Sexuality - Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings

Sex Drive: 5 Surprising Facts from a 67k Person Study

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Tue, 27 Jan 2026 13:00:00 +0000

What really drives sexual desire? We often rely on a handful of common assumptions about age, gender, and relationships to answer this question. But what happens when we peel back the layers and look at the science behind sex drive?

A groundbreaking study from the Estonian Biobank provides some of the clearest answers to date, challenging much of our conventional wisdom.

By analyzing data from over 67,000 participants (N = 67,334), researchers uncovered a complex tapestry of unseen forces shaping who wants sex and why. This article shares the most counter-intuitive findings from this massive study that are changing our understanding of human libido.

The Gender Gap in Desire is Wider and More Persistent Than we Thought

The first force this study brings into sharp focus is gender.

While it’s no secret that men, on average, report higher sex drive than women, this research revealed the difference to be exceptionally large and consistent across the lifespan.

In fact, the effect size found was even larger than those documented in previous large-scale meta-analyses. η² = 0.18, a large effect size indicating that gender alone explained a substantial 18% of the difference in desire.

This robust finding underscores just how profound and persistent the influence of gender is on libido. The study’s authors highlight the sheer magnitude of this difference across different life stages:

“Even the peak of average woman’s sexual desire at ages around 20 to 30 remains lower than men’s average levels across much of adulthood. It is only after the age of 60 + that men’s declining sexual desire falls below the highest levels ever reported by women.”

Furthermore, the research showed that this gap in desire actually widens with age, reaching its peak in the 60+ age group.

Men’s Sex Drive Peaks Surprisingly Late

We’re often told that a man’s sex drive is like a rocket. Supposedly peaking in his late teens and slowly coming down.

This study, however, suggests it’s more of a long climb to a high plateau.

Contrary to popular belief, men’s sexual desire actually peaked around their late 30s to early 40s. This finding was particularly surprising because it runs counter to what we know about male biology.

The researchers noted the unexpected nature of this pattern:

“A noteworthy finding was that men’s sexual desire peaked around the age of 40, exceeding even early adulthood levels… This pattern is surprising because it does not align with the well-documented trajectory of testosterone decline…”

This suggests that factors beyond simple biology are at play.

The researchers propose that men in this age group “are more likely to be in stable long-term relationships, which have been associated with increased sexual activity and emotional intimacy.”

In another fascinating hypothesis, they suggest that as men get older, their “levels of desire may be starting to adapt to their partner’s declining levels of desire,” which could help explain the drop-off in later life.

Licensed Professional Counselors, do you need continuing education hours?

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If you find this article interesting, Dr. Weeks’ course Sexual Education and Porn Use in Women, and her other unique courses, will engage and educate!

Parenthood Affects Men and Women’s Desire in Opposite Ways

One of the most fascinating unseen forces revealed by the study was how parenthood impacts libido differently for men and women.

For men, having more children was consistently associated with higher sexual desire. This effect grew stronger with each additional child, with the largest positive association found in fathers with five children. β = 0.43, indicating a strong positive association between fatherhood of five children and higher desire compared to mothers.

This stands in stark contrast to the experience of women, where the demands of parenthood are frequently linked to a decline in desire. A trend also suggested by the study’s data.

The researchers speculate that this opposing effect may reflect:

“…gendered differences in parental roles, stress levels, time availability, and energy investment within a family.”

They also offer a thought-provoking alternative explanation: it’s possible that “higher levels of desire may contribute to men having more children” in the first place, showing the complex relationship between cause and effect.

Single People May Actually Have a Higher Sex Drive

It’s often assumed that being in a committed relationship is the key to a healthy sex drive.

At first glance, the data seemed to support this, showing that partnered people had slightly higher desire on average. But when the researchers used a more powerful statistical lens, controlling for factors like age and gender, the picture flipped.

Partnered individuals actually reported lower sexual desire compared to their single counterparts. β = −0.10, a small but statistically significant effect suggesting that, all else being equal, being in a relationship was linked to a slight decrease in desire.

This surprising result challenges the idea that a relationship automatically sustains high desire. The study’s authors suggest this could be related to habituation in long-term partnerships, a phenomenon that “particularly for women, points to the potential for habituation and shifts in relational dynamics over time.”

In other words, the comfort of a long-term relationship may sometimes come at the expense of novelty.

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Your Career Choice Could Be Linked to Your Libido

In perhaps the most novel finding, the study uncovered a remarkable link between a person’s occupation and their level of sexual desire. Simple averages suggested that people in manual-labor and military jobs had the highest libido, but the researchers quickly noted this was likely because those fields are dominated by younger men.

The real story emerged after controlling for factors like age and gender. The study then compared all occupations to a baseline group: senior managers. The results were clear:

Lower Desire Occupations (Compared to Senior Managers): After accounting for other factors, nearly every other occupation was linked to significantly lower sexual desire. This effect was especially strong for elementary workers (β = -0.27), skilled workers and craftsmen (β = -0.19), and office and customer service workers (β = -0.16).

This highlights the often-overlooked connection between our professional lives, daily stress, and our personal well-being. It suggests that the pressures and routines of our jobs can be a powerful, hidden influence on our libido.

Conclusion: Rethinking What We Know About Sex Drive

This research paints a new picture where desire isn’t just a biological switch. It’s a dynamic outcome of a person’s age, gender, parental role, relationship status, and even their career.

The fact that these demographic and life factors alone could explain nearly 30% of the variance in sexual desire underscores just how profoundly they shape this fundamental human experience.

As we learn more about the complex web of factors that shape our desires, how might we change the conversations we have about sexuality in our own relationships?

Drop your thoughts in the comments.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The Study

Below is the study this post was based on for those who’d like to further explore these revelations about Sex Drive.

associations-of-sexual-desire-with-demographic-and-relationship-variables Download

The post Sex Drive: 5 Surprising Facts from a 67k Person Study first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Kink Communities: Beyond the Stereotypes

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Tue, 16 Dec 2025 13:00:00 +0000

A Major UK Study Reveals Some Surprising Facts About Kink Communities

Media portrayals of niche sexual interests like BDSM, pet play, and furries often lean into sensationalism, painting participants as psychologically deviant or driven by singular, extreme fetishes. These stereotypes, while dramatic, rarely reflect the lived experiences of people within these communities. This leaves a significant gap between public perception of kink communities and reality.

A recent scientific investigation, “A Survey of the United Kink-dom,” offers a rare, data-driven look into these worlds. Published in The Journal of Sex Research, this study surveyed 470 UK-based participants involved in five distinct interest groups:

BDSM
Age play
Pet play
Furries
Balloon fetishists

The research provides one of the most comprehensive datasets to date on the demographics, psychology, and behaviors of these communities.

This article distills the five most surprising and stereotype-busting findings from this rigorous research. By moving past the hype and focusing on the evidence, we can begin to build a more nuanced and accurate understanding of kink communities and their members.

1. Most People Are Into More Than One Thing

Contrary to the idea that people belong to distinct and separate fetish groups, the study found a very high degree of overlapping interests. The data shows that having a single, isolated interest is actually the exception, not the rule.

Only 19% of the 470 participants reported having just one of the five paraphilic interests investigated. The majority had two (37.8%) or three (31.5%).

This finding is significant because it suggests these interests are not isolated quirks. They are often part of a broader exploration of non-normative identity and sexuality. The researchers identified specific patterns of co-occurrence.

For instance, there was a strong link between pet play and furry interests. This makes sense due to their shared themes of animal personification. Similarly, BDSM, which is defined by power dynamics, showed significant overlap with pet play. This is another of the groups in the study that centrally involve power exchange roles.

Check out the latest research on fetishes and criminality:

Criminal Histories and Recidivism Rates for Juveniles Convicted of Child Pornography Possession

2. Kink Communities Deviate Sharply from Population Norms

When the researchers compared their sample to UK national statistics on sexual orientation and relationship styles, they found dramatic differences.

Across all five groups studied, participants reported significantly lower levels of heterosexual identity and much higher rates of gay/lesbian and bisexual identities than the general population.

For example, while 94.6% of the UK population identifies as heterosexual, the rate within the BDSM group was just 37.8%.

The study also found substantially higher rates of non-monogamy compared to population estimates. A 2.4% rate from a representative Canadian sample was used as a benchmark in the absence of equivalent UK data.

This finding supports a growing body of research suggesting these communities often function as welcoming spaces for individuals whose identities and relationship models are marginalized elsewhere. The study’s authors summarize the scale of this difference concisely:

Findings demonstrated groups differed significantly from population patterns of sexual orientation and relationship style, with effect sizes for these comparisons being large.

3. The “Psychopathic Dominant” is a Myth

A persistent and damaging stereotype suggests that individuals who enjoy dominant roles in BDSM must harbor “darker” personality traits. These traits inlcude:

Narcissism
Machiavellianism
Psychopathy

This idea pathologizes practitioners by linking consensual power exchange with antisocial characteristics.

The “United Kink-dom” study directly tested this hypothesis by measuring these “Dark Triad” traits across different BDSM role identities:

Dominant
Submissive
Switch (individuals who enjoy both roles)

The results were definitive: there were no significant differences in Dark Triad traits based on BDSM role.

People who identified with dominant roles did not score higher on measures of Machiavellianism, narcissism, or psychopathy than those in submissive or switch roles. This finding provides strong empirical evidence that debunks a harmful myth and supports previous research showing that BDSM practitioners generally have mental health profiles comparable to the general population.

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4. The Study Found Little Support for the Most Damaging Stereotypes in Kink Communities

The study carefully and sensitively investigated the most stigmatizing stereotypes the links between

Age play and pedophilia
Pet play/furries and zoophilia

The researchers’ goal was to see if these consensual adult role-playing activities were being used as a substitute for harmful, non-consensual interests.

The findings were more complex than a simple “myth-busted” headline would suggest.

For age play, the data showed that the vast majority of participants did not report any pedophilic arousal. However, a minority (14.1%) did report some level of arousal to pedophilic fantasy.

The researchers provide crucial context, noting that while their data “largely does not support stereotypes,” this rate of self-reported arousal is higher than the estimated prevalence of pedophilia in the general population (up to 5%).

A similar pattern emerged for pet play and furries within Kink Communities.

While most participants in these groups expressed “repulsion” to the idea of sex with animals, a minority reported some arousal to zoophilic fantasy (23.6% of pet players and 28.9% of furries).

Again, the researchers note that these rates are higher than the general population estimate for zoophilia (up to 8%).

For the overwhelming majority, consensual adult role-play is distinct from harmful acts, but the data reveals a nuanced reality that defies simple caricature.

5. Kink Can Be a Non-Sexual Identity

A common assumption is that participation in kink communities is always and exclusively about sexual gratification. However, the study’s data challenges this idea, revealing that for many, these interests are a multifaceted part of their identity that isn’t always tied to sex.

A significant minority of participants, particularly among pet players and furries, reported that they did not pair their interests with sexual acts.

Across the groups, “10–35% reported never pairing this with sex,” with furries (35.1%) and pet players (26.7%) being the most likely to engage non-sexually. Furthermore, when asked how much they viewed their interest as part of their “sexual orientation,” the study found a “bimodal distribution.”

This means participants tended to answer at the extremes: many saw it as absolutely central to their sexual identity, while many others saw it as not at all important.

This highlights that for a substantial portion of these communities, the appeal is not primarily sexual. Instead, it lies in social connection, psychological expression, and creative world-building – crystallized in practices like developing a detailed “fursona,” or animal character, which can be entirely separate from sexual gratification.

A More Complex Picture of Kink Communities

The “A Survey of the United Kink-dom” study provides a powerful, evidence-based counter-narrative to the prevailing stereotypes about kink communities.

The findings paint a picture of a world that is far more diverse, psychologically comparable to the general population, and less pathological than often portrayed.

It reveals communities that are highly interconnected, disproportionately queer and non-monogamous, and driven by a wide range of motivations that often extend well beyond sex.

This research underscores that the lived reality of people with non-normative sexual interests is more complex and far more human than caricature allows. As data replaces caricature, the central question is no longer if these communities are pathological, but how their complex networks of identity, creativity, and non-normative relationships challenge our broader cultural definitions of sexuality itself.

Be Part of the Kink Community Conversation

Do you participate in a kink community? How do you view kink communities? Drop a comment below and tell me about your non-explicit experiences!

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post Kink Communities: Beyond the Stereotypes first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Kinks and Fetishes: 4 Surprising Scientific Truths

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Fri, 05 Dec 2025 13:00:00 +0000

When you think of kinks, fetishes, and paraphilias they probably exist in a space of mystery and sensationalism. They can evoke images of fringe behaviors or clinical disorders. They seem like topics more suited for dramatic television than for serious discussion.

But as with many aspects of human experience, the scientific understanding of atypical sexuality offers a far more nuanced and surprising perspective. One that challenges deep-seated assumptions about what is “normal.”

Crucially, modern psychology and psychiatry draw a clear line. Paraphilia is an atypical sexual interest. A paraphilic disorder is a diagnosable condition that causes significant personal distress or involves harm to non-consenting individuals.

This distinction is the foundation for a more accurate and compassionate conversation.

A 2022 study published in the Journal of Criminal Justice provides compelling insights into this landscape. While it explores prevalence, its core contribution is an analysis of the complex developmental pathways that lead to these interests. This article distills the most impactful takeaways from that research.

1. Kinks & Fetishes No More! Atypical Sexual Interests Are Far More Common Than You Think

One of the most significant findings from the research is that many kinks, or paraphilic interests, are far more widespread than generally believed.

The study investigated 24 different paraphilic interests in a nonclinical sample of adults and concluded that a majority were “neither rare, nor unusual.”

This suggests that having an interest in things like fetishism or masochism is not an automatic sign of a fringe deviation. This finding aligns with previous research.

For example, a 2017 study by Joyal & Carpentier found that a remarkable 45.6% of individuals reported having at least one paraphilic fantasy. Crucially, that same study found that only 33.9% reported engaging in at least one paraphilic behavior.

The significance of this is profound:

It challenges the idea that such interests are inherently abnormal. It underscores why simply having a paraphilia is not considered a disorder. Instead of being isolated phenomena, these interests are a common part of the broad spectrum of human sexuality.

2. There’s a Critical Difference Between Fantasy and Arousal

While we now know these fantasies are common, it’s equally important to understand that a fantasy is not a blueprint for action.

In fact, the research reveals a crucial gap between our inner world and our real-world arousal.

The study found a significant difference between sexual fantasy and sexual arousal, noting “a majority of self-reported arousal being lower than fantasy.” In other words, just because a person fantasizes about something doesn’t mean it arouses them in reality, let alone that they would ever act on it.

The researchers emphasize this point to distinguish between internal thoughts and external behaviors.

The presence of atypical sexual fantasies is not necessarily indicative of a paraphilic behavior.

This distinction is vital for reducing stigma. Understanding that a person’s private fantasies do not automatically translate to their real-world desires or behavior is key. We can have more informed and less judgmental conversations about sexuality.

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

3. The Official Line Between “Normal” and “Deviant” Is Blurry and Keeps Changing

For decades, clinicians have struggled to draw a clear, objective line between “normal” and “paraphilic” sexual interests.

The study notes that a “key problem with the DSM classification… is primarily based on descriptions of symptoms and behaviours instead of the underlying causes.”

What constitutes an ‘unusual’ sexual behavior is not always clear because our standards are not fixed; they are shaped by social forces. As the paper states, “Beliefs about what is morally and socially acceptable and unacceptable shifts across cultures and over time.”

The evolution of the DSM itself provides a perfect example.

The source notes, “To encompass that some individuals might engage in atypical sexual behaviours without being labelled with a mental disorder, the DSM-5 has clarified the distinction between paraphilia […] and paraphilic disorder.” This recent change is part of a long history of shifting definitions.

A powerful historical example illustrates this perfectly. Until 1973, the DSM classified homosexuality as a sexual deviation right alongside sadism and masochism.

This demonstrates that our definitions of sexual ‘normalcy’ are heavily influenced by social context, not objective science.

4. The Path From Childhood Trauma to Paraphilia Is Indirect

While a link between childhood trauma and the development of kinks, or atypical sexual interests, is known, this study reveals the relationship is not a simple, direct cause-and-effect.

Using a method called mediation analysis, the researchers found that the connection is more complex and is mediated by other factors.

In simpler terms, childhood trauma doesn’t directly cause paraphilic arousal. The study found that its influence is channeled through other issues that may arise from the trauma, such as hypersexuality (an unusually intense sex drive), problematic pornography consumption, and the development of certain personality traits. These intervening factors are what more directly connect the early trauma to later sexual interests.

The study’s abstract summarizes this developmental pathway powerfully:

Abuses during childhood are the starting point of an over-involvement in sexuality, which increase the likelihood of developing atypical sexual interest or behavior.

This shift from a simple A-to-B link to a complex web of influences is critical.

It moves our understanding away from a simplistic and stigmatizing ‘broken by trauma’ narrative toward a more compassionate and accurate developmental model, opening the door for more effective and targeted interventions.

A Final Thought About Kinks

The research paints a clear picture: what happens in our minds is a vast and common part of the human experience (Points 1 & 2).

The labels we use to pathologize it are often social constructs that are constantly evolving (Point 3), and the developmental pathways that lead to these interests are far more complex than simple narratives of trauma suggest (Point 4).

By moving past sensationalism, we can begin to see a more accurate and human landscape.

As our understanding evolves, how can we foster conversations about sexuality that are guided more by empathy and evidence, and less by outdated stigmas?

Are you exploring your trauma? Do you feel your childhood experiences were detrimental to your current mental or physical health? Utilize this free, validated, self-report questionnaire to find out.

Take the Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) Questionnaire

Are you a Licensed Professional Counselor seeking engaging, unique Continuing Education courses? Dr. Weeks offers accredited courses on her practice website on the effects of Pornography Abstinence and other unique topics!

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

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Who REALLY Watches Porn? 4 Surprising Truths

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Tue, 04 Nov 2025 13:00:00 +0000

When we think about who watches pornography, stereotypes often paint a simple, one-dimensional picture.

These assumptions, however, are largely based on older research that relied on self-report surveys, a method notoriously prone to bias when dealing with a stigmatized topic. What happens when you set aside what people say they do and instead look at what they actually do online?

A massive new study did just that. Using objective, anonymized web-tracking data from 1,933 individuals across five countries, researchers identified 392 pornography consumers, providing one of the most accurate and nuanced portraits of this group to date.

The results challenge many deeply held beliefs about age, gender, politics, and online behavior.

This article distills the four most counter-intuitive truths from this groundbreaking research, revealing a reality that is far more complex and fascinating than the stereotypes suggest.

1. Viewers Are Creatures of Habit, Not Explorers

The internet seems to offer an endless buffet of adult content, leading to the belief that pornography use is a relentless quest for novelty. The data, however, paints a picture not of explorers, but of creatures of habit.

The study found that consumption is highly concentrated on a few dominant platforms, such as Pornhub, Xvideos, and Xhamster.

The most surprising statistic revealed a strong sense of brand loyalty and routine. Approximately 46% of users visited only a single, unique adult website during the entire three-month study period.

This behavior suggests that for nearly half of all viewers, pornography is less about exploration and more about visiting a familiar, trusted source.

As the researchers note:

This suggests that pornography consumption is not as exploratory as assumed but rather characterized by routine engagement with familiar providers.

This finding is significant because it reframes consumption as a routine online habit, much like checking a favorite news site or social media platform, rather than a relentless quest for new stimulation.

2. It’s Not Just a Young Person’s Game

Conventional wisdom says porn is a young person’s fixation, a habit that fades with age.

The data shows this is simply not true.

Objective tracking reveals that pornography consumption is common across all age groups. It goes from young adulthood well into the 60s and beyond.

The data shows a clear trend, with consumption peaking among people in their 30s before seeing its most pronounced decline after age 60.

However, the study’s key takeaway is that these variations between most adult age groups aren’t large enough to be statistically significant. This means, for the most part, engagement remains remarkably stable throughout adulthood.

Licensed Professional Counselors, do you need continuing education hours?

Look no further!

If you find this article interesting, Dr. Weeks’ course Sexual Education and Porn Use in Women, and her other unique courses, will engage and educate!

Pornography isn’t just a phenomenon of the “digitally native” youth. It’s an integrated part of online habits for a wide and diverse range of adults.

3. Political Ideology is Surprisingly Irrelevant

In a hyper-partisan world, it’s easy to assume our media habits, even private ones, fall along political lines. But when it comes to pornography, a person’s political ideology is surprisingly irrelevant.

When researchers compared who watches porn and non-watchers based on their self-reported political ideology on a scale from left to right, they found no statistically significant difference between the two groups.

In simple terms, knowing a person’s political leaning gives you no predictive power in guessing whether or not they consume pornography. The user base is ideologically diverse and spans the entire political spectrum.

But the research did uncover an interesting twist. While personal ideology didn’t matter, media consumption habits showed a small but statistically significant difference. The study found pornography users tended to have slightly more centrist and balanced partisan media diets compared to non-users.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Take the free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

4. The Gender Gap is More Complicated Than You Think

One stereotype the data confirms is men are the primary consumer of pornography.

But that’s where the simplicity ends.

Digging into the web-tracking data revealed crucial nuances, showing female engagement is “more substantial than previously estimated” and challenging the idea of pornography as an exclusively male domain. This was especially clear when looking at cross-country variations.

In Spain, for example, women constitute nearly 30% of pornography users.

The study hypothesizes this may be linked to the country’s significant progress in gender equality, such as being the first nation to create a Ministry of Equality in 2004 and the third to legalize same-sex marriage in 2005, suggesting cultural shifts can directly influence female consumption patterns.

The study also produced fascinating data on same-sex content.

It found that 16.5% of male users watched gay pornography. A figure significantly higher than the 5-10% of men who typically identify as gay or bisexual in surveys.

This complexity extends to lesbian content, which the study found was consumed by a higher percentage of male users (15.4%) than female users (9.4%), further challenging simple assumptions about consumption, gender, and sexual orientation.

Conclusion

The objective, behavioral data from this study makes one thing clear: the reality of pornography consumption is far more complex, habitual, and ideologically diverse than common stereotypes suggest.

It is a widespread digital behavior that cuts across demographics in ways we are only just beginning to understand.

As objective data continues to pull back the curtain on our private digital lives, what other deeply held assumptions about human behavior will be the next to fall?

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Are you looking for more reputable, data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post Who REALLY Watches Porn? 4 Surprising Truths first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Overthinking and Porn Use: How Gender Shapes a Vicious Cycle

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Tue, 21 Oct 2025 12:00:00 +0000

The Hidden Dialogue Between Our Minds and Our Habits

The scale of online pornography consumption is immense. In 2023, two of the largest pornography websites, Xvideos and XNXX, had more total visits than TikTok, one of the world’s most popular social media platforms. But beyond the sheer numbers, what is the internal experience of this habit? What is the relationship between porn use and how we think about our lives, our feelings, and ourselves?

New research reveals a surprisingly complex, two-way relationship between what scientists call problematic pornography use (PPU) and “rumination,” or the act of overthinking.

This groundbreaking study shows not only that the behavior can influence our thought patterns, but also that our specific style of thinking can, in turn, either escalate the problem or potentially help us escape it.

Crucially, this connection works very differently for men and women.

First, a Quick Primer: What Are “Problematic Use” and “Rumination”?

Before diving into the findings, let’s clarify the two key concepts. We’re not judging habits, but trying to understanding specific psychological patterns.

What is Problematic Pornography Use (PPU)?

PPU is not defined by how often someone watches pornography. Instead, it is characterized by a loss of control.

The official definition describes it as “poorly controlled, excessive, and/or compulsive engagement in pornography use, accompanied by significant distress and impairments in life,” such as losing a job or damaging relationships.

What is Rumination?

Simply put, rumination is the act of continuously focusing on one’s own negative thoughts and feelings.

However, not all rumination is the same.

Researchers have found that it comes in two distinct flavors: Brooding and Reflection.

Understanding this difference is essential to making sense of the study’s findings.

As professionals, our time is valuable. Dr. Weeks created the Mitigation Aide Research Archive because there isn’t enough focused, data-backed research available in easily digestible formats.

Takeaway 1: Problematic Porn Use Fuels Overthinking But Differently for Men and Women

The study, which followed 2,786 adults over one year, initially found that higher levels of PPU predicted more ruminative thinking (both brooding and reflection) a year later for everyone. This supports the “stress-reactive model,” suggesting the stress, guilt, or life problems from PPU can trigger more repetitive thinking.

However, the researchers dug deeper and uncovered a crucial distinction.

For men, the link was robust: the problematic nature of their use, the loss of control and distress, was a strong predictor of increased rumination down the line, regardless of how frequently they viewed porn.

For women, the story was different.

When researchers statistically controlled for the sheer frequency of pornography use, the link between PPU and later rumination weakened or disappeared entirely.

This suggests that for women, it may be the high frequency of viewing itself, rather than the “problematic” aspect, that is more closely tied to an increase in later overthinking.

Takeaway 2: For Women, Brooding Can Create a Vicious Cycle

When researchers looked at how thinking patterns affected behavior over time, a key gender difference emerged. For women, a specific type of rumination, brooding, was linked to an increase in problematic use down the line. The study found that higher levels of brooding at the start were associated with higher levels of PPU one year later.

Brooding is generally regarded as a more maladaptive form of rumination, which is defined as:

Adopting a passive and introspective demeanor that evaluates current circumstances against an unrealized, idealized standard, accompanied by a sense of regret and dissatisfaction.

This passive, self-critical style is captured in the very questions researchers used to measure it. Such as:

“Why do I always react this way?”
“Why can’t I handle things better?“

According to the cognitive-behavioral model, this style of thinking can exacerbate negative emotions like anxiety and stress. Women may then engage in the problematic behavior to cope with these painful feelings. Thus, creating a dangerous feedback loop where the thinking pattern fuels the habit that causes the distress.

Takeaway 3: For Men, Reflective Thinking May Act as a Protective Shield

The most counter-intuitive finding came from the data on men. For them, a different type of rumination—reflection—appeared to be a protective factor.

The study revealed that higher levels of reflective thinking at the start were associated with lower levels of PPU a year later. Reflection is seen as a more adaptive and constructive form of thinking. Its scientific definition is:

Reflection, a purposeful and active cognitive process, involves accepting and understanding distress and feelings to engage in effective coping mechanisms.

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

Why would this type of overthinking be helpful in relation to Porn Use?

The researchers hypothesize that because men report higher rates of PPU and its negative consequences, they may become more motivated to fix the problem. This motivation could trigger a more problem-solving style of thought.

As the researchers suggest, “men may be motivated to disrupt this pattern and regain control over their problematic behavior… Such a response could potentially be associated with engaging in a more problem-solving-focused type of rumination (i.e., reflective rumination), resulting in reduced PPU.”

Conclusion: It’s Not That You Think, But How You Think

The relationship between porn use and our thought patterns is not simple. This research shows that it is a complex, bidirectional cycle that differs significantly by gender. For both men and women, pornography use can be linked to more negative, repetitive thinking.

But the reverse is where the crucial distinction lies.

For women, a passive, self-critical “brooding” can trap them in a cycle, making the problem worse.

For men, an active, problem-solving “reflection” may be a key to breaking free.

The ultimate takeaway is that when it comes to the link between our thoughts and our habits, it may not be that you think, but how you think that truly matters.

This leaves us with a powerful, forward-looking question: If the way we reflect on our behaviors can either trap us in a cycle or help us break free, what does that mean for our ability to consciously change our habits?

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses? Then you should stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

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The post Overthinking and Porn Use: How Gender Shapes a Vicious Cycle first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

A Study on “No Fap” for Women?

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Tue, 18 Mar 2025 13:45:19 +0000

Most often, when we talk about online communities for abstinence from pornography and masturbation, such as No Fap, we are talking about men.

Online forums purporting abstinence, particularly Reddit, are a predominantly male space. So, where do the women go?

While we know men more often report problematic sexual behavior than women, women do still struggle with PSB issues. Where is their safe space? A recent study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior recently addressed this question.

A No Fap Study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior

The authors analyzed the posts from a women-only online forum called Porn Free Women.

Porn Free Women was developed because most pornography abstinence online spaces are dominated by men and many women did not feel comfortable or accepted participating in them.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Take the free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

Therapeutic, Empowerment and Heteronormative

The analysis of the discussions revealed 16 predominant topics that fell within three themes:

Therapeutic
Empowerment
Heteronormative

Half of the discussions fit the therapeutic theme. Pornography abstinence was discussed as overcoming adversity through healing and transformation. Here pornography was seen as addictive.

Over a quarter of the posts fit into the heteronormative theme. The discussions involved romantic relationships, identity anxiety and ideas of being a “real” woman.

The empowerment theme emphasized female empowerment and agency in building a supportive community to promote well-being.

Many of the women in the forum identified with the philosophy of pornography addiction.

Unlike men, many of these women use their own past sexual victimization to rationalize their entry into pornography addiction.

This study was interesting because it is one of the very few studies that look at a women’s perspective on desired abstinence from pornography. In a field dominated by heteronormative male voices, it is refreshing to see science finally take an interest in the female voices in the arena.

Reference

Zhang, X & Silva, D.E. (2024). “I feel like a fraud who acts like a feminist”: The discussion themes and sexual scripts in the Porn Free Women online forum. Archives of Sexual Behavior. Doi.org/10.1007/s10508-024-02858-w

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

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Male Sexual Trauma: What are its Long-Term Effects?

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Mon, 10 Jun 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Most of the people I work with are men. I could write for days about male sexual trauma and how they have been acculturated to keep it secret.

Not acknowledge it.

And surely not seek help for the long-term effects of the trauma.

A Study on Male Sexual Trauma

We spend a lot of time in therapy unpacking these issues and then working through the trauma itself. That’s why I was excited to see this article, published this year, in the journal of the Academy of Psychiatry and Law. It specifically addressed the psychological and physiological effects of male sexual trauma.

This study was also particularly interesting to me because all of the men in the study were sexually abused by the same perpetrator.

The data came from evaluations given as part of a civil class suit brought against a physician who worked at a college for approximately 50 years. The men were subjected to various forms of sexual abuse during the course of physical examinations given by the physician.

As part of the evaluations for the lawsuit, the men underwent various testing protocols, including the Symptom Checklist 90 Revised (SCL-90-R). They were also assessed for things like substance abuse, erectile dysfunction, and relationship status.

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

Results of the Study on Male Sexual Trauma

These men were all between the ages of 18 and 22 when the abuse occurred. They were all abused during medical visits. The abusive behaviors were all framed as a necessary part of the medical exam.

Unfortunately, at the time of the abuse, most of the men were not aware of how to report it. Almost all of the men were fearful of possible consequences from reporting the abuse.

The study revealed that 78.7% of the 47 men in the study experienced intimacy and sexual problems.
51% experienced erectile dysfunction.
20% of the men dropped out of college after the abuse occurred.
38% reported that they had a challenging time keeping a job after the abuse.
In terms of relationships, 59.6% of the men reported they lost romantic partners.
74.5% reported that they had a tough time establishing meaningful relationships.

SCL-90-R Results

Results showed that psychopathology was present in many of the subjects.

66.7% of the men who were between 45 and 54 during the evaluation scored in the severely symptomatic range.
69.2% of the men between 55 and 64 scored in the severely symptomatic range.

The SCL-90-R score was also associated with alcohol addiction, employment issues, and intimacy problems.

As professionals, our time is valuable. Dr. Weeks created the Mitigation Aide Research Archive because there isn’t enough focused, data-backed research available in easily digestible formats.

Authors’ Notes on the Male Sexual Trauma Study

The authors note there were pervasive problems with relationships, sexual functioning, and intimacy reported by the men. This suggests the seriousness of the long term psychological and physiological effects of the abuse.

In terms of erectile dysfunction, about half of the men stated that they started having ED issues after the abuse. Those ED issues lasted for years.

Takeaways

This study outlines the long-lasting effects the sexual abuse perpetrated by one man had on 47 of his male victims. This is one of the first studies to specifically look at this population in this way.

The lack of research in this area speaks to the great need to destigmatize male sexual abuse and provide safe spaces for men to come forward and report their abuse.

Everyone who must suffer through this traumatic experience deserves to be heard, believed, and provided with the help they need to get through the trauma.

Reference: Petreca, V.G. & Burgess, A.W. (2024). Long-Term Psychological and Physiological Effects of Male Sexual Trauma. Journal of the Academy of Psychiatry and the Law, 52(1), doi:10.29158/jaapl.230076-23

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

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Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

The post Male Sexual Trauma: What are its Long-Term Effects? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Did Compulsive Sexual Behavior get Worse During COVID?

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Mon, 13 May 2024 12:00:00 +0000

The phones rang off the hook during lock downs and our caseloads for Compulsive Sexual Behavior increased. Was it real or did it just feel super busy? Was everyone looking at pornography then?

Those of us who work in the field treating Problematic Sexual Behavior (PSB) will anecdotally tell you that during COVID and its associated lock down, PSB was on the rise.

Science is now, four years after the lock downs began, backing up our anecdotal claims.

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

The Study on Compulsive Sexual Behavior During COVID Lock Downs

In a study published last year, Gleason and colleagues surveyed over 1000 people. They asked if the respondents pornography use and masturbation changed due to COVID.

Additionally, they also assessed for Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD) to see if that had any affect on masturbation and pornography use.

Takeaways From the Study on Compulsive Sexual Behavior

First, myself and my fellow therapists, were not making things up!

Among this sample, masturbation frequency and pornography use increased during the COVID 19 lockdown. Those who screened positive for CSBD had a larger increase in masturbation frequency.

Similarly, those who screened positive for CSBD had a larger increase in pornography use than those who did not screen positive for CSBD.

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But, why?

As this was not an experimental study, no assertions regarding the cause of the increase can be made. However, we can hypothesize.

For example, many people with CSBD use some sort of sexual behavior as a coping mechanism for negative affect (boredom, loneliness, depression, anxiety, etc.) or stress. As this time in life was incredibly stressful for most people, this increase in pornography use and masturbation could have been a means for people to manage those feelings.

While masturbation and pornography use increased for most people in this survey, it seems as though those with CSBD were most influenced by COVID.

Reference: Gleason, N., Conro, K., Banik, S., & Coleman, E. (2023). Compulsive Sexual Behavior and Changes in Solitary Sexual Behaviors During the COVID-19 Pandemic. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 52, 2287-2293.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post Did Compulsive Sexual Behavior get Worse During COVID? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Book Review: Sex Under the Influence

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Mon, 29 Apr 2024 12:00:00 +0000

I had the pleasure of hearing Dr. Fawcett give a presentation on Sex Under the Influence at the 2023 IITAP conference.

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It was one of the more enjoyable discussions I caught while at the conference. He has a vast amount of experience working with dual chemical and sexual addictions. He is very clearly passionate about helping people work through these issues.

So, when he published a book on the subject, I was eager to read it.

Sex Under the Influence is aimed at Individuals

While this book’s target audience is individuals who are struggling with sexualized drug use, it will also be useful to clinicians who are not as familiar with the pairing of sex and drugs in a compulsive manner.

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

The first chapter does a nice job with the following points:

What sexualized drug use is
How people use sex and drugs together and why
The biology of the addictive process and the consequences when pairing sex and drugs gets out of hand

Chapter 2 is either a nice primer or recap about what addiction is and how it can be experienced by people.

Chapter 3 looks at addictive behaviors in a variety of demographic groups.

I really enjoyed this chapter. It did something few books on addiction do: it discussed what addiction can look like for men, women, and transgender individuals.

We know from the scientific literature that men and women experience addiction differently both socially and biologically. Dr. Fawcett also discussed how addiction may differ based on one’s sexual orientation.

An entire chapter looking at the diversity of the addictive process was appreciated.

Recovery Tools from Sex Under the Influence

Starting in Chapter 5, the book provides tools and information for recovery. For clinician’s reading this book, particularly those who are trained in treating problematic sexual behavior, a lot of this work will be familiar.

For people struggling with addiction who are thinking about or entering into recovery, the second half of the book provides valuable tools such as:

The three-circle exercise
Emotion regulations tools
Relapse prevention planning

Subsequent chapters delve into the long-term process of recovery. It implicitly and explicitly acknowledges this is a long-term or lifelong process.

Recovery, particularly from issues with sexuality, require us to deepen connections. It requires us to delve into intimacy and our own sexuality.

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My Favorite Part

One of the things I particularly like about Sex Under the Influence is the author’s discussion of harm reduction.

So often, recovery is seen as an abstinence-only model and harm reduction is not discussed.

Abstinence-only models can drive away those thinking about recovery but feel full abstinence is impossible.

Additionally, abstinence-only models often are not realistic for problematic sexual behavior. Sexuality is part of who we are as humans.

The author spends a chapter discussing harm reduction and how it can be applied to sexualized drug use.

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Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

The post Book Review: Sex Under the Influence first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

What Affect do Sex Dolls Have on Human Sexuality?

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Mon, 15 Apr 2024 12:00:00 +0000

If you have spent any time on this blog, you might be thinking another sex doll post? What is her obsession with sex dolls?

I’ve been thinking about this while formulating a response to a reader’s comment on an older sex dolls post.

I find the topic interesting because people have very strong opinions about it based on feelings.

There are just not enough facts or data out there for anyone to form what we might call an “informed opinion.” So, that’s why I love reading and writing about research articles on sex dolls.

Sex Dolls in the Journal of Sex Research

Here’s a recap of a newer article published last year in the Journal of Sex Research.

The authors, through an online survey, sought to add some knowledge to the debate about sex doll usage. Particularly, to address sex dolls used by people who are sexually attracted to prepubescent or pubescent children.

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

Wait, What’s the Debate About Sex Dolls?

The core concerns regarding the use of sex dolls that people tend to bring up:

Using sex dolls increases problematic sexuality. Many feel the users may transfer the type of sexuality they engage in with a doll to a human.
Individuals who use sex dolls will become increasingly isolated from others.
People who use sex dolls will lose intimacy and empathy in their interpersonal relationships.

Specifically, relating to the use of child sex dolls, people fear that if a person who is sexually attracted to children uses a childlike sex doll, it will increase their desire or propensity to then engage in sexual activity with a live child.

Back to the Sex Doll Study

The authors “sought to explore the potential influence of (sex) doll use on common (i.e., sex with humans, masturbation, and porn use) as well as problematic or (potentially) illegal sexual behaviors (compulsive sexual behavior, illegal and dangerous sexual fantasies as well as visiting sex workers).

The study is the first to look at potential changes in sexual behavior associated with sex doll use.

The study asked 224 individuals who were sex doll users:

About the features of their dolls (gender, size, price, etc.)
About the changes they observed in their own sexual behavior
Demographic questions
Open ended questions

Interested in more information about sex dolls and their owners? Here’s all of our posts about them:

Results of the Study

The authors classified sex doll users as those who used the doll basically as a sex toy or those who used the doll as an artificial companion (AC).

The average age of the doll users was 31.

Those who used the doll as an AC were less likely to be in a relationship than those who used it as a sex toy.

What changes did they see in their behaviors?

All of the users reported an observable decrease in common and dangerous behaviors since they started using the dolls.

Specifically relating to doll owners who are sexually attracted to children, those individuals self-reported a strong significantly greater decrease in compulsive sexual behavior when compared to their adult attracted peers.

They also stated that they used their dolls as an alternative sexual outlet as they could not live out their sexual interest with humans.

Individuals with sexual interest in prepubescent or pubescent children did report:

They used the dolls to act out illegal fantasies with the dolls
They lost interest in sexual interactions with children due to their owning and using a childlike sex doll

The authors note the results of their study go against the idea that using sex dolls will reinforce problematic sexual behavior of any kind. Their results showed the opposite.

Sex doll ownership and use decreased self-reported problematic sexual behavior.

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Limitations of the Sex Doll Study

Before we definitively state the use of sex dolls is a good thing or that it does not, in fact, lead to problematic sexual behavior, we have to talk about the limitations of this research study.

The first limitation is that it is a survey.

There is always the question of whether or not the people who choose to respond to a research survey are in any way different from those that do not choose to participate, and this could decrease the generalizability of the results.

The second big limitation is the questions about reduction in problematic (including illegal) sexual behavior were self-reported.

This means we have no way of knowing if the study participants were telling the truth. We also don’t know if the decrease they reported is real or just their perception. Again, this may limit the validity and generalizability of the research.

Nonetheless, this study is a big step in moving forward and answering the questions of what affect owning and using a sex doll has on a person’s sexual behavior.

Reference: Desbuleux, J. C. & Fuss, J. (2023). The Self-Reported Sexual Real-World Consequences of Sex Doll Use. The Journal of Sex Research, DOI: 10.1080/00224499.2023.2199727.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post What Affect do Sex Dolls Have on Human Sexuality? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.