What’s so Appealing About Being Spanked?
In the psychological community, there is often an assumption that people who enjoy being spanked, and engage in other BDSM behaviors, are doing so based on some pathology. This stems from the lack of knowledge about BDSM that most therapists have.
Research by “kink aware” therapists is growing in this area to combat the stigma.
But Why Being Spanked, Specifically?
One question often posed is why do people enjoy BSDM behaviors, including spanking, flogging, restraint, and domination?
Labrecque and colleagues thought the best way to answer that question was to ask people in the lifestyle directly.
The authors analyzed survey responses posted on kink forums for these two questions.
- In your opinion, what are the origins of your attraction to m/s (masochism and sadism)
- Why are you practicing M/S?
Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.
A Study on Sadism and Masochism
Here is what the respondents had to say.
The majority of M/S practitioners who answered the survey felt that their attraction to the behavior was intrinsic, meaning that the interest emerged at a young age and were not the result of an external experience.
Though many of these folks knew they had this attraction when they were young, it often took them to adulthood to accept the interest.
The percentage of those who felt that the origin of this M/S interest was extrinsic was much smaller (22%) with 11% of those individuals reporting that external event was childhood sexual abuse.
There were three main reasons given for why people engaged in M/S play.
- Playing with interpersonal power. This was either through giving or exchanging power with someone else. In this, there is a large importance placed on trusting the play partner and consent.
- Receiving physical pain. Many of these individuals enjoy the painful feeling for itself both in and outside of sexual contexts.
- Altering state of consciousness. Many individuals enjoyed M/S play as a means to alter their mental state.
How Should Therapists Respond to Their Clients’ Interest in Being Spanked?
The reasons for engaging in M/S behaviors are personal and individual to each practitioner.
Mental health professionals should not assume that interest in these behaviors is indicative of a mental health concern.
If the client brings up the behaviors, the best course of action is to investigate the meaning of the behavior to that person and why they enjoy it.
If the client doesn’t have a concern about their kinky behavior, we should not make it the focus of therapy, which sometimes happens due to a therapist’s own personal biases.
Reference: Frédérike Labrecque, Audrey Potz, Émilie Larouche & Christian C. Joyal (2021) What Is So Appealing About Being Spanked, Flogged, Dominated, or Restrained? Answers from Practitioners of Sexual Masochism/Submission, The Journal of Sex Research, 58:4, 409-423, DOI: 10.1080/00224499.2020.1767025
Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.
Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.
