The Autism Spectrum, Sexuality & the Law is a great introduction to how individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) are affected by sexuality exploration, sexual offenses and the ramifications of therapists practicing outside of their scope.

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In addition, the need for proper guidance and education for the use of pornography. Nick Dubin is the individual that had the unfortunate experience with misguided exploration of his sexuality. Throughout the book, he details his struggles with ASD and how he maneuvered throughout life with unasked questioned about himself, ASD and his sexuality.

Since the inception of his awareness regarding his sexuality, he never knew how to articulate it until he was an adult. Even though from a developmental standpoint, he was younger.

One concept to understand is fixation. When it comes to fixation, individuals with ASD become hypervigilant or obsessed with a subject they are interested in.

The part that lead him to his demise was when he was seeing two therapists. One that specialized in ASD and another was assisting him with sexuality exploration.

Nick was just getting his feet wet with exploring whether he was a homosexual or not.

The therapist that didn’t specialize with ASD, told Nick to look into pornography.

This was the slope. We do not know what was told to Nick during the session(s) but as Nick was diving into pornography, he started to look at pornography online then Nick ended up looking at child pornography. This lead to his arrest.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Then take this free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

My Viewpoint on The Autism Spectrum, Sexuality & the Law

From my experience, working with individuals on the spectrum that have committed sexual offenses. One concept to understand is fixation. When it comes to fixation, individuals with ASD become hypervigilant or obsessed with a subject they are interested in.

For example, if Nick was interested in dinosaurs, he would constantly research, watch movies and documentaries about dinosaurs for hours. Nick became fixated on the pornography that he was looking at and fell down the rabbit hole of random site clicking. This is a recipe for disaster.

With random site clicking, an individual could be clicking on unpopular or fringe sites without realizing it, which have a risk of displaying unregulated (not even sure if regulated sites are really regulated) content that could be considered child sexual abuse media.

After Nick committed these crimes, he proceeded with therapy and other legal stipulations.

He has written this book which is very insightful that describes not only life with ASD but also what happens when some people with ASD encounter pornography without understanding what it really is and how to utilize pornography safely.

I have recommended this book to the parents of my clients with ASD that have committed sexual offenses or problematic sexual behaviors.

Who is this book for?

This is a book that should be read to educate lawyers, mental health professionals and other individuals that want to further understand ASD. This book can also be used to exemplify how important psychosexual education is for everyone.

This issue shows that education is needed regarding the use of pornography.

We all know that pornography is out there, but we also know that child sexual abuse media is also and seeps it’s way through some of the popular and unpopular search engines. The more we could inform people on healthy portrayal of sexuality in pornography and general use of pornography, hopefully this could decrease these misguided usages of pornography and unintended viewing of child abuse media.

Originally appeared on TherapyInLit&Films on April 19, 2022

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Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

The post The Autism Spectrum, Sexuality & The Law first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

I remember, vaguely, the first time I saw Love, Sex & Eating the Bones. I may have been twelve or fourteen years old at the time.

The only memory I had was of the last scene where Michael cuddles next to Jasmine around a fire pit with pornography films engulfed in flames. Obviously, at the time I had no understanding about the film, other than a guy throwing porn tapes in a fire. 

New Eyes

Years later, I revisited this film with “new eyes” (which is going to be a theme here) and realized not only is it a film about porn addiction.

It is a film about black people with porn addiction.

Research with this specific population is non-existent. I think that this film is one of the most important, if not the only, film with people of color dealing with porn addiction. With the lack of research aside, I think this is a great film that needs more recognition for individuals in recovery.

I feel this film could be used to help others articulate their relatability to Michael and his issues. 

Synopsis of Love, Sex & Eating the Bones (Spoilers!)

The issues Michael encounters are similar for all individuals addicted to porn such as:

• Erectile dysfunction
• Having sexual attraction to your partner but not being able to perform due to sexual desensitization
• Performance anxiety
• Frustration
• Decrease of quality in relationship
• Guilt and shame

In the start of the film, we can see that Michael is a young man in his mid- to late-twenties. He is employed as a security guard. We also find out he is an aspiring photographer.

We see a collection of women’s pictures he taped to the wall at work like a generic teenager’s celebrity crushes.

This shows that he does objectify women to a degree. The wall of women serves as foreshadowing for the variety of porn that he consumes. 

Aside from the mundane security job, Michael seems to be struggling with finding love and motivation for his photography. But when he meets Jasmine, things take a turn for the better. After a few dates with Jasmine, they attempt to have sex and he could not get an erection.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Then take this free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

After they both become frustrated, Michael proposes to try to get an erection and have sex while porn is playing in the background.

The Low Point

This makes her uncomfortable and she then leaves Michael.

This is a common issue with some partners of porn addicts. They would have low self-esteem or personalize the fact that the addict can only have an erection by watching porn. This comes from a feeling that the addict is not stimulated or aroused by the partner. If the use of pornography continues the addict could form an intimate relationship/connection with pornography instead of the partner.

Such realizations could be devastating and sever the relationship. 

This was the moment when he realized that the porn is not “real.” It’s different from watching from the couch. Porn itself is just a fantasy and not a real human sexual connection.

Throughout the film we could see his addiction manifest itself as his favorite porn star.

She would come out of the screen while he would be watching porn or occupied with processing film. She would ask him to “spend time” with her.

Personification

This is an accurate representation of how a personification of the addiction would be.

Personification is a great tool that I use with my clients. I ask them to put the addict-self outside of themselves. I then explain how to make the addict-self a conduit to refuse the behaviors that the addict desires.

This could also be looked at as a personification of a trigger or urge being that voice in the mind triggering/urging the addict to act out or masturbate. 

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The Turning Point

There is a scene where Michael wins a chance to record a porn scene with the same porn star. He, ironically, plays a security guard in the scene.

As she pins him against the desk and attempts to go down on him, the porn actress’s face suddenly warps into Jasmine’s. He panics, yells “cut!” and runs off the set.

This was the moment when he realized that the porn is not “real.” It’s different from watching from the couch. Porn itself is just a fantasy and not a real human sexual connection.

It also looked like he was experiencing performance anxiety and/or erectile dysfunction while on set. Similar to what he experienced with Jasmine. Perhaps, he had to think about Jasmine in order to get an erection and have sex with the porn star.  

After all the pornographic media he’s consumed, he decides, at that moment, to seek out an organic sexual connection/relationship that isn’t influenced by pornography.

The Conclusion

In the next scene, he’s siting in a chair talking to a counselor saying, “I just want my eyes back”. This was a great metaphor for reclaiming his vision for photography and his view of healthy relationships.

Michael and Jasmine end up getting back together after he professes his love for her and wants to commit.

Finally, we see them having sex and both climaxing at the same time as they ironically turn to the camera and say, “What are you looking at?” This showed the rewarding effects of rebuilding the intimacy and abstinence from pornography in order to facilitate a deeper intimate connection. 

As a therapist, I wish the rebuilding process for intimate connections was this fast but, in the real world, it takes time.

The Takeaway from Love, Sex & Eating the Bones

In therapy we would recommend abstinence from sex with the partner, in addition to abstinence from porn, for a significant amount of time. Typically anywhere from 30-90 days. This process helps reset dopamine levels and time to work on rebuilding the other intimacies of the relationship. This may be alien to our hypersexualized culture in which intimacy does not always mean sex.

Just to be clear: intimacy also refers to emotional, physical and mental connection.  

Originally appeared on EliIrving.blog on December 6, 2021

Guest Post by Elijah Irving

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

The post Love, Sex & Eating the Bones (2003) Review first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

This article, in conjunction with the others, in Using Superheroes and Villains in Counseling and Play Therapy by Lawrence C. Rubin, has a useful analysis of why the utilization of superheroes and villains could be beneficial in addiction treatment. Essentially, it is Narrative Therapy, which Smith & Kirby eloquently preface their modality of SUD Superhero and Supervillain Activity with (p.136).

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What is Narrative Therapy?

Narrative therapy helps the client retell their story from an objective lens, in a way which gives the client the power, reflection and conviction of their own story.

The use of Narrative therapy is very insightful, both for the therapist and the client. The therapist walks with the client recreating their story of self-proclaimed weaknesses to strength.

Narrative therapy helps the client retell their story from an objective lens, in a way which gives the client the power, reflection and conviction of their own story. They no longer giving society the power to tell them who they are before or interim of sobriety and recovery.

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses?

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Using Superheroes and Villains in Narrative Therapy

The struggles of supervillain and superheroes give us a sense that they have humanistic attributes like us. This makes them relatable especially under the guise of a metaphor in their lives. Once the client can personify their addiction and not internalize it, the power becomes displaced. Therefore, making the addiction an extension outside of self. Making a more realistic entity to contend with.

This exercise supplies a detailed orientation of how to create the superhero and villain for the client in nine sections.

The nine sections are as follows (p. 138):

• Basic Information (gender, age and race)
• Physical Appearance
• Unique Features
• Weapons
• Gadgets and Vehicles
• Partners, sidekicks/henchmen
• Powers
• Weaknesses
• Motivation and Symbol

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Take the free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

The Exercise

This exercise could be utilized with clients that work well with Narrative Therapy or have an interest in entertaining the idea of a superhero and supervillain with in themselves.

What follows the exercise is a case example of a client that utilized the mentioned activity. Which gives some context on how this exercise is used and the result of the exercise.

Alternative uses of this Narrative Therapy style could be used. For example, from other films and stories. The only issue there is if the client knows of that film or story in order to develop meaning and understanding. But a film or story that the client does not know, could easily become a suggestion for discussion for the next session.

Eli Irving specializes in working with adolescents with Problematic Sexual Behavior at SATS.

Guest Post by Elijah Irving

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Consult with a professional.

Are you looking for more reputable, data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

The post A Review: Superheroes and Villains in the Treatment of Substance Abuse Disorders first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

I have always been a bit of a superhero geek (more antihero) growing up. So, I was immediately drawn to Even a Superhero Needs Counseling.

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I was enlightened, as a child, by what a “good person” does through comic books. Therefore, as I got older, I realized that you have be careful about who you attempt to save.

Some people may turn into supervillains, whether you helped them, or not. However, being a therapist and a comic book fan, I often wonder what it would be like to have them sitting in front of me at times.

The Review: Even a Superhero Needs Counseling

In his book, Even A Superhero Needs Counseling, Daniel Bates has a good approach to analyzing these superheroes and supervillains. He suggests treatment options as if they were to see him for therapy.

His diagnosing the superheroes with disorders and proposing their treatment plans was interesting to ponder. I sense he investigated some differential diagnoses before stamping some of our favorite characters with a diagnosis.

I have no doubt that other therapists would say that he is spot on with some diagnoses. But others would disagree.

Do you believe your sexual behaviors are compulsive or harmful to you or others? Then you should take the CSBD-19 free, validated self-assessment tool.

How I Use These Lessons as a Therapist

Using this book to further investigate the minds of comic book heroes and foes could be useful in therapy sessions. Especially, when we have clients that identify with comic book characters or just to share an interest in a character to help understand why our client is interested in them. I find that the use of comics could provide a bridge to some of our clients that have not even heard of the comics. For example, they might be able to identify with the same struggles and find a similar coping skill that a character may have used.

I am not saying that we would recommend parading around as the caped crusader to avenge the people that cause trauma to others, however, we could look at the actions of comic book characters who are doing something healthy to help them cope with the dark worlds that we live in.

Maybe our clients could see themselves as their own superheroes?

To Find the book: Even A Superhero Needs Counseling: What Superheroes and Super-Villains Teach Us About Ourselves. By Daniel Bates, LMHC

Guest Post by Elijah Irving

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

The post Book Review: Even A Superhero Needs Counseling first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.

I’ve always been interested in contemporary male sexuality and the ramifications men and women face from our conceptions of it. As we learn more, concepts change, and often people are reluctant to change if it effects their perception or lifestyle critically.

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In Contemporary Male Sexuality: Confronting Myths and Promoting Change by Barry and Emily McCarthy, the authors do just what the title says. They identify and critique traditional male views regarding sex and relationships by calling those views myths. The authors question the efficacy of said views. They also demonstrate how those views place women as “second class.” This substantiates their reasoning for promoting more of a cohesive platform between both men and women.

McCarthy & McCarthy call this bridge the female-male sexual equity model.

“…having this in your arsenal for challenging the reluctance could be useful to promote healthy male sexuality vs the contrary.”

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses?

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

What is the female-male sexual equity model?

The female-male sexual equity model is, essentially, a dialogue that promotes a roadmap and guidelines for change (p.11).

This concept is a great solution to the conflicts that surround what sex is and isn’t for both men and women. The model challenges both men and women to dive deeper into themselves to find their own healthy sexuality.

Once that is harnessed and articulated between partners, the relationship can grow, not only with emotional intimacy but also sexually. Statistically that’s 15-20% of relational happiness!

One statistic at that was redundant was the 15-20% efficacy of the role sexuality plays in the well-being of relationships (p.8). I and you will never forget this statistic. Whether you agree with that statistic, is up to you. The language that McCarthy & McCarthy use is moderately blaming of men for their oppressive views. Moreover, male readers should try to not take it personal and look at it more of a critique of male sexual culture. Which, without a doubt, needs to be updated and challenged.

Do you believe you have an online pornography addiction? Take the free Cyber Pornography Addiction Test (CYPAT) and have the results to speak with your therapist.

Who is Contemporary Male Sexuality for?

This book could be useful for clients that are open to challenging the perception of masculinity and their own preconceived notions of intimacy and sex.

For the reluctant client that does not want to challenge their perceptions, it could be difficult. However, having this in your arsenal for challenging the reluctance could be useful to promote healthy male sexuality vs the contrary.

Guest Post by Elijah Irving

This post contains affiliate links. The author or blog owner may earn a commission if you make a purchase using these links.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

The post Book Review: Contemporary Male Sexuality: Confronting Myths and Promoting Change first appeared on Dr. Jen's Recovery Readings.