trauma - Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings

Gisele Pelicot: A Hymn to Life

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Mon, 17 Aug 2026 11:00:00 +0000

If you are unfamiliar with the story of Gisele Pelicot, prepare yourself. It’s mind boggling.

I’ve followed this story since it first made it to the US news cycle from France.

The Reader’s Digest Version is: Ms. Pelicot’s (ex) husband had been drugging her, assaulting her, and inviting other men into their home to assault her as well.

Even more astonishing is how she found out about her abuse. Her husband was arrested for a crime related to voyeurism. This led the authorities to find videos taken of the assaults of his unconscious wife.

The story is abhorrent. The behavior is egregious. But Gisele Pelicot is a marvel.

The story first made world news because of the abuse she suffered. She, however, changed the narrative and took her power back.

As professionals, our time is valuable. Dr. Weeks created the Mitigation Aide Research Archive because there isn’t enough focused, data-backed research available in easily digestible formats.

Normally, in France, these trials are closed so no one from the public sees the evidence. This is normally done to protect the victims. Gisele Pelicot said no. She opened the trial to the public.

She refused to carry the shame of her abusers.

So, she sat there for the trial of an incomprehensible number of men. The videos of these men assaulting her were played in public. She made the abusers watch with her in the room. She refused to carry the shame and became an ICON and an inspiration to others who have been sexually abused.

When A Hymn to Life came out, I read it immediately.

This is her story.

How she came to learn of being the victim of such horrible abuse and what she went through during the time from discovery through the trial.

It is a beautiful book.

I know how weird that sounds. How can a story about a woman’s journey through the most horrific experience be beautiful?

It just is.

It is real and raw and does not gloss over the emotional conflict of loving someone who perpetrates unimaginable harm to you.

Why I recommend A Hymn to Life by Gisele Pelicot

It is an inspiration to survivors of sexual abuse.
It is a brave and compelling story.
For the partners of my clients who have sexually offended, it is the only book I have ever read that articulates the struggle of coming to grips with your partner doing something so egregious that you knew nothing about.

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses? stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Struggling with excessive sexual thoughts, urges, or activities that are causing you distress? Take the free, online Sexual Symptom Assessment Scale (SSAS) and get a link to share with your therapist.

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4 Ways Childhood Trauma Physically Changes a Man’s Brain

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Tue, 13 Jan 2026 15:23:48 +0000

Introduction: More Than a Memory

It is widely understood that childhood trauma, particularly childhood sexual abuse (CSA), leaves deep and lasting psychological scars.

The experience can shape a person’s emotional landscape for a lifetime. It can lead to challenges like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and anxiety. For many, the impact feels profound, but the injury itself can seem invisible.

But what if the damage wasn’t just psychological? What if the trauma left a physical, measurable imprint on the very structure of the brain? A new brain imaging study provides compelling evidence that this is exactly what happens.

The research focuses specifically on the long-term neurophysiological effects of CSA in men. We know this is a topic that remains heavily stigmatized and under-researched. Despite its prevalence, with approximately 1 in 25 men in Canada experiencing sexual abuse before age 15 (Heidinger, 2022), the physical toll it takes has been poorly understood until now.

This study begins to change that.

1. Childhood Trauma Physically Alters the Brain’s “Communication Highways”

The researchers used a specialized MRI technique called Diffusion Tensor Imaging (DTI). DTI looks deep inside the brain’s white matter.

You can think of white matter as the brain’s internal communication wiring or its information superhighways. White matter consists of bundles of nerve fibers that connect different brain regions and allow them to work together seamlessly.

The study measured a key property of this wiring called “fractional anisotropy” (FA). In simple terms, FA is a measure of the integrity and efficiency of these communication pathways.

Higher FA values indicate well-organized, healthy wiring. While lower values suggest the wiring may be less organized, frayed, or poorly insulated, leading to disrupted signaling.

The study’s core finding was unequivocal: the group of men with a history of CSA had significantly lower FA values in multiple key brain regions compared to the control group. This provides clear physical proof that the trauma fundamentally rewired the brain’s architecture.

2. The Damage Targets Critical Hubs for Emotion, Memory, and Executive Function

The study revealed that the structural changes were not random. They were concentrated in white matter tracts that are critical for regulating the very functions that many survivors struggle with.

The specific regions affected include:

The Superior Longitudinal Fasciculus (SLF): This massive tract showed the largest effect. A finding with a statistical effect size (Cohen’s d = 1.902) so large it indicates a profound difference between the groups. The damage was most pronounced in a segment called SLF II. This connects key hubs for attention and memory to the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (dlPFC), a critical command center for executive function. This provides a direct neurobiological link explaining why a survivor might struggle with daily tasks like concentrating at work or managing complex projects.

The Cingulum: As a key part of the brain’s limbic system, the cingulum is a hub for processing emotion, behavior, and memory. Damage here has been previously linked to PTSD and depression. This offers a biological reason for the persistent feelings of anxiety or the intrusive memories that can define a survivor’s experience.

The Anterior Thalamic Radiation and Forceps Minor: These tracts are essential wiring for the frontal lobe, supporting executive functions like planning complex behaviors and impulse control. Compromised integrity in these pathways can help explain difficulties with emotional regulation and decision-making that survivors often report.

In short, the brain scans reveal a physical roadmap of the injury, showing that the damage isn’t random. It targets the very systems that survivors rely on to regulate emotion, process memory, and maintain focus.

Are you exploring your trauma? Do you feel your childhood experiences were detrimental to your current mental or physical health? Utilize this free, validated, self-report questionnaire to find out.

Take the Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) Questionnaire

3. Structural Damage from Childhood Trauma Helps Explain Real-World Cognitive Emotional Challenges

One of the most powerful aspects of this research is how it connects the brain’s physical structure to its real-time function.

Some of the same men who participated in this DTI study also took part in another study that used a functional MRI (fMRI) to see how their brains worked during a challenging mental task (Chiasson et al., 2021).

That fMRI study found that when performing an emotional working memory task, the men with CSA histories showed altered brain activation patterns.

Instead of relying on their dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (dlPFC), the brain’s executive control center, they showed increased activation in limbic areas, the brain’s emotional hub.

This new DTI study provides a compelling physical explanation for why. The structural damage to the Superior Longitudinal Fasciculus (SLF II), the “highway” that leads directly to the dlPFC, helps explain why that executive control center was less active. The damaged road was unable to carry the traffic. It forced the brain to create functional “detours” through more emotional pathways. It directly links the physical brain changes to the functional difficulties survivors experience.

4. This Evidence is a Powerful Tool Against Stigma Around Male Childhood Trauma

For male survivors of CSA, stigma and shame often create immense barriers to seeking help. This research offers a powerful tool to fight that stigma.

Having objective, empirical evidence that trauma causes a tangible, neurophysiological injury helps reframe the survivor’s experience.

It is not “just in their head” or a sign of weakness; it is a physical injury that requires understanding and clinical support.

The study’s authors highlight this crucial implication in their conclusion:

“Raising awareness of the impact of CSA is crucial—not only to help destigmatize the topic and encourage more men to seek help, but also to equip clinicians with a better understanding of CSA’s neuro-physiological effects, ultimately contributing to more effective interventions and improved treatment outcomes.”

By demonstrating the physical reality of traumatic injury, this research helps move the conversation around male CSA away from silence and stigma and toward one of scientific understanding, compassion, and informed care.

Conclusion: A Deeper Understanding of Healing

This study offers a stark and clear message: childhood trauma is a profound event that can physically reshape the brain’s architecture.

For men who have survived childhood sexual abuse, this research provides concrete, scientific validation of their experience. It shows that the challenges they face are rooted in tangible changes to the brain’s white matter.

The findings underscore that healing from trauma is not merely a psychological exercise but a process that involves a brain that has been physically altered.

As we continue to uncover the deep nature of traumatic injury, it prompts a vital question for us all:

How might this change our approach to healing, compassion, and justice for survivors?

Does this ring true for you or someone you love? Share how this article shined a light on behaviors you hadn’t previously understood in the comments below.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

The post 4 Ways Childhood Trauma Physically Changes a Man’s Brain first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Kinks and Fetishes: 4 Surprising Scientific Truths

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Fri, 05 Dec 2025 13:00:00 +0000

When you think of kinks, fetishes, and paraphilias they probably exist in a space of mystery and sensationalism. They can evoke images of fringe behaviors or clinical disorders. They seem like topics more suited for dramatic television than for serious discussion.

But as with many aspects of human experience, the scientific understanding of atypical sexuality offers a far more nuanced and surprising perspective. One that challenges deep-seated assumptions about what is “normal.”

Crucially, modern psychology and psychiatry draw a clear line. Paraphilia is an atypical sexual interest. A paraphilic disorder is a diagnosable condition that causes significant personal distress or involves harm to non-consenting individuals.

This distinction is the foundation for a more accurate and compassionate conversation.

A 2022 study published in the Journal of Criminal Justice provides compelling insights into this landscape. While it explores prevalence, its core contribution is an analysis of the complex developmental pathways that lead to these interests. This article distills the most impactful takeaways from that research.

1. Kinks & Fetishes No More! Atypical Sexual Interests Are Far More Common Than You Think

One of the most significant findings from the research is that many kinks, or paraphilic interests, are far more widespread than generally believed.

The study investigated 24 different paraphilic interests in a nonclinical sample of adults and concluded that a majority were “neither rare, nor unusual.”

This suggests that having an interest in things like fetishism or masochism is not an automatic sign of a fringe deviation. This finding aligns with previous research.

For example, a 2017 study by Joyal & Carpentier found that a remarkable 45.6% of individuals reported having at least one paraphilic fantasy. Crucially, that same study found that only 33.9% reported engaging in at least one paraphilic behavior.

The significance of this is profound:

It challenges the idea that such interests are inherently abnormal. It underscores why simply having a paraphilia is not considered a disorder. Instead of being isolated phenomena, these interests are a common part of the broad spectrum of human sexuality.

2. There’s a Critical Difference Between Fantasy and Arousal

While we now know these fantasies are common, it’s equally important to understand that a fantasy is not a blueprint for action.

In fact, the research reveals a crucial gap between our inner world and our real-world arousal.

The study found a significant difference between sexual fantasy and sexual arousal, noting “a majority of self-reported arousal being lower than fantasy.” In other words, just because a person fantasizes about something doesn’t mean it arouses them in reality, let alone that they would ever act on it.

The researchers emphasize this point to distinguish between internal thoughts and external behaviors.

The presence of atypical sexual fantasies is not necessarily indicative of a paraphilic behavior.

This distinction is vital for reducing stigma. Understanding that a person’s private fantasies do not automatically translate to their real-world desires or behavior is key. We can have more informed and less judgmental conversations about sexuality.

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

3. The Official Line Between “Normal” and “Deviant” Is Blurry and Keeps Changing

For decades, clinicians have struggled to draw a clear, objective line between “normal” and “paraphilic” sexual interests.

The study notes that a “key problem with the DSM classification… is primarily based on descriptions of symptoms and behaviours instead of the underlying causes.”

What constitutes an ‘unusual’ sexual behavior is not always clear because our standards are not fixed; they are shaped by social forces. As the paper states, “Beliefs about what is morally and socially acceptable and unacceptable shifts across cultures and over time.”

The evolution of the DSM itself provides a perfect example.

The source notes, “To encompass that some individuals might engage in atypical sexual behaviours without being labelled with a mental disorder, the DSM-5 has clarified the distinction between paraphilia […] and paraphilic disorder.” This recent change is part of a long history of shifting definitions.

A powerful historical example illustrates this perfectly. Until 1973, the DSM classified homosexuality as a sexual deviation right alongside sadism and masochism.

This demonstrates that our definitions of sexual ‘normalcy’ are heavily influenced by social context, not objective science.

4. The Path From Childhood Trauma to Paraphilia Is Indirect

While a link between childhood trauma and the development of kinks, or atypical sexual interests, is known, this study reveals the relationship is not a simple, direct cause-and-effect.

Using a method called mediation analysis, the researchers found that the connection is more complex and is mediated by other factors.

In simpler terms, childhood trauma doesn’t directly cause paraphilic arousal. The study found that its influence is channeled through other issues that may arise from the trauma, such as hypersexuality (an unusually intense sex drive), problematic pornography consumption, and the development of certain personality traits. These intervening factors are what more directly connect the early trauma to later sexual interests.

The study’s abstract summarizes this developmental pathway powerfully:

Abuses during childhood are the starting point of an over-involvement in sexuality, which increase the likelihood of developing atypical sexual interest or behavior.

This shift from a simple A-to-B link to a complex web of influences is critical.

It moves our understanding away from a simplistic and stigmatizing ‘broken by trauma’ narrative toward a more compassionate and accurate developmental model, opening the door for more effective and targeted interventions.

A Final Thought About Kinks

The research paints a clear picture: what happens in our minds is a vast and common part of the human experience (Points 1 & 2).

The labels we use to pathologize it are often social constructs that are constantly evolving (Point 3), and the developmental pathways that lead to these interests are far more complex than simple narratives of trauma suggest (Point 4).

By moving past sensationalism, we can begin to see a more accurate and human landscape.

As our understanding evolves, how can we foster conversations about sexuality that are guided more by empathy and evidence, and less by outdated stigmas?

Are you exploring your trauma? Do you feel your childhood experiences were detrimental to your current mental or physical health? Utilize this free, validated, self-report questionnaire to find out.

Take the Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) Questionnaire

Are you a Licensed Professional Counselor seeking engaging, unique Continuing Education courses? Dr. Weeks offers accredited courses on her practice website on the effects of Pornography Abstinence and other unique topics!

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

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Living with Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Parent’s Perspective

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Fri, 13 Sep 2024 12:00:00 +0000

In this video I discuss the latest research on parental impact of sibling sexual abuse (SSA). The consequences are far more serious for the parents in these situations because they have to handle both the abuser and the abused child.

Looking for more on sibling sexual abuse? These articles explore recent research, family impact, and parents’ perspectives.

The key takeaway from the video are the challenges and the insecurities these parents experience.

Are you exploring your trauma? Do you feel your childhood experiences were detrimental to your current mental or physical health? Utilize this free, validated, self-report questionnaire to find out.

Take the Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) Questionnaire

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

The post Living with Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Parent’s Perspective first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Male Sexual Trauma: What are its Long-Term Effects?

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Mon, 10 Jun 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Most of the people I work with are men. I could write for days about male sexual trauma and how they have been acculturated to keep it secret.

Not acknowledge it.

And surely not seek help for the long-term effects of the trauma.

A Study on Male Sexual Trauma

We spend a lot of time in therapy unpacking these issues and then working through the trauma itself. That’s why I was excited to see this article, published this year, in the journal of the Academy of Psychiatry and Law. It specifically addressed the psychological and physiological effects of male sexual trauma.

This study was also particularly interesting to me because all of the men in the study were sexually abused by the same perpetrator.

The data came from evaluations given as part of a civil class suit brought against a physician who worked at a college for approximately 50 years. The men were subjected to various forms of sexual abuse during the course of physical examinations given by the physician.

As part of the evaluations for the lawsuit, the men underwent various testing protocols, including the Symptom Checklist 90 Revised (SCL-90-R). They were also assessed for things like substance abuse, erectile dysfunction, and relationship status.

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

Results of the Study on Male Sexual Trauma

These men were all between the ages of 18 and 22 when the abuse occurred. They were all abused during medical visits. The abusive behaviors were all framed as a necessary part of the medical exam.

Unfortunately, at the time of the abuse, most of the men were not aware of how to report it. Almost all of the men were fearful of possible consequences from reporting the abuse.

The study revealed that 78.7% of the 47 men in the study experienced intimacy and sexual problems.
51% experienced erectile dysfunction.
20% of the men dropped out of college after the abuse occurred.
38% reported that they had a challenging time keeping a job after the abuse.
In terms of relationships, 59.6% of the men reported they lost romantic partners.
74.5% reported that they had a tough time establishing meaningful relationships.

SCL-90-R Results

Results showed that psychopathology was present in many of the subjects.

66.7% of the men who were between 45 and 54 during the evaluation scored in the severely symptomatic range.
69.2% of the men between 55 and 64 scored in the severely symptomatic range.

The SCL-90-R score was also associated with alcohol addiction, employment issues, and intimacy problems.

As professionals, our time is valuable. Dr. Weeks created the Mitigation Aide Research Archive because there isn’t enough focused, data-backed research available in easily digestible formats.

Authors’ Notes on the Male Sexual Trauma Study

The authors note there were pervasive problems with relationships, sexual functioning, and intimacy reported by the men. This suggests the seriousness of the long term psychological and physiological effects of the abuse.

In terms of erectile dysfunction, about half of the men stated that they started having ED issues after the abuse. Those ED issues lasted for years.

Takeaways

This study outlines the long-lasting effects the sexual abuse perpetrated by one man had on 47 of his male victims. This is one of the first studies to specifically look at this population in this way.

The lack of research in this area speaks to the great need to destigmatize male sexual abuse and provide safe spaces for men to come forward and report their abuse.

Everyone who must suffer through this traumatic experience deserves to be heard, believed, and provided with the help they need to get through the trauma.

Reference: Petreca, V.G. & Burgess, A.W. (2024). Long-Term Psychological and Physiological Effects of Male Sexual Trauma. Journal of the Academy of Psychiatry and the Law, 52(1), doi:10.29158/jaapl.230076-23

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

The post Male Sexual Trauma: What are its Long-Term Effects? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Adverse Childhood Experiences and Sibling Incest

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Tue, 02 Apr 2024 17:15:01 +0000

I have written a little about sibling incest on this blog. It is something that’s, unfortunately, rather common and not frequently researched. I appreciate when I see research on the topic. I hold out hope for anything that can aid our understanding and guide us toward prevention and treatment.

The Study on Sibling Incest and Adverse Childhood Experiences

A study was published in 2023 in the Journal of Sexual Aggression by Tomsen and colleagues.

This study specifically looked at youth who sexually abuse through the lens of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) by comparing ACE experiences between youth who sexually harmed a sibling and those who sexually harmed a non-sibling child.

So, let’s dig right into the research.

Are you exploring your trauma? Do you feel your childhood experiences were detrimental to your current mental or physical health? Utilize this free, validated, self-report questionnaire to find out.

Take the Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) Questionnaire

Subjects of the Sibling Incest Study

The subjects were adolescent males in Australia who were referred to a Youth Forensic Service for assessment and treatment. All were between the age of 12 and 19 when they started treatment.

The study used the classic ACE questionnaire but also added their own questions to it. They added the variables of caregiver inconsistency, social isolation, bullying victimization, and poor social interaction.

They also looked at whether the youth were prone to internalizing problems (i.e., depression, anxiety), externalizing problems (i.e. aggression) or early sexual behavior problems prior to the age of 10.

Looking for more on sibling sexual abuse? These articles explore recent research, family impact, and parents’ perspectives.

Results of the Sibling Incest Study

The study found the youth who sexually harmed a sibling had higher ACE scores than those who sexually harmed a non-sibling. They also found significant differences in family functioning between the two groups.

The differences were found for caregiver sexual abuse victimization, caregiver mental health problems and caregiver inconsistently.

These issues were more prevalent for the youth who sexually harmed siblings.

Youth who sexually harmed siblings were also more likely to experience social isolation and bullying before the age of 12.

The youth who sexually harmed siblings were also more likely to internalize problems than externalize them.

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

What does this mean for treatment?

The authors suggest this provides evidence that treatment for youth who sexually harm others needs to also include the entire family system. Not just the youth.

They also suggest that interventions for youth who sexually harm siblings should include interventions related to developing interpersonal skills and social functioning.

Reference: Thomsen, L., Ogilvie, J. & Rynne, J. (2023). Adverse childhood experiences and psychosocial functioning problems for youths who sexually harm siblings. Journal of Sexual Aggression, 29:3, 374-390.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Are you looking for more reputable, data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post Adverse Childhood Experiences and Sibling Incest first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Sibling Sexual Abuse as Family Dysfunction

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Wed, 06 Dec 2023 18:20:44 +0000

Here we have a research summary of a study conducted in the United Kingdom. It was a qualitative study that used thematic analysis to reflect the data of 17 interviewed survivors of sibling sexual abuse.

This means that they studied the content of the interviews and determined dominant themes from all subjects’ interviews.

This research summary continues our theme of current research on sibling sexual abuse (SSA). As I stated in my previous blog, several scientific journals have devoted a good deal of space to sibling Sexual Abuse (SSA) in the past month is both necessary and long overdue.

The study uncovered 10 predominant themes from the interviews.

Abuse and dysfunction were central components of the broad family system

The subjects reported that there was often abuse In the family between other family members outside of the SSA.

This meant, for example, that their parents were perhaps victims of sexual abuse or other family members were as well.

The subjects also identified that they came from families that held misogynistic views that included sexism and treating male and female children differently based on their gender. Therefore, these family beliefs laid the groundwork for the sibling sexual abuse to occur.

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Abuse and dysfunction were common in the nuclear family

The victims of SSA reported that there was often abuse in the nuclear family.

Furthermore, their parents often had dysfunctional relationships that included emotional, psychological, or physical abuse.

Dual status of the sibling that harmed

The sibling that perpetrated the sexual abuse was often also the victim of sexual abuse themselves. There was often a culture of acceptance of this abuse in the family.

Conflicted feelings toward the sibling that harmed

The victims of SSA often held conflicting feelings toward the sibling who harmed them.

On the one hand, they had sympathy for their sibling who was often the victim of sexual abuse themselves.

On the other hand, they often felt as though they could not forgive their sibling for hurting them.

Looking for more on sibling sexual abuse? These articles explore recent research, family impact, and parents’ perspectives.

Poor parental engagement and communication

Subjects reported that their parents were often absent or disengaged. This absence came in many forms.

For example, it could have been anything from the death of a parent to work outside the home or parental divorce.

The victims often felt as though there was parental disengagement even if both parents were in the home. This parental disengagement provided a situation where the abusive sibling often had power and control as they were often older and put in a position of authority due to the parental absence.

The parental disengagement also meant that the victims did not feel as though they could go to their parents for support.

Parents had poor and inconsistently enforced boundaries

Parents often had poor boundaries around sex, sexuality, and pornography. This normalized sexual behavior and the daughters often felt more sexualized while the sons were not challenged for overtly sexual behavior.

Licensed Professional Counselors: Dr. Weeks’ course Sex Addiction, Erotic Conflict, Moral Incongruence looks at what can be mistaken for sex addiction and offers treatment considerations for distinguishing those problems.

Sexual Addiction Treatment Services has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7250. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Sexual Addiction Treatment Services is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.

Denial of Abuse

When the victims in this study did disclose the sibling sexual abuse to their parents, their parents often did not believe them or did not want to talk about the issue.

Furthermore, parents often were unwilling or unable to acknowledge what was happening in the family.

Normalization of dysfunction and acceptance of abuse

Because of the dysfunction in the family as well as the larger family circle, the victims often felt that how the family acted was normal and acceptable. Therefore, they did not know any other way that a family could be.

Clarity was found from gaining distance from the family

The victims often did not realize that their family was dysfunctional until they removed themselves from the family system. Once outside of the system, they came to realize that both the family dysfunction and the abuse were not normal and were not ok.

Not all families that experience SSA are the same

The authors are keen to point out that not all of the families of the victims interviewed in this study were the same and they are not all dysfunctional.

Based on the data, the authors that that treating instances of SSA should not be done on an individual basis. The entire family needs to play a role in treatment as often the beliefs that need to be identified and challenged are held by the family system as well. A whole family approach to treatment is required.

Reference: McCarten, K., King-Hill, S. & Gilsenan, A. (2023). Sibling sexual abuse: a form of family dysfunction as opposed to individualised behavior. Journal of Sexual Aggression, 29:3, 427-439

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? consult with a professional.

Are you looking for more reputable, data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post Sibling Sexual Abuse as Family Dysfunction first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Parental Perspective

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Fri, 17 Nov 2023 21:03:12 +0000

In the last month, several scientific journals have published special issues focusing on the topic of Sibling Sexual Abuse (SSA).

Despite the incredible prevalence of SSA, the topic is not well researched.

As a therapist and forensic evaluator, I’m overjoyed to see research on a topic that has long been an issue.

Looking at Sibling Sexual Abuse From a Different Angle

When SSA occurs, it affects the entire family.

This article looks at the experience of living through the disclosure and aftermath of SSA from the perspective of the parents.

What little research that is published has not yet focused on this topic.

This study, published in the Journal of Sexual Aggression, interviewed 5 parents from Sweden whose family had experienced SSA reported to authorities.

The victims in these situations were all prepubescent children. The child who caused harm was placed outside the home for a period of time in a treatment facility.

The study used an in-depth interview style called Interpretive Phenomenological Analysis to determine common themes from the experiences of the parents.

From the interviews, the authors found several themes.

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

Sibling Sexual Abuse: Insecurity and New Challenges

Parenting now involves insecurity and new challenges.

Parents shared that whatever their parenting style was before the disclosure, it was forever altered. Many felt as though they were now guarding infants. They struggled to figure out how to manage the needs of one child without negatively affecting the other child or children.

If they were doing something to support the child who caused harm, how was that affecting the child who was harmed?

The parents struggled to manage their own emotions. Understandably, the experience left the parents with very strong and very conflicting emotions.

Finally, the parents also struggled with the ability to obtain guidance and support from professionals.

All of these families were involved with the child welfare system based on the SSA and the families felt that the system did not provide them with enough support.

Looking for more on sibling sexual abuse? These articles explore recent research, family impact, and parents’ perspectives.

The Family Unit is Altered

The disclosure of SSA often caused the parental duties to be split. Therefore, parents felt like they had to choose which child they needed to protect.

The harmed child needed support and care. The child who caused harm also needed parental care and advocacy in the system.

Parents reported harmed and non-harmed siblings often felt abandoned when they went to visit the sibling who caused harm or did things to support that sibling.

Parents also shared the change in the family unit included extended family such as grandparents.

The Parent’s Relationship is Altered

Parents shared that their relationship took a back seat to everything else going on in the family. They lacked any time to work on their marriage.

They felt that their personal lives disappeared while the well-being of all of the children became the only priority.

The disclosure of the SSA in the family also had an effect on the sexuality of the parents. It made them look at sex and sexuality differently.

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

The Family Adapts after Sibling Sexual Abuse

Despite the disclosure of SSA having many negative impacts on all involved, parents did share there was some positive growth:

The family increased in closeness.
All of the children learned to manage their emotions in a healthier manner.
The parents worked to ensure they improved their relationship with their children so they felt they could come to their parents with questions and troubles.

The Takeaways

Parents need more help! Parents had to repeatedly ask professionals for assistance. Often non-abused siblings were not offered support though they were experiencing trauma from the event as well.
Parents feel disconnected, unsafe, and helpless. However, many of them were able to turn to their partners for support and improve the quality of their relationship with their children.
Parents lacked support from outside of the family. Parents felt as though people in their lives underestimated the emotional strain and burden they were experiencing.

For Professionals: Supporting Parents of Sibling Sexual Abuse

There is an extensive need for support from qualified professionals in the field.
The professionals in the field lack adequate skills and knowledge to help families.
The professional community needs to attend to the needs of the entire family including non-harmed siblings and the extended family.

Limitations of the Study

Every study has limitations.

This study employed a very small sample size.

The authors acknowledge that the data may not be generalizable to other SSA experiences and that the experiences of the parents in this study might not reflect the experiences of most parents in this situation.

Reference: Westergren, M., Kjellgren, C., & Nygaard, K., (2023). Living through the experience of sibling sexual abuse: parents’ perspectives. Journal of Sexual Aggression, 29:3, 343-358

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? consult with a professional.

The post Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Parental Perspective first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

What is Accidentally Brave all about?

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Mon, 01 May 2023 18:08:34 +0000

Photo Copyright Jeremy Daniel (Instagram)

I am currently at the IITAP symposium which is the annual gathering of CSAT therapists. The conference ended with the first ever showing of the movie version of Accidentally Brave.

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During the symposium, we gather for three days of continuing education focused on problematic sexual behavior.

This is the first in-person gathering since the COVID-19 pandemic forced conferences to go virtual.

Full disclosure, I normally bail on move showings, but today I stayed.

I stayed because when this play was showing in New York, I was unable to get tickets. The show had a limited run and by the time I had heard about it, it was too late to get tickets to see it live.

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What is Accidentally Brave and why am I talking about it?

In 2015, Maddie Corman’s husband, a well-known television director, was arrested for the possession of child sexual abuse material. He was ultimately convicted and placed on probation and the sex offender registry.

To use Maddie’s words, “I am not going into that as it is his story to tell and Accidentally Brave is about Maddie.”

She created this play, which shares her story, as an act of service to others who have been through or are going through something similar.

The movie stays with Maddie’s experience from the moment the police arrive at her house until after sentencing. She focuses on her own story allowing her husband and children the freedom to express themselves independently.

I am in no way a movie or art critic, so it is not in my wheelhouse to talk about things like acting or production. When I watch something like this, I do so through the lens of “is this something that would be useful to my clients.”

Does this film mimic reality?

Maddie’s story, like so many of the partners of my clients, is raw, difficult, and full of many emotional roller coaster moments. Watching this, it truly felt like an authentic portrayal of the experiences of many partners of sex addicts and people who commit sex crimes.

The scene that really hit home for me involved her buying Halloween decorations. At that moment she realized it was the last time she would be able to decorate or have trick or treaters to her home due to her husband’s sex offender status.

It was all too reminiscent of conversations we have with clients in the fall. These thoughts don’t occur to people unless they’re in this situation.

Who would find this useful?

I left the movie wondering who might find this film more useful: my clients or their partners?

As an exercise in victim empathy, the show is about as raw and real as it gets.

It is often easier to hear the pain when it is not directly coming from the person we have hurt.

For partners, I can imagine that watching this would be partly excruciating. It would be akin to reliving that experience. I can also imagine how validating it could be to hear this story. These partners tend to hold the family secret more tightly than partners of non-offending sex addicts.

Either way, I am hopeful that the movie will become available so that it can be used for therapeutic purposes.

Until then, it appears as though an audio version is available. I have not listened to this but assume it is a sound recording of the play. While it will likely still be super powerful, watching the movie would be more so as you get the body language to go along with the emotions.

Thank you to Maddie Corman for sharing her story in such a vulnerable and raw way.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? consult with a professional.

Are you looking for more reputable, data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post What is Accidentally Brave all about? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

How to Heal from Childhood Neglect: A Book Review

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Wed, 15 Jan 2020 13:14:20 +0000

Respected psychotherapist Enod Gray has released Neglect: The Silent Abuser, an excellent primer for recognizing and learning to heal from the consequences of childhood neglect.

Most Don’t or Can’t Identify Childhood Neglect

Most people who come to therapy can recognize overt abuse. Overt abuse is abuse that is obvious to the person or a form of abuse that is easily recognizable.

For example, physical or sexual abuse, though frequently minimized, are often identified as abuse.

Verbal abuse people can, sometimes, have more difficulty recognizing. But, again, this type of abuse tends to be more overt. Think of a parent who also calls their child names or humiliates them consistently.

But What About Childhood Neglect?

Neglect is something most people have a harder time identifying.

Most people think more overt neglect, such as growing up lacking food, safe shelter, etc. Neglect most often brings forth thoughts of physical neglect.

Most people don’t immediately think of emotional neglect when they are asked about it, because, frequently, it’s not overt or consciously done. It’s also a form of neglect that is easy to minimize or rationalize.

Are you exploring your trauma? Do you feel your childhood experiences were detrimental to your current mental or physical health? Utilize this free, validated, self-report questionnaire to find out.

Take the Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) Questionnaire

What is Emotional Childhood Neglect?

For example, if you grew up in a household with a parent with a mental illness, you may not have received the emotional care and nurturing you needed. However, this neglect was not consciously or intentionally done. It would have been a consequence of the parent’s mental illness and not, necessarily, consciously done.

As another example, if you grew up in a household with a sibling with a physical disability, this likely took up most of your parents’ time and energy. Likely there was some unintentional neglect in this family system. One family member needed more time and energy, therefore the children without those more overt needs are assumed to be just fine.

Addiction and Neglect

Addiction in one or both parents can also result in childhood neglect. If a parent is struggling with addiction, they won’t be able to meet their child’s needs for nurturance.

Frequently, we therapists also see neglect in families where one parent is a workaholic.

Again, this neglect is not something consciously done. It’s often justified by providing the children with all the material goods and experiences they could wish for. Unfortunately, children more often need time, not stuff.

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Vignettes of Childhood Neglect

Neglect: The Silent Abuser does a nice job of discussing the topic and its effect on our adult behavior. It does so at a cursory, but understandable level.

The factual information is nicely complemented by stories of clients of the author.

Often, it is these client vignettes that are most relatable to readers.

Light on Solutions

After addressing the process of neglect, Ms. Gray provides guidelines and thoughts on how to address the struggles of adults who grew up with neglect.

In this section of the book, I found myself wishing for more “meat.”

The thoughts and ideas are brief overviews of ways to help healing such as journaling, yoga, EMDR, and other forms of therapy.

Though wished for more tools for healing from this book, it is perfectly suited to those new to the concept of neglect as abuse in their own childhood. It feels like a primer for someone just starting their journey into recovery from neglect.

It also provides an excellent array of resources for further investigation. I would recommend this book to a client who wants a quick and easy read to serve as an introduction to the concept of neglect and the road to healing.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Are you looking for more reputable, data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post How to Heal from Childhood Neglect: A Book Review first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.