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I am writing to you today from the annual conference of the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers (ATSA). 

Each year, in addition to traditional talks, there are poster presentations. Today, Marion Desfachelles, a Ph.D. student at the University of Montreal, presented a poster on her research on girls and sexting.

Background on Canadian Laws

Canada’s laws regarding teenage sexting are different from the US.

In Canada, sexting is divided into two categories, Primary and Secondary. 

1. Primary sexting is defined as sending or receiving sexually explicit content in a private context.
2. Secondary sexting is defined as distributing the image or video to the public.

The Supreme Court of Canada ruled this year that to establish an intimate photo exception to the juvenile pornography laws. This exception allows “two youths, who engage in lawful sexual activity, to consensually record their own lawful sexual activity as long as that recording is made or possessed for their personal use.”

In the US, two minors in this situation would face criminal penalties.

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Desfachelles’ Research

As most of the research on secondary sexting is focused on boys, Ms. Desfachelles wanted to look at how girls engage in primary or secondary sexting. To do this, she looked at the arrest records of 27 girls who were arrested or suspected to be involved in cases of juvenile pornography.

What did the study find? 

Girls are sometimes the primary sexter and the secondary victim, meaning a girl may have taken an image for a partner but it was then distributed outside the context of that relationship. Girls also distributed sexual imagery to others. 

An interesting finding was that the girls did acknowledge that sending these images would be hurtful to the victims, but the girls thought that the victims of the secondary sexting were responsible for the situation.

The study found three main motivations for secondary sexting:

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Learn more about Primary Prevention and its benefits in these articles:

• How to do Primary Prevention and More
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• Search: Primary Prevention on Dr. Jen’s Recovery Readings

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• The most common motivation was that of revenge or hurt.
• The other two motivations seen were goodwill and fun, meaning peer pressure. 

Boys continue to be most frequently the originators of the secondary sexting, but girls sometimes start the process and definitely participate in the secondary sexting.

We know that there is significant emotional damage to the victim of secondary sexting. 

Prevention campaigns often focus on not sexting at all. 

The author suggests that, as sexting is becoming a more normative behavior for teens, the prevention efforts be moved to focus on prevention of secondary sexting.

What can you do as a parent?

Help teens understand that they should keep something that was sent in the context of a relationship private. 

Teach teens about consent and that consent also applies to distribution of images sent with the expectation of privacy.

As always, parents should be talking to their children about sexting. 

We also need to expand our discussions about how, if their child does engage in sexting, they can do so in a safe and respectful manner and to understand the risks involved in sending an explicit image to another person.

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Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

The post Girls and Sexting first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

I have been working on a chapter in my new book, The New Age of Sex Education: How to talk to your teen about cybersex and pornography, that addresses the legal ramifications of sexting by minors. While pouring through juvenile sexting law, state by state, I have also been checking out another type of law that has recently made its way onto the legislative floor of some states: Revenge Porn Laws.

To say that everyone sexts today might be an exaggeration, but the reality is that sexting is not uncommon. Sexting among adults is seen as an acceptable practice. Daily, my Google news alert is filled with articles about sexting. Some are about the problems with some teen sexting scandal. The antithesis of these stories are intermingled in my daily news feed. Titles like: 5 fool proof tips to enhance your sexting game from the New York Post or Sexting 101: Best message to get him hot not bothered on Latina.

The messages are entirely counter to each other. Teens should not sext. It is dangerous. It is bad. They aren’t developmentally and emotionally capable to understand the ramifications. But as soon as you turn 18 it is just fine to send sexy texts to your partner. No matter what your moral position is on sexting, we do knowthat people in loving committed relationships do sext each other. People who are dating each other, maybe committed, maybe not, sext each other. Most of the time, this is a practice that can be used to enhance the courtship, flirtation or maintain the bond between two lovers.

What happens when the relationship goes south? What happens to those images once lovingly and voluntarily sent? The answer to that is … well it depends. When a relationship that has involved sexting goes bad, there is a danger. This is where revenge porn comes in. Revenge porn sites are websites that specialize in the posting of images from the sexy to straight out sex videos that were once consensual communications, posted after a break up. The sites change all the time as once they are up, something normally happens, such as an arrest or a law suit and they are taken down. Another site pops right up in its place thereafter.
The premise of revenge porn is that the poster is getting back at or hurting their ex by posting private sexual imagery. These sites have become more common over the past several years causing many states to enact legislation to make the posting of an image (we’re talking adults here as minors fall under other laws) without the other person’s knowledge illegal.

In the state of Pennsylvania (where I practice) a revenge pornography bill was passed by the state judiciary committee on January 2014. The law was amended by the house in June of 2014 and creates a provision under sexual offenses for the unlawful dissemination of an intimate image. A person breaks this law if they post an intimate image with the intent to harass, annoy or alarm a current or former sexual or intimate partner. The law applies to images of nudity as well as sexual conduct. The law does specify that the image is of a former partner which separates it from laws regarding voyeurism or acts such as up-skirting. The law also states that the victim may bring civil action against the perpetrator. The main problem with these laws is that many of the victims of revenge pornography posting do not knowthey are victims. They often find out when a friend or they come across the image.

For those of us who are adults, we all have the choice as to whether or not we wish to send sexual images to our partner via messaging or texting. It all seems grand when the relationship is in full bloom. What we don’t often think about is, “what if this relationship ends”? In our digital age, every digital action has a footprint that really can’t be erased.

So if you are going to sext, do so mindfully.

The post Revenge Porn: When Sexting Goes Bad first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.