What is Accidentally Brave all about?
I am currently at the IITAP symposium which is the annual gathering of CSAT therapists. The conference ended with the first ever showing of the movie version of Accidentally Brave.
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During the symposium, we gather for three days of continuing education focused on problematic sexual behavior.
This is the first in-person gathering since the COVID-19 pandemic forced conferences to go virtual.
Full disclosure, I normally bail on move showings, but today I stayed.
I stayed because when this play was showing in New York, I was unable to get tickets. The show had a limited run and by the time I had heard about it, it was too late to get tickets to see it live.
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What is Accidentally Brave and why am I talking about it?
In 2015, Maddie Corman’s husband, a well-known television director, was arrested for the possession of child sexual abuse material. He was ultimately convicted and placed on probation and the sex offender registry.
To use Maddie’s words, “I am not going into that as it is his story to tell and Accidentally Brave is about Maddie.”
She created this play, which shares her story, as an act of service to others who have been through or are going through something similar.
The movie stays with Maddie’s experience from the moment the police arrive at her house until after sentencing. She focuses on her own story allowing her husband and children the freedom to express themselves independently.
I am in no way a movie or art critic, so it is not in my wheelhouse to talk about things like acting or production. When I watch something like this, I do so through the lens of “is this something that would be useful to my clients.”
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Does this film mimic reality?
Maddie’s story, like so many of the partners of my clients, is raw, difficult, and full of many emotional roller coaster moments. Watching this, it truly felt like an authentic portrayal of the experiences of many partners of sex addicts and people who commit sex crimes.
The scene that really hit home for me involved her buying Halloween decorations. At that moment she realized it was the last time she would be able to decorate or have trick or treaters to her home due to her husband’s sex offender status.
It was all too reminiscent of conversations we have with clients in the fall. These thoughts don’t occur to people unless they’re in this situation.
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Who would find this useful?
I left the movie wondering who might find this film more useful: my clients or their partners?
As an exercise in victim empathy, the show is about as raw and real as it gets.
It is often easier to hear the pain when it is not directly coming from the person we have hurt.
For partners, I can imagine that watching this would be partly excruciating. It would be akin to reliving that experience. I can also imagine how validating it could be to hear this story. These partners tend to hold the family secret more tightly than partners of non-offending sex addicts.
Either way, I am hopeful that the movie will become available so that it can be used for therapeutic purposes.
Until then, it appears as though an audio version is available. I have not listened to this but assume it is a sound recording of the play. While it will likely still be super powerful, watching the movie would be more so as you get the body language to go along with the emotions.
Thank you to Maddie Corman for sharing her story in such a vulnerable and raw way.
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Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.
Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.
Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.
