Assisted Loving A Journey Through Sexuality and Aging
It’s easy to find books on most sexuality topics, like sex addiction, sex therapy, general sex education, etc. What doesn’t exist are a lot of good quality resources about senior sexuality. Assisted Loving fills that role nicely.
Our world seems to forget that seniors have sex too!
How did you find Assisted Loving?
I was planning the curriculum of my graduate human sexuality course last fall, and felt this was an invaluable resource.
Assisted Loving: The Journey through Sexuality and Aging by Ginger Manley.
Ginger Manley is a nurse practitioner and a certified sex therapist, doing this work since the 1980’s.
She wrote a column in Mature Lifestyles magazine where people could write in to ask advice about sex, sexuality and aging. Additionally, she also taught sex education classes at Vanderbilt University specifically for those over 60 years of age.
This book is a compilation of her columns that cover everything from relationships to medical issues.
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What makes Assisted Loving special?
It specifically addresses the issues that most other sex therapy or sex advice books do not.
When discussing relationships, most books do not tackle topics such as:
- Dating after the death of a spouse
- How to date online when you are in your late 60’s
- How to talk to your adult children about your new love interest
The fact that these are real questions from real people make the book very relatable. Ginger Manley’s frank and humorous style make the book fun.
Seniors DO Have Sex
I’m the type of person who reads my books wherever I am, be that on an airplane, etc. If people ask me what I am reading I will show them.
I was in a tire shop, waiting on my new tires, reading this book.
A lovely older gentleman sat down next to me. He got a flat on the way to his church’s men’s group that needed to be fixed.
He asked me what I was reading.
I replied with, “Do you really want to know?” And off we went.
Turns out he was 83 years old and happily married for well over 50 years. We had a wonderful, long conversation about sexuality in older people, his own relationship with his wife and a million other things related to sex.
Never would I have thought I’d be having an open and honest conversation about senior sex in a tire store with a man I just met!
I think this story shows people want and need to talk about relationships and sexuality no matter the age.
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What are some of the issues that Assisted Loving addresses?
It is divided into four sections. The first focuses on relationship issues.
Many of the issues that seniors face in their relationships are the same as the issues faced by younger couples.
There are issues of communication, lack of sexual interest, and dissatisfaction in the bedroom. Other issues that are more frequent in older couples involve starting new relationships after the death of a spouse and how to navigate online dating as a senior.
Male Issues
The second section focuses on male issues. Not surprisingly, many of these focus on erectile issues or lack of sexual interest.
Using both her sex therapy background and nursing background the author delves into issues of ED, low T, sexual functioning after prostate surgery and TURP (Transeurethral resection of the prostate).
Women’s Issues
Section three turns to women’s issues. Again, the author’s role as a nurse is helpful in working through issues that come with aging including hormonal changes and incontinence issues.
Other Medical Issues
The final section is devoted to other medical issues.
The issues in this section are those that are not most commonly brought to the clinical office and I assume are not frequently brought to the medical doctor as well.
She covers topics such as:
- Resuming sex after joint replacement surgeries
- Dealing with added weight
- And other things, such as blood pressure medications.
Additionally, and much less talked about in general, are topics of Parkinson’s symptoms and sexuality as well as how to manage sexual activity when one spouse has early stage dementia.
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I Recommend Assisted Loving
If you work with sexuality issues in your practice, or if you are a senior who wants to get questions about your health and/or sex life answered, this little book is for you.
It is a fun but serious look at how aging affects our sexuality and offers great advice to help us to enjoy a healthy sense of sexuality no matter our age!
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Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.
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