problematic pornography use - Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings

4 Ways Porn Use is Shaped by Relationship Fears

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Tue, 30 Dec 2025 16:58:20 +0000

Beyond Addiction

When we talk about porn use, the conversation often gets stuck in simple, black-and-white narratives of morality or addiction. We tend to focus on how much someone is watching, rather than asking a more fundamental question: why? While these discussions are common, they often miss a deeper, more nuanced psychological story that’s playing out behind our screens.

What if our relationship with pornography isn’t just a habit, but a reflection of our most basic patterns of connecting with other people? This is the central idea behind attachment theory. It suggests that our earliest bonds with caregivers shape how we approach intimacy, trust, and emotional closeness throughout our lives. These deep-seated patterns are known as our “attachment style.”

A recent systematic review of 10 scientific studies has begun to connect these dots. It’s uncovered surprising links between our attachment styles and our pornography habits.

This article explores the four most impactful takeaways from that research.

It reveals how our fundamental needs for connection, and our fears of rejection, can shape what happens when we’re alone with a screen.

1. For some men, porn use is linked to better relationship satisfaction

Attachment styles are patterns in how we connect with others, stemming from our early life experiences. “Anxious attachment” style, for example, creates a deep desire for intimacy but lives with a persistent fear of rejection or abandonment.

Counterintuitively, one major study reviewed by the researchers (Maas et al., 2018) found that for men with this anxious attachment style, porn use was actually associated with higher relationship satisfaction.

This finding becomes even more striking when contrasted with the results for women in the same study.

For anxiously attached women, porn use was associated with lower relationship satisfaction.

This sharp gender difference underscores a crucial point: the effects of pornography are not one-size-fits-all.

They are deeply intertwined with our individual psychology, our gender, and our attachment style. This suggests that for anxious men, pornography might act as a low-stakes supplement that doesn’t trigger their core fear of abandonment. Whereas, for anxious women, it may directly activate it.

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2. Problematic porn use can be a way to cope with a fear of real intimacy

The review highlights a powerful theme: for those with insecure attachment styles, pornography offers a sense of connection without the perceived risks of real-world emotional intimacy.

This is particularly true for individuals with an avoidant attachment style. They often fear being engulfed by a relationship and losing their independence. Research shows that for this group, addictive cybersex use can become a direct substitute for the emotional closeness they find threatening.

While both anxious and avoidant individuals may turn to pornography, their motivations often differ.

Someone with an avoidant style might use it to replace an intimacy they fear. However, someone with an anxious style might use it to soothe anxiety about a connection they crave.

In both cases, porn use can become a substitute for genuine connection when real relationships feel too overwhelming.

The review synthesizes this concept perfectly:

When people with insecure attachments use pornography to satisfy their relational needs of comfort, they engage in little or less emotional closeness and commitment, which allays their worries of abandonment and separation.

This reframes problematic use not merely as an addiction, but as a potentially maladaptive strategy for managing deep-seated relational fears of either being left alone or being consumed by another.

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3. For anxiously attached women, porn use is linked to body insecurity; specifically when they’re in a relationship

Another study in the review (Gerwitz-Meydan et al., 2021) uncovered a highly specific link for women with an anxious attachment style.

For these women, an association between their attachment style and porn use was found only if they were currently in a relationship. For single women with the same attachment style, there was no significant association.

The research identified a crucial factor driving this connection: body image self-consciousness. The study found that pornography use acted as a mediator between anxious attachment and body image issues.

In simple terms, this means that for anxiously attached women in a relationship, viewing pornography may trigger or intensify insecurities about their own bodies.

This, in turn, can activate their underlying attachment-related fears of being inadequate for their partner. Porn use directly threatens their sense of security and stoking their core fear of abandonment.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Take the free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

4. There’s a psychological link between ADHD, both anxious and avoidant attachment, and compulsive porn use.

The review also sheds light on the intersection of attachment, neurodiversity, and pornography.

One study (Niazof et al., 2019) found that problematic pornography use in men with ADHD was linked to both anxious and avoidant attachment styles, but in different ways.

Higher levels of anxious attachment were linked to excessive pornography use, while avoidant attachment was associated with higher levels of problematic use.

The researchers point to a potential explanation for this link: the “incentive deficit” that is often a characteristic of ADHD.

This concept suggests that individuals with ADHD may be more drawn to highly stimulating, novel, and instantly gratifying behaviors. It helps ADHD porn users to compensate for a brain that may be under-stimulated by everyday rewards.

When combined with insecure attachment, this creates a potent mix.

For the anxiously attached man with ADHD, pornography might serve as an easily accessible tool to soothe relational anxiety.

For the avoidantly attached man with ADHD, it may be a compelling substitute for the real-world intimacy he fears. It fulfills a need for stimulation without triggering his fear of closeness.

Conclusion: Beyond How Much to Why

The research clearly shows that our relationship with pornography is more complex than self-control or moral standing.

It can be a powerful and often unconscious reflection of our deepest relational patterns. It reveals our unmet needs for connection, and our most profound fears of intimacy and rejection.

This perspective invites us to shift the conversation.

Instead of focusing solely on the behavior itself, perhaps the more important question to ask is: What deeper needs and fears is this behavior trying to meet?

Share how this post spoke to you, or about someone you love. Do you believe you use pornography to compensate for your attachment style? Why or why not?

Are you looking for more reputable, data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

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Overthinking and Porn Use: How Gender Shapes a Vicious Cycle

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Tue, 21 Oct 2025 12:00:00 +0000

The Hidden Dialogue Between Our Minds and Our Habits

The scale of online pornography consumption is immense. In 2023, two of the largest pornography websites, Xvideos and XNXX, had more total visits than TikTok, one of the world’s most popular social media platforms. But beyond the sheer numbers, what is the internal experience of this habit? What is the relationship between porn use and how we think about our lives, our feelings, and ourselves?

New research reveals a surprisingly complex, two-way relationship between what scientists call problematic pornography use (PPU) and “rumination,” or the act of overthinking.

This groundbreaking study shows not only that the behavior can influence our thought patterns, but also that our specific style of thinking can, in turn, either escalate the problem or potentially help us escape it.

Crucially, this connection works very differently for men and women.

First, a Quick Primer: What Are “Problematic Use” and “Rumination”?

Before diving into the findings, let’s clarify the two key concepts. We’re not judging habits, but trying to understanding specific psychological patterns.

What is Problematic Pornography Use (PPU)?

PPU is not defined by how often someone watches pornography. Instead, it is characterized by a loss of control.

The official definition describes it as “poorly controlled, excessive, and/or compulsive engagement in pornography use, accompanied by significant distress and impairments in life,” such as losing a job or damaging relationships.

What is Rumination?

Simply put, rumination is the act of continuously focusing on one’s own negative thoughts and feelings.

However, not all rumination is the same.

Researchers have found that it comes in two distinct flavors: Brooding and Reflection.

Understanding this difference is essential to making sense of the study’s findings.

As professionals, our time is valuable. Dr. Weeks created the Mitigation Aide Research Archive because there isn’t enough focused, data-backed research available in easily digestible formats.

Takeaway 1: Problematic Porn Use Fuels Overthinking But Differently for Men and Women

The study, which followed 2,786 adults over one year, initially found that higher levels of PPU predicted more ruminative thinking (both brooding and reflection) a year later for everyone. This supports the “stress-reactive model,” suggesting the stress, guilt, or life problems from PPU can trigger more repetitive thinking.

However, the researchers dug deeper and uncovered a crucial distinction.

For men, the link was robust: the problematic nature of their use, the loss of control and distress, was a strong predictor of increased rumination down the line, regardless of how frequently they viewed porn.

For women, the story was different.

When researchers statistically controlled for the sheer frequency of pornography use, the link between PPU and later rumination weakened or disappeared entirely.

This suggests that for women, it may be the high frequency of viewing itself, rather than the “problematic” aspect, that is more closely tied to an increase in later overthinking.

Takeaway 2: For Women, Brooding Can Create a Vicious Cycle

When researchers looked at how thinking patterns affected behavior over time, a key gender difference emerged. For women, a specific type of rumination, brooding, was linked to an increase in problematic use down the line. The study found that higher levels of brooding at the start were associated with higher levels of PPU one year later.

Brooding is generally regarded as a more maladaptive form of rumination, which is defined as:

Adopting a passive and introspective demeanor that evaluates current circumstances against an unrealized, idealized standard, accompanied by a sense of regret and dissatisfaction.

This passive, self-critical style is captured in the very questions researchers used to measure it. Such as:

“Why do I always react this way?”
“Why can’t I handle things better?“

According to the cognitive-behavioral model, this style of thinking can exacerbate negative emotions like anxiety and stress. Women may then engage in the problematic behavior to cope with these painful feelings. Thus, creating a dangerous feedback loop where the thinking pattern fuels the habit that causes the distress.

Takeaway 3: For Men, Reflective Thinking May Act as a Protective Shield

The most counter-intuitive finding came from the data on men. For them, a different type of rumination—reflection—appeared to be a protective factor.

The study revealed that higher levels of reflective thinking at the start were associated with lower levels of PPU a year later. Reflection is seen as a more adaptive and constructive form of thinking. Its scientific definition is:

Reflection, a purposeful and active cognitive process, involves accepting and understanding distress and feelings to engage in effective coping mechanisms.

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

Why would this type of overthinking be helpful in relation to Porn Use?

The researchers hypothesize that because men report higher rates of PPU and its negative consequences, they may become more motivated to fix the problem. This motivation could trigger a more problem-solving style of thought.

As the researchers suggest, “men may be motivated to disrupt this pattern and regain control over their problematic behavior… Such a response could potentially be associated with engaging in a more problem-solving-focused type of rumination (i.e., reflective rumination), resulting in reduced PPU.”

Conclusion: It’s Not That You Think, But How You Think

The relationship between porn use and our thought patterns is not simple. This research shows that it is a complex, bidirectional cycle that differs significantly by gender. For both men and women, pornography use can be linked to more negative, repetitive thinking.

But the reverse is where the crucial distinction lies.

For women, a passive, self-critical “brooding” can trap them in a cycle, making the problem worse.

For men, an active, problem-solving “reflection” may be a key to breaking free.

The ultimate takeaway is that when it comes to the link between our thoughts and our habits, it may not be that you think, but how you think that truly matters.

This leaves us with a powerful, forward-looking question: If the way we reflect on our behaviors can either trap us in a cycle or help us break free, what does that mean for our ability to consciously change our habits?

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Are you a Licensed Professional Counselor seeking engaging, unique Continuing Education courses? Dr. Weeks offers accredited courses on her practice website on the effects of Pornography Abstinence and other unique topics!

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A Study on “No Fap” for Women?

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Tue, 18 Mar 2025 13:45:19 +0000

Most often, when we talk about online communities for abstinence from pornography and masturbation, such as No Fap, we are talking about men.

Online forums purporting abstinence, particularly Reddit, are a predominantly male space. So, where do the women go?

While we know men more often report problematic sexual behavior than women, women do still struggle with PSB issues. Where is their safe space? A recent study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior recently addressed this question.

A No Fap Study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior

The authors analyzed the posts from a women-only online forum called Porn Free Women.

Porn Free Women was developed because most pornography abstinence online spaces are dominated by men and many women did not feel comfortable or accepted participating in them.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Take the free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

Therapeutic, Empowerment and Heteronormative

The analysis of the discussions revealed 16 predominant topics that fell within three themes:

Therapeutic
Empowerment
Heteronormative

Half of the discussions fit the therapeutic theme. Pornography abstinence was discussed as overcoming adversity through healing and transformation. Here pornography was seen as addictive.

Over a quarter of the posts fit into the heteronormative theme. The discussions involved romantic relationships, identity anxiety and ideas of being a “real” woman.

The empowerment theme emphasized female empowerment and agency in building a supportive community to promote well-being.

Many of the women in the forum identified with the philosophy of pornography addiction.

Unlike men, many of these women use their own past sexual victimization to rationalize their entry into pornography addiction.

This study was interesting because it is one of the very few studies that look at a women’s perspective on desired abstinence from pornography. In a field dominated by heteronormative male voices, it is refreshing to see science finally take an interest in the female voices in the arena.

Reference

Zhang, X & Silva, D.E. (2024). “I feel like a fraud who acts like a feminist”: The discussion themes and sexual scripts in the Porn Free Women online forum. Archives of Sexual Behavior. Doi.org/10.1007/s10508-024-02858-w

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Did Compulsive Sexual Behavior get Worse During COVID?

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Mon, 13 May 2024 12:00:00 +0000

The phones rang off the hook during lock downs and our caseloads for Compulsive Sexual Behavior increased. Was it real or did it just feel super busy? Was everyone looking at pornography then?

Those of us who work in the field treating Problematic Sexual Behavior (PSB) will anecdotally tell you that during COVID and its associated lock down, PSB was on the rise.

Science is now, four years after the lock downs began, backing up our anecdotal claims.

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

The Study on Compulsive Sexual Behavior During COVID Lock Downs

In a study published last year, Gleason and colleagues surveyed over 1000 people. They asked if the respondents pornography use and masturbation changed due to COVID.

Additionally, they also assessed for Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD) to see if that had any affect on masturbation and pornography use.

Takeaways From the Study on Compulsive Sexual Behavior

First, myself and my fellow therapists, were not making things up!

Among this sample, masturbation frequency and pornography use increased during the COVID 19 lockdown. Those who screened positive for CSBD had a larger increase in masturbation frequency.

Similarly, those who screened positive for CSBD had a larger increase in pornography use than those who did not screen positive for CSBD.

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But, why?

As this was not an experimental study, no assertions regarding the cause of the increase can be made. However, we can hypothesize.

For example, many people with CSBD use some sort of sexual behavior as a coping mechanism for negative affect (boredom, loneliness, depression, anxiety, etc.) or stress. As this time in life was incredibly stressful for most people, this increase in pornography use and masturbation could have been a means for people to manage those feelings.

While masturbation and pornography use increased for most people in this survey, it seems as though those with CSBD were most influenced by COVID.

Reference: Gleason, N., Conro, K., Banik, S., & Coleman, E. (2023). Compulsive Sexual Behavior and Changes in Solitary Sexual Behaviors During the COVID-19 Pandemic. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 52, 2287-2293.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? consult with a professional.

Are you looking for more reputable, data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

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Pornographic Video Games and Sexuality

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Tue, 16 Jan 2024 13:00:00 +0000

Last Monday, I received screenshots of a game my client was playing, but it wasn’t a traditional game. He indulged in the ever-expanding genre of pornographic video games.

Some of you who read my blog regularly may know, a person on federal supervised release for an internet crime of a sexual nature must have monitoring software on their devices.

The software blocks you from sites based on probation regulations and takes screenshots of what they’re doing. When one of my clients looks at questionable things, their probation officer will contact me and send me screenshots of the content.

I’m Not Going to Moralize About Pornographic Video Games

Nor will I discuss whether or not this is an appropriate expression of sexuality for people whom partnered sex is not an option. This is just a, “Hey it’s out there if you didn’t know about it,” post.

Adult video gaming is legal and the people playing them are making a conscious choice to do so.

So why does it matter? In my work, it matters for a few reasons.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Take the free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

Pornographic Video Games and

Adolescents

We all know that most kids today game. It is super common and can be as much of a lifestyle as a hobby to kill some time. Games have come a long way from the Frogger of my youth.

Adult video games can be problematic for youth the same as pornography.

Physical and emotional development of teens does not happen along the same trajectory. Bodies might find these games exciting, but minds don’t always know how to process what goes on.

In most pornographic video games, as in pornography, there is not a discussion of consent, boundaries, or anything else. And the themes or topics are similar to pornography.

I braved a google search and adult video games are promoting themes like anal sex with your stepsister and sex with your stepmom the same as live pornography is.

Not the best themes for a growing mind to be masturbating to.

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

Individuals with Problematic Sexual Behavior (PSB)

Pornographic video games can fall into a grey area for those with pornography addictions or PSB.

They are not pornography, as many will define it in terms of live humans, but it still falls into the category of sex acts or simulated sex acts.

Using adult video games may be a gray area that a person struggling with pornography addiction can use as a means to act out while thinking they are not violating their bottom-line behaviors.

Individuals on Supervised Release

Playing these games could be a violation of the stipulations of supervision for individuals on probation, parole, or federal supervised release for crimes of a sexual nature.

Many of these probation stipulations prohibit viewing pornography. I’ve found most probation/parole officers consider adult video games to be pornography.

Playing pornographic video games and not disclosing it could cause problems with supervision and result in a freedom-losing violation.

See the latest research on criminality related to social media:

Social Anxiety and Loneliness in Online Solicitation Offenders

See more articles related to social media

What’s the Lesson About Pornographic Video Games?

For me, it was to be more specific. My client had permission to play video games. We had worked on that, and it was approved by treatment and probation. Clearly, I needed to be more specific about what types of video games were okay to play.

I needed to have more conversations about exactly what was okay to do and what was not.

Again, not here to have a philosophical discussion about adult sex games. I want to help our guys stay compliant with their conditions.

What’s the Lesson for Non-Supervised Folks?

Particularly if you are a parent of a gaming adolescent, you need to know what games your child is playing.

Be involved in their lives. Ask about their gaming. Ask if they have seen or played these games. Talk about it.

If your child is a gamer and young, learn how to block those sites or games from their gaming device.

Ultimately, the lesson is to be aware.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Are you looking for more reputable, data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post Pornographic Video Games and Sexuality first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

What Happens When You Stop Watching Pornography for a Week?

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Fri, 03 Nov 2023 12:00:00 +0000

One of the go to suggestions for pornography addiction treatment is an abstinence period. A period of time free from all sexual behavior or to stop watching pornography.

The average duration is 30 days free of any type of sexual behavior, including:

Pornography
Masturbation
Sexual intercourse

This is to allegedly “reset” the brain and dopamine pathways from a biological perspective.

It can also be a great way for couples to reconnect. It allows them to work on emotional intimacy and non-sexual physical intimacy.

Finally: A Study on Those Who Stop Watching Pornography

Despite this being a rather commonly “’prescribed” treatment plan, there is actually very little research on whether this is a scientifically sound practice.

Additionally, one of the markers of addiction is the experience of withdrawal. Many who argue against sexual addiction being a real phenomenon will say that there is no such thing as withdrawal from pornography use despite anecdotal evidence from those who abstain.

Some previous studies have noted that people who attempt abstinence from pornography experience withdrawal symptoms such as erotic dreams, irritability, attention disturbances, depression, mood swings and brain fog.

While these could be attributed to withdrawal from pornography, the authors of the study we are currently discussing state that these negative emotional effects could be the result of simply abstinence from sexual behavior and not necessarily withdrawal.

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

The Study: Background

This study, published this year in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, was a randomized controlled study that looked at the effects of abstaining from pornography for a period of 7 days.

The authors hypothesized that there would be differences between the abstaining group and the control group on the following measures: craving, positive affect, negative affect, and withdrawal symptoms. They also hypothesized that there would be an interaction between the group (control or abstaining) and Problematic Pornography Use.

Subjects

Psychology Undergraduate students at a university in Malaysia.

The authors do note that Malaysia is a conservative country when it comes to sex and pornography that does have laws that restrict pornography use.

The participants had to meet several criteria:

They had to be at least 18 year old.
They had to be regular pornography users.

176 students made the cut with 86 in the abstinence group and 90 in the control group.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Then take this free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

The Task

The control group was asked to continue engaging in their sexual behavior as normal.

The abstinence group was asked to stop watching pornography. But they weren’t required to abstain from masturbation or partnered sexual activity.

The Measures

All subjects were asked to note, on a daily basis, the following things:

Frequency and/or duration of any sexual behavior, measured daily
Pornography use, daily frequency
Duration of daily pornography use
Masturbation without pornography, daily frequency
Alternative sexual activity, daily frequency
Efforts at abstaining from pornography, daily
Pornography craving, measured daily
Daily positive and negative affects
Withdrawal symptoms, experienced daily

Creating a Baseline to Stop Watching Pornography

Prior to the start of the study, the authors assessed the following baseline measures:

Previous 4-week frequency of pornography use
Past 4-week average duration of pornography use per session
4-week frequency of masturbation without pornography prior to the study
Prior 4-week percentage of pornography use that was accompanied by masturbation
Previous 7-day frequency of pornography use
Past 7-day duration of pornography use
Baseline abstinence effort
Craving for pornography
Baseline positive and negative affect
Problematic Pornography Use
Intrinsic desire to quit or reduce pornography use
Moral disapproval of pornography

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The Results of the Study to Stop Watching Pornography

There were no significant differences between the abstinence and control group on measures of craving, positive affect, or withdrawal symptoms. There was also no significant interaction between the group and Problematic Pornography Use.

Problematic Pornography Use and Gender

There were significant differences in the results based on gender.

Male subjects had significantly higher problematic pornography use and 4-week frequency of pornography use than female subjects.

The study also looked at the data based on Problematic Pornography Use (PPU) Scores.

When the PPU scores were low, there were no differences between the groups but when the PPU scores were high, there were significant differences on the experience of craving.

Study Conclusions

The hypotheses of the study were not confirmed. There were no significant main effects of the group on all measures.

This is in contrast to previous studies that used self-report measures where subjects reported experiencing withdrawal symptoms. The authors do note that their study used nonclinical samples and the previous studies had subjects who identified with PPU.

The study found no evidence of negative abstinence effects among pornography users who viewed pornography at least three times per week. The authors then suggest that for the average pornography user there is no withdrawal when engaging in a 7-day abstinence period.

Licensed Professional Counselors: Dr. Weeks’ course Sex Addiction, Erotic Conflict, Moral Incongruence looks at what can be mistaken for sex addiction and offers treatment considerations for distinguishing those problems.

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Limitations

The fact that the study used a non-clinical sample means that the results might not be generalizable to people with Compulsive Sexual Behavior who try to achieve abstinence.

This study also contained more female subjects that other studies that have looked at this phenomenon.

From a clinical perspective, as someone who treats Problematic Sexual Behavior, these types of studies are helpful.

In this field there are some therapeutic interventions that seem like gospel despite not having a large amount of scientific evidence to back them up as a best practice.

It is exciting to see abstinence and withdrawal being studied so we can determine, in the future, if a 90-day abstinence period is actually an evidence based best practice.

Reference: Fernandez, D.P., Kuss, D.J., Justice, L.V., Fernandez, E.F. & Griffiths, M.D. (2023). Archives of Sexual Behavior. Doi.org/10.1007/s10508-022-02519-w

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Are you looking for more reputable, data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post What Happens When You Stop Watching Pornography for a Week? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Pornography Use and Erectile Dysfunction

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Tue, 12 Jul 2022 12:00:00 +0000

The concept of pornography induced erectile dysfunction (PIED) has spurred movements such as NoFap, where men pledge to stop viewing pornography and masturbating to it. A quick Google or Ted Talk search will result in a number of sites or talks discussing pornography induced erectile dysfunction (PIED).

Despite there being quite a bit of support for these ideas and movements in some quarters, there is still a lack of scientific evidence that supports PIED.

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Learn more about curbing your urges in our series on Blocking Porn.

The Study

A study published last year in the JMIR Public Health and Surveillance Journal by Jacob et al, was a collaboration between researchers and medical doctors that sought to study the issue.

The authors, in consultation with urologists, created a 118-item questionnaire that included demographic information, medical history, pornography consumption, masturbation frequency as well as the Cyber Pornography Addiction Test, International Index of Erectile Function and the Alcohol Use Disorders Identification test (AUDIT) which are all validated tests. The study participants were all in Denmark and Belgium and over 3400 individuals (aged 18 to 35) survey responses were used in the study.

For me, some of the best parts of this study are the descriptive analyses. When talking about sex addiction or problematic sexual behavior, there is this assumption that we know what “normal” pornography use or masturbation is and from there can quantify abnormal. However, we really don’t have a lot of recent statistics on how much pornography people are using and how often they masturbate.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Then take this free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

Pornography, Masturbation, and Erectile Dysfunction

The study found that 84.9% of the men surveyed started to masturbate between the ages of 10 and 14 years old and more than 70% of these men masturbated multiple times a week. 98.98% of these men used pornography while they masturbated. The study found that the median age that the men started to masturbate to pornography was 13-14 years old. Most of these men (over 90%) skipped to the “best parts” of the pornography during masturbation and over 80% of them stated that an average pornography/masturbation session lasted between 5 and 30 minutes. For the men in this study, it is safe to say that masturbating to pornography would be considered normal.

Erectile Dysfunction

The study found that over 21% of the men who were sexually active experienced some degree of erectile dysfunction. There was a statistically significant relationship between erectile dysfunction and how high the person scored on the cyber pornography addiction test, meaning individuals who had higher CYPAT scores also had higher levels of ED.

From a clinical perspective, there were several interesting findings. First, 61% of individuals who were sexually active and had some ED issues reported that they never had ED issues when they were masturbating to pornography. Second, 58% of individuals who started to masturbate to pornography before they were 10 years old had more ED issues.

Summary of Results

How often someone viewed pornography did not have an impact on ED
How often someone masturbated did not affect ED
There was a significant relationship between ED and Pornography Addiction (as tested with the CYPAT)
Individuals who started to masturbate to pornography at a very young age, at or before 10 years old, had higher rates of ED.
Other factors related to ED are experiencing performance pressure, relationship issues and identified sexual orientation.

Struggling with excessive sexual thoughts, urges, or activities that are causing you distress? Take the free, online Sexual Symptom Assessment Scale (SSAS) and get a link to share with your therapist.

For me, there are two big takeaways from this study.

The first is that viewing and masturbating to pornography is a normal behavior for men in this age category.

The second is that starting to view and masturbate to pornography at a young age has more detrimental effects than doing so at an older age.

This study provides more support for the need to talk to children about pornography and limit their access to pornography until they are older, and it is more developmentally appropriate.

Since this post dealt more with validating the scientific concepts behind PIED I want to leave you with an informational resource if you’re struggling: Your Brain on Porn.

Reference: Jacobs T, Geysemans B, Van Hal G, Glazemakers I, Fog-Poulsen K, Vermandel A, De Wachter S, De Win G Associations Between Online Pornography Consumption and Sexual Dysfunction in Young Men: Multivariate Analysis Based on an International Web-Based Survey JMIR Public Health Surveillance Journal 2021;7(10):e32542 doi: 10.2196/32542

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Are you looking for more reputable, data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? consult with a professional.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

The post Pornography Use and Erectile Dysfunction first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Love, Sex & Eating the Bones (2003) Review

Eli Irving — Tue, 07 Dec 2021 18:37:58 +0000

I remember, vaguely, the first time I saw Love, Sex & Eating the Bones. I may have been twelve or fourteen years old at the time.

The only memory I had was of the last scene where Michael cuddles next to Jasmine around a fire pit with pornography films engulfed in flames. Obviously, at the time I had no understanding about the film, other than a guy throwing porn tapes in a fire.

New Eyes

Years later, I revisited this film with “new eyes” (which is going to be a theme here) and realized not only is it a film about porn addiction.

It is a film about black people with porn addiction.

Research with this specific population is non-existent. I think that this film is one of the most important, if not the only, film with people of color dealing with porn addiction. With the lack of research aside, I think this is a great film that needs more recognition for individuals in recovery.

I feel this film could be used to help others articulate their relatability to Michael and his issues.

Synopsis of Love, Sex & Eating the Bones (Spoilers!)

The issues Michael encounters are similar for all individuals addicted to porn such as:

Erectile dysfunction
Having sexual attraction to your partner but not being able to perform due to sexual desensitization
Performance anxiety
Frustration
Decrease of quality in relationship
Guilt and shame

In the start of the film, we can see that Michael is a young man in his mid- to late-twenties. He is employed as a security guard. We also find out he is an aspiring photographer.

We see a collection of women’s pictures he taped to the wall at work like a generic teenager’s celebrity crushes.

This shows that he does objectify women to a degree. The wall of women serves as foreshadowing for the variety of porn that he consumes.

Aside from the mundane security job, Michael seems to be struggling with finding love and motivation for his photography. But when he meets Jasmine, things take a turn for the better. After a few dates with Jasmine, they attempt to have sex and he could not get an erection.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Then take this free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

After they both become frustrated, Michael proposes to try to get an erection and have sex while porn is playing in the background.

The Low Point

This makes her uncomfortable and she then leaves Michael.

This is a common issue with some partners of porn addicts. They would have low self-esteem or personalize the fact that the addict can only have an erection by watching porn. This comes from a feeling that the addict is not stimulated or aroused by the partner. If the use of pornography continues the addict could form an intimate relationship/connection with pornography instead of the partner.

Such realizations could be devastating and sever the relationship.

This was the moment when he realized that the porn is not “real.” It’s different from watching from the couch. Porn itself is just a fantasy and not a real human sexual connection.

Throughout the film we could see his addiction manifest itself as his favorite porn star.

She would come out of the screen while he would be watching porn or occupied with processing film. She would ask him to “spend time” with her.

Personification

This is an accurate representation of how a personification of the addiction would be.

Personification is a great tool that I use with my clients. I ask them to put the addict-self outside of themselves. I then explain how to make the addict-self a conduit to refuse the behaviors that the addict desires.

This could also be looked at as a personification of a trigger or urge being that voice in the mind triggering/urging the addict to act out or masturbate.

The Turning Point

There is a scene where Michael wins a chance to record a porn scene with the same porn star. He, ironically, plays a security guard in the scene.

As she pins him against the desk and attempts to go down on him, the porn actress’s face suddenly warps into Jasmine’s. He panics, yells “cut!” and runs off the set.

This was the moment when he realized that the porn is not “real.” It’s different from watching from the couch. Porn itself is just a fantasy and not a real human sexual connection.

It also looked like he was experiencing performance anxiety and/or erectile dysfunction while on set. Similar to what he experienced with Jasmine. Perhaps, he had to think about Jasmine in order to get an erection and have sex with the porn star.

After all the pornographic media he’s consumed, he decides, at that moment, to seek out an organic sexual connection/relationship that isn’t influenced by pornography.

The Conclusion

In the next scene, he’s siting in a chair talking to a counselor saying, “I just want my eyes back”. This was a great metaphor for reclaiming his vision for photography and his view of healthy relationships.

Michael and Jasmine end up getting back together after he professes his love for her and wants to commit.

Finally, we see them having sex and both climaxing at the same time as they ironically turn to the camera and say, “What are you looking at?” This showed the rewarding effects of rebuilding the intimacy and abstinence from pornography in order to facilitate a deeper intimate connection.

As a therapist, I wish the rebuilding process for intimate connections was this fast but, in the real world, it takes time.

The Takeaway from Love, Sex & Eating the Bones

In therapy we would recommend abstinence from sex with the partner, in addition to abstinence from porn, for a significant amount of time. Typically anywhere from 30-90 days. This process helps reset dopamine levels and time to work on rebuilding the other intimacies of the relationship. This may be alien to our hypersexualized culture in which intimacy does not always mean sex.

Just to be clear: intimacy also refers to emotional, physical and mental connection.

Originally appeared on EliIrving.blog on December 6, 2021

Guest Post by Elijah Irving

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Are you looking for more reputable, data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post Love, Sex & Eating the Bones (2003) Review first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Who Uses a Dumb Phone?

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Fri, 27 Aug 2021 23:54:21 +0000

For many people in early recovery from pornography addiction, a behavioral intervention they entertain is getting rid of their smart phone and going back to the dumb phone. This has caused some consternation when shopping for an old school flip phone.

Do they even make them? If they do are they in stock or does it have to be ordered. Then, some of them still have some access to the internet.

Update: To learn more about ways to restrict access to pornography, see the series on Blocking Porn.

The Dumb Phone in the News

In the past month, there have been a few articles in the Wall Street Journal about simple phones.

The first article targeted parents who were not sure about getting their tween a smartphone. It is now the norm for a tween to have a smartphone and those that don’t may face some social pushback from their peers.

Several newer phone companies have stepped up to address this gap.

The first is the Light Phone II. This phone runs on the AT&T network. It looks like a smartphone but only allows calling and texting as well as some basic apps such as music and an alarm.

The second option is the Gabb. This phone mimics the look of an iPhone but does not have any access to the internet, games, or social media.

A third option is Pinwheel this phone also looks like a traditional smart phone but does not allow access to the internet or social media. In contrast, this company does allow age appropriate, nonaddictive apps.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Then take this free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

The second article targeted adults who wanted a minimalist phone.

The MuditaPure is a cellphone that can call and text but cannot access the internet, email, or take picture. The phone does not even have a color palate and is monochrome. This device will be available in November. Another option is the Light Phone that uses black and white to avoid blue light.

Conclusion

With these new developments, there are now many more phone options for those in recovery. If you want, you can have a phone that looks like your peers’ so you can avoid the inevitable questions that come when you pull out a flip phone.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? consult with a professional.

The post Who Uses a Dumb Phone? first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Pornography Use and Mental Health in US College Students

Dr. Jennifer Weeks — Mon, 17 May 2021 22:36:00 +0000

Researchers from the Franciscan University of Steubenville published the results of their study on pornography use and mental health in college students. Their aim was to explore connections between pornography use and mental health concerns. Specifically, loneliness, depression, and stress in students.

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

The Results

Update: To learn more about ways to restrict access to pornography, see the series on Blocking Porn.

The study found that 56.6% of the students (male and female) had viewed pornography at some point. Male respondents reported significantly more use than female respondents. The study also found the emotional state of loneliness predicted depression, anxiety and stress.

While not the main focus of the study, what I found most interesting were the data about the age of first exposure to pornography and how that occurred. The age of first exposure to pornography is often younger than most people imagine. This is especially the case for parents who often do not even talk to their children about sex and/or pornography until after the average age of first exposure.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Take the free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

This study found that the majority of males (63.7%) were exposed to pornography between the ages of 9 and 13 years old. Thirty nine percent of female respondents reported exposure in the same age category. For males, the primary method of first exposure was personal curiosity, meaning that the boys were curious about sex and pornography and looked it up themselves. For females, they were most often exposed to pornography through unintentional exposure.

A Clinician’s Perspective on Pornography Use and Mental Health

The take aways from this study, for me, in clinical work and in talking to parents about sex and pornography, is that we really, really have to find a way to talk about these subjects when children are young. If almost 64% of boys and 39% of girls are exposed to pornography between the ages of 9 to 13, discussions on the topic that happen after this age range will come as too little too late.

When Should Parents Talk to Their Children about Sex and Pornography?

Parents have to find the courage and resources to talk to their children about sex, sexuality and pornography in age appropriate ways from the time they are young. I know this makes most parents very uncomfortable. However, children who have some knowledge about sexuality and no shame are more likely to not turn to the internet to answer sexual questions or to come to a care giver when they have an unintentional exposure to the material.

I have written about it before, but the Educateempowerkids.org programs are amazing. They now offer books, webinars and a podcast to help you talk to your children about anything, including sex.

Reference: Camilleri, C., Perry, J.T. & Sammut, S (2021). Compulsive internet pornography use and mental health: A cross-sectional study in a sample of university students in the United States. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 1-24

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Are you looking for more reputable, data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post Pornography Use and Mental Health in US College Students first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.