.