I read Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts for several reasons: 

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The first is that we sometimes have individuals referred to us for potential sexual addiction who have intrusive sexual thoughts. Frequently these individuals are not dealing with a problematic sexual behavior, but intrusive sexual thoughts and we refer them out to a great area clinician who specializes in treating Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. 

Second, we do have a lot of clients who have some version of intrusive thoughts. So, I thought: the more I could learn about it, the better.

The subtitle of the book is A CBT based guide to getting over frightening, obsessive or disturbing thoughts. 

My initial assumption was that the book was going to more traditionally CBT focused, but I did not find it so. It reads more like a book that is advocating some level of mindfulness-based practice. 

This is perfect for me as we often use this in our practice. 

One helpful part of this book is how much it normalizes intrusive thoughts. Many people have thoughts that pop into their heads that are about violence, sexualized content or doing or engaging in what the author calls “disgusting” acts. 

Anytime we can work to reduce shame it is a great thing! 

Struggling with excessive sexual thoughts, urges, or activities that are causing you distress? Take the free, online Sexual Symptom Assessment Scale (SSAS) and get a link to share with your therapist.

The Six Steps to Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts

I want to focus this review on the authors six steps to reduce distress over a thought. They are very mindfulness based and are also extremely applicable to dealing with urges and cravings in any type of addiction. 

The steps are: 

Recognize

The first step is to just recognize that an intrusive thought is just a thought. To adapt this to addiction recovery, a craving is just a craving. We can recognize it for what it is. That means we pause and label it. Thought. Craving, etc.

Just Thoughts

The next step is to remind oneself that it is just a thought or craving. 

Accept and Allow

From there we Accept and Allow the thought or craving. The author says that this means we actively allow the thoughts to be there. We don’t act on it, but we also do not need to give the thoughts or cravings attention. For example, someone in recovery might say to themselves, this is just a craving.

Float and Feel

The Float and Feel step requires perhaps a bit more explanation. The author says to float above the fray and allow the feelings to just stay there. This is described as an attitude of “non-active, non-urgent, non-effortful observation.” This is also called the Wise Mind. Float and Feel is to passively allow the thought or craving to be and not engage with it. 

Let Time Pass

Perhaps one of the hardest steps is to just let time pass. This is to learn to sit with the feelings that come up and not try to immediately do something to get rid of them. Recognize that a thought or a craving is just a false message from our brain. 

Proceed

The last step is to Proceed or just keep going. Continue with whatever it was that you were doing. 

Of course, as with most difficult things we need to change, this process is much easier said than done.  These steps take time to learn and even more time to master.  A good first step is to just be able to recognize a thought or a craving and label it for what it is. I am having a craving.  I am just going to try to sit with it as long as I can without judging it.  Thoughts and cravings pass.

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Conclusion

Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts is a nice primer to help individuals start to understand their intrusive thoughts. 

It also helps them come to understand if the thoughts are simply intrusive thoughts or indicative of something else, such as OCD, that might require professional help to master.

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Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

Are you looking for more reputable, data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post Book Review: Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

A Mindful Way through the 12 Steps

Using Mindfulness to Enhance your understanding of the 12 Steps

SATS is very excited to introduce our Mindful way through the 12 steps series. SATS staff member and CSAT candidate, Beth Songer will be offering a monthly meditation retreat that will combine mindfulness education and practice and periods of meditation to help attendees deepen their understanding of and connection to the 12 steps.

The seminar will be held on the 2^nd Saturday of each month from 10 am to 4 pm. The cost is $150.00 per session.

This is open to participants from any 12 step tradition. Mindfulness is a great tool to help those in recovery both attain and maintain sobriety. For more information, contact the SATS office at satsoffice@gmail.com or at 610-844-7180.

For more information please see our flyer at http://www.sexualaddictiontreatmentservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/mindfulness-12-steps.pdf

The post A Mindful Way through the 12 Steps first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

After a long Sunday at the office doing psychological testing for client, I came home and sat on my patio to read the Spring edition of the Tricycle magazine (www.tricycle.com). I was reminded by a great little article of a Buddhist tool R.A.I.N. I learned of it not through Buddhist teachings per se but through reading the works of Tara Brach (www.tarabrach.com) who is a psychologist and proponent of Buddhist meditation. R.A.I.N, though technically from this tradition, is an amazing tool for anyone who is working to improve their emotion regulation skills. These are skills we endeavor to teach our clients whether they are dealing with addiction, trauma, anxiety, or other issues.

So what is R.A.I.N? It stands for: Recognize, Accept, Investigate and Non-Identify. I will briefly explain what that means and then discuss how it can help with someone dealing with an addiction craving. Recognize is the idea of knowing what is happening to you in the moment. It is our ability to not be immediately reactive but to see that there is something going on for us. It is the ability to know that we are triggered, feeling an emotion or feeling unsafe, in the actual moment it is happening.

Accept is the next letter in our acronym. The easiest way to explain this (as a non-Buddhist teacher) is to say that we name what we recognize. We accept that the feeling or emotion is present. We don’t have to like that it is with us and we don’t have to do anything with it. It just is. In this process, it helps to name what has happened. “This is a trigger.” “A craving is here.”

Next we Investigate. This means that we take a step into noticing. When I am investigating emotions with clients, we will ask questions like, “What does it feel like?” Where do you feel it in your body?” What is your body’s reaction to this emotion? This is the process of investigate. During the investigation process of R.A.I.N., a person breathes through the physical feeling and sits with it. Through the process of sitting with the emotion and breathing through it, the energy of the emotion dissipates. It is a skill also used in DBT, Ride the Wave of Emotions. We just sit with it until it passes.

The final letter, N, stands for non-identifying. This means that we take the “me” out of whatever it is that is happening to us. I liken this to Don Miguel Ruiz’s agreement of “Don’t take anything personally”, though it is a little different in this case. We can learn that we are not our emotions. We have emotions but they are not something we have to build an identity around. The observer mind kicks in when we can non-identify and we can see that though something is happening to me, I can watch it happen and not react.

How do we put this in action? Let’s take a scenario I have heard in my practice with sexual addiction. If an addict sees an attractive person, they may feel triggered. The R here is to Recognize that they are, in fact, feeling triggered and having a reaction to the physical cue. The next step is to Accept that they are triggered. I encourage clients to name it out loud if necessary. To simply state, I am feeling triggered, takes some power out of the trigger. From here, I ask clients to really get to know their body’s reaction. Investigate what happens when you are triggered. When we see this person who triggers me, my heart races, my breathing changes and I get mentally distracted. If the client can acknowledge that this is a trigger, it is easier for them to non-identify and manage the trigger.

I am feeling triggered and I know this based on my body’s reaction. I accept this and can ride the wave of the trigger until it’s power dissipates. I am not my triggers and not consumed by them. In my practice, clients who work to cultivate this observermind through meditation have gained a valuable tool for relapse prevention.

For more information on our treatment program please go to www.sexualaddictiontreatmentservices.com

The post We could all use a little R.A.I.N. first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

Generally speaking, Mindfulness is the intentional acceptance and non-judgmental focus of one’s attention on the emotions, thoughts and sensations occurring in the present moment. Mindfulness interventions have been on the rise in the addiction treatment community and with good reason. It seems like each month there are more scientific studies published that support the practice of mindfulness based interventions as evidenced based practice.

The emergence of scientific data is good news for those people who have known that mindfulness is helpful all along. Though the general public, or some factions of the public might realize certain interventions are helpful, they don’t gain “credibility” (read insurance is willing to pay for them) until there is a strong body of scientific research to support their use.

A study published in 2013 by Rory Reid and associates investigated the relationship between emotion dysregulation (inability to manage or regulate emotions), impulsivity, stress and mindfulness in individuals who were diagnosed as hypersexual (sex addicts). People in this study did not engage in a mindfulness practice or therapy but were assessed based on objective tests.
The study showed that those people who were hypersexual were less likely to be mindful, or able to do things such as regulate attention, awareness and be non-judgmental of their own experiences. The author suggested that mindfulness scores uniquely contributed to the level of hypersexuality. The study also found that sex addiction is associated with unpleasant emotions, stress, and impulsivity. Dr. Reid suggests that these findings provide support for the use of mindfulness interventions to help sex addicts learn to regulate emotions and manage stress in a healthier manner.

In our practice, we are strong advocates of using mindfulness practices and integrating them into recovery. Our clients who undertake a meditation or yoga practice often begin to see impressive improvements in their ability to manage impulses to act out. The mindfulness exercises allow them to create an observer mind that can cultivate the ability to see the reality of situations in the moment. This also increases the client’s ability to act less impulsively and allows them to ride the emotional storms until they pass without acting out.

Sexual Addiction Treatment Services is honored to have Elizabeth Songer on our staff. Beth is a long term practitioner and teacher of mindfulness and meditation. In 2015, she is offering a series of mindfulness meditation seminars separately for addicts and their partners. Everyone who attends meditation with Beth loves the experience.

For more information on SATS mindfulness seminars please see our events page at www.sexualaddictiontreatmentservices.com/events.

The post Integrating Mindfulness into Sex Addiction Recovery first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.